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  • aspergers/anxiety/psychosis/depression

    so my boyfriend suffers with all of that
    as well as a doctor sponsored addiction to lorezepam and zopiclone
    benzo's and sleeping pills.
    he's drinking a frightening amount on top of all this.

    im not really sure what to do
    or indeed why im posting

    things have become increasingly difficult over the last few months
    his autistic type behaviors are getting worse
    he gets into complete hysteria over the smallest things
    stuff like making a phone call to his doctor
    seeing his key worker
    tidying up his flat
    he gets into fights because he just doesnt realise that people are getting angry with him.
    he has these little obsessions with random numbers
    so he'll collect eight of something
    or read each paragraph of a book sixteen times
    i dont understand the rules but they consume his life
    and if his routine gets upset
    the whole thing becomes a nightmare.

    the other problem is
    im bipolar and apart from the fiasco that happened over the summer
    im more or less stable

    i feel like im being forced into almost a carers role
    and i dont want that.
    im twenty four
    i want fun and excitement
    admittedly i want the rollercoaster of mania
    but i realise that is not a sensible course of action
    so i take my meds and go to therapy
    and im trying so so hard to get off disability and get a job again

    and it just seems like
    he's not trying
    which is ridiculous
    because i know that he is
    he's just not capable of it

    but i want a normal life
    i want to get married at some point
    maybe have some kids
    have a house
    that kind of thing

    what am i supposed to do?

    sorry this turned into a bit of a ramble
    if you read it
    'so why care for these petty obsessions? your designer heart still beats with common blood. and what if you could have genetic perfection? would you change who you are if you could?'

  • You are unhappy. You have a ton of problems relating to him to deal with. He doesn't try enough or his condition is too serious to improve quickly. This is not the life you want and you cannot change who he is.
    Reconsider your options, ask yourself if he is what you really want, if you want to spend years of your life supporting him without expecting anything in return, hoping one day he will improve. You are young and can make a new start again. Don't waste your life over somebody else.


    • Hello! I saw your post about Aspergers and depression, etc. I want to say that I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. Having a type of disorder is miserable enough, without dealing in a relationship with somone who has a disorder as well. "Stressed" is right in her post. Obviously he is not dealing with his problems and I think the drinking is a big red flag you MUST pay attention to. I have dated someone with Asperger's and (although I loved him) I had to leave, because nothing made sense. I have researched it now for years. I am a psychology major and want badly to help people. Anything I can do, if it is just an ear to listen, I am there.


      • Yeah, my brother has Asperger's. I cannot get up and walk out, cause I'm family.
        But you're not his mother or carer.
        Besides you can only make a difference around you for the better if you're happy and well yourself.
        But with your condition, you have to look after yourself first.
        You don't have to cut him off completely. Just do whatever you can to make yourself well and support him so that it doesn't get you down. I'm sure he's not alone in this world, he has family and friends to take care of him aswell.


        • thankyou all so much
          im sorry i havent been back here for a while
          a lot of drama **sigh**

          we've been together nearly eight years now
          i know it sounds stupid and teenage but he's my soulmate.

          thankfully we've got him involved with a charity who help mentally ill people
          and they've been more than incredible
          it means now that they take care of all the practical things
          so we can just have a vaguely normal relationship
          and i can concentrate on getting myself better without having to care for him too.

          we were thinking about moving in together properly
          but now i realise that is not a sensible plan as things stand
          so we're taking it slowly
          very slowly.

          thankyou all so much for your replies
          i was just at the end of my tether
          but now things have improved no end.

          'so why care for these petty obsessions? your designer heart still beats with common blood. and what if you could have genetic perfection? would you change who you are if you could?'


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