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depression- a place to vent/ discuss about depression or anxiety

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  • Hi Everyone,

    I just wanted to join in on the discussion. A couple of years ago I experienced a pretty bad time of anxiety, eventually medication and counselling brought me out of it, but I was in a rough relationship at the time and cried very easily. Most of my anxieties were based on finances and business/family troubles from a failed venture with a family member (which lead to family disputes). I realize now that the relationship was not helping me at all, while it wasn't abusive or anything, the guy and I just fell out of love and we fought a lot. We just got frustrated with each other.

    I just recently moved away to start law school. It's been a great journey over the past 3 months and I've met someone new and things have been going really well. I'm generally much happier here in the new city with new friends. I'm further away from my family which has allowed for distance from the business and I've finally been able to secure loans for school. However, sadly the stresses of law school sunk in and all of a sudden I'm back to panicking all over again. I started seeing a counsellor at school again... The other day I lost it, it was the first time I cried since I moved... since then I feel wobbly and anxious a lot more... I know I'm a smart person, I wouldn't be at law school if I wasn't and I know I'll survive, but it's frustrating that these feelings have come back, they are interfering with my ability to study

    Anyway, I'm wondering how you deal with your friends and family with regards to anxiety/depression? My new best friend here knows about my past issues and so do one or two others. I told my new boyfriend the basics, simply that I was seeing someone to talk to and that I was experiencing a bit more than the normal law school stress (he's also in law school), but I don't want to put strain on this relationship. We have been together for almost 3 months, but I don't want to scare him away. I'm trying not to let the anxiety bug mess with this relationship, but I worry that I'm going to scare him away with my issues. The other day I was panicking when he came over, and I told him I was having a bad day, he kissed me and held me and took my mind off things, it was nice. But I'm not sure how much I should share with him at this point.

    Thanks, it was nice to get this out, I'm looking forward to talking to everyone on here.


    • Yet another older post...but valuable...
      I suffer from both and would love to have others to talk with.....


      • Me too plus bi-polar and delexlyia; done a lot of of stupid things.


        • I have been battling with depression for 12 years now. It's not easy and can be very frustrating. I've tried different medications and I know which ones cause me to gain weight and which ones don't. I have been on one that doesn't and fear it isn't working as well as it used to, but I DON'T want to switch, because gaining weight will make my depression worse. Exercise and eating does NOT prevent the weight gain. I'm considering asking my doctor to bump up my dose, but then it would be at the maximum. I think I am going to try to take up a regular exercise routine to see if that helps.

          I've just been overall moody lately, snapping at my husband (even having a hard time biting my lip at work!) and have NO interest in sex. I need to seek help or change something in my life. I think exercising will help, because it will make me feel better about myself and clear my head. I HATE feeling this way and I hate treating other people badly. I never want my husband to feel unloved or unwanted and it breaks my heart that sometimes he does. I'm just tired of hurting and wish this evil illness wouldn't affect me the way it does. If there is anyone out there who has never experience anxiety or depression COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS....


          • This is mainly about the advice I want to share with everyone. But first:
            A little bit about me: I am 27 and have suffered from anxiety since I was a teenager. Unfortunately it runs in my family (my entire family is anti-depressants and my sister is a manic depressive). I'm not against anti-depressants because I believe that some people really need them, although, it is a route that I have refused to take as anything that messes with the chemicals in my brain scares me. That said, I started taking Buspar recently (this is not an anti-depressant, it is a mild, non habit forming anti-anxiety, it has no sedative affect at all) and it has really, really helped with the physical ailments related to my anxiety.
            A little bit about my anxiety: It started in the form of depression and cutting when I was a teenager (I can't go anywhere without someone looking at my left arm and saying, "Oh my, what HAPPENED?"). It developed in to anxiety/panic attacks in my early 20's. I used to have heart palpitations for hours, it felt like I couldn't catch my breath, and I was pretty much nervous all the time (I chew my fingers because of this nervousness, they are consistently destroyed). After 25, my anxiety turned into paranoia. I would get a random thought such as, "They haven't responded (to my text or email), I wonder if they're angry?". That would evolve in to me dissecting everything that I've said and done with this person over the last week and within an hour, I believed I had done something horribly wrong and that they'd never talk to me again. This caused an insane amount of anxiety. So much so that I noticed my skin was getting worse and I had bags under my eyes. Basically, you could really notice.
            What I've learned: A very good friend of mine died in August, she lost her fight with breast cancer. I learned something from her that really stuck with me and it began my slow and painful, yet somehow uphill climb to where I am today. She said (even after learning that they were going to stop treatment): Your happiness is, absolutely, your own responsibility. It is a mental AND physical responsibility.
            It sounds simple, but I really took this message to heart. It actually taught me patience, kindness, and most importantly, forgiveness. Forgiveness not only for other people but it also taught me how to forgive myself. That, my friends, is the key to living above (or with) your anxiety.
            We have one life to live. That’s it. Only you are in control of your happiness and I truly believe you can be happy in any situation if you know how to change your mindset. A part of being happy is recognizing your own patterns and habits and breaking them. Most of us are addicted to being depressed or bringing ourselves down. Let’s face it, it’s a lot easier to feel sorry for yourself than it is to be happy. I know it is for me!
            One thing I’ve thought to myself is: Does it really matter if I’m upset right now (upset about anything from something mean someone said, to being lied to, to doing something wrong or even hurting someone else)? In the grand scheme of things, me being upset is my own choice and it doesn’t have to happen. Of course we’re human. Things are going to upset us. What matters is how you let that affect you, in the short term and long term. Anyway, I could go on and on about everything that I’ve learned since September and my internal struggle for organic happiness and an anxiety free life. I could, but I won’t, I’ll spare you!
            Here’s what worked for me: Buspar, the desire to change; the desire to truly live a better life, good advice, and a little bit of chocolate every now and then. If you want to change, if you TRULY want to change, you will. When there is a will there is always a way.

            I hope this wasn't preachy, that wasn't my intention at all.

            Good luck guys! Always remember, you're not alone.


            • I have depression and anxiety had it since I was in middle school I was on several different meds ( zoloft and cybalta and a few others..) for years but at 15 I took myself off them when I got pregnant I got it bad but still refused meds I am 21 now and still won't take anything it does mess with my life though but I made the decision and am sticking to it till I see a reason I should go back on such powerful meds. I don't even take Tylenol for pain lol


              • I love your idea of having everyone share! Very inspirational. I have been dealing with depression off and on since I was about 14. It is really bad right now, but I think I may have a hormonal imbalance that is just making it worse at the moment. I say I think I have a hormonal imbalance because almost three weeks ago my period started when it shouldn't have and it hasn't stopped. I have been to the hospital and a gynecologist. Went to the hospital because I was scare I was hemorrhaging. Anyway, ever since my period started I have had such crazy emotions! Even to the extent where I felt my boyfriend of five years didn't love me anymore. I have so many different symptoms from all of this and it is making life so unbearable. It is actually why I joined this forum because I needed to just reach out and share my experience and see that I am not alone. Having these issues have me feeling just so completely isolated. I am only 21 years old and I am experiencing hot flashes and crazy things like that and I am a rather private person so most of the people in my life don't know about this problem, I just find it so embarrassing! It takes all of my energy just to try to get through the day. I really do hope the doctor has answers for me soon!


                • Hi. I have been suffering from panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for over 15 years now. It started in my early teens, and progressively has gotten worse over the years. I worry all the time about everything and anything. Some days I can't even leave the house because my anxiety is so bad. Some of my chronic symptoms are dizziness,fatigue,rapid heart rate,numbness (usually in my jaw),chest discomfort,headaches, irrability, insomnia, and difficulty remembering things just to name a few. I am currently taking Klonopin 1 mg. twice a day as needed and Wellbutrin Sr. 200 mg 1X a day for depression. Without medication, I would have several full blown panic attacks every day. Even with medication it is hard for me to go to stores, drive, and be around large crowds of people. If there is anyone who would like to talk let me know, I've been dealing with debilitating anxiety for years. Believe me, I know what you are going through. At least now in my thirties, I know this is only anxiety, causing all of my symptoms. It can be quite scary when you first start experiencing symptoms of anxiety. I must have been to about 10 different doctors when my symptoms first started. I had every test done, and seen several cardiologists before I started realizing "This must be Just anxiety". There was no other valid explanations, and all the doctors diagnosed me as having anxiety. At first I thought I must have a brain tumor, on the verge of a heart attack or stroke, and I really believed I was going to die. Thats how bad my symptoms were.


                  • hello, I'm new on this but happened to check out these post & I feel a little at ease knowing I'm not the only one. SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING & I JUMP ALL OVER THE PLACE IM SORRY BAD HABIT, just stressed out and feel so alone with all this stress I had allowed in my life.
                    Anyways my coping with my anxiety and ADD has been to withdraw myself from friends, I get really embarrassed about it. I was in a long term emotionally draining relationship, where I thought I could change a heavy addict because I seen him for who he was sober and I guess I clung onto that. That being said everyone assumed I was guilty by association, and that really hurt. I know I lack self-esteem & I can't take peoples nasty judgments towards me at all- I don't know how I've become so weak of a person, I get embarrassed just knowing I can't deal with certain things that prevent me from enjoying life. I used to be happy for no reason, I used to spring out of bed and be social- now I cringe with the fact of going out on a friday or saturday with friends who all left me at my lowest points. I take xanax for my panic attacks, which yes it works great but if you don't have anyone taking you seriously about trying to battle through your anxiety/stress/panic attacks then it's an endless cycle. My ADD I was diagnosed afterwards in my college years, in high school everyone thought I was just lazy and put me in lower level classes & at the time I thought it was cool to not have to put fourth any effort and pass. I take dexedrine for that, which I was very happy to finally graduate college and actually be focused on my life, and people not thinking I was stupid. Now I'm 26, as I watch all my ex friends getting married or having their own places- I'm trying to piece myself together. My Sister-in-Law is always trying to mentally break me down, calling me names behind my back or to people in town (my towns very small) or goes to my mother to try and get me kicked out of the house- because she has 2 children and tells my mom she wont allow them over if im there but I monitor special needs children for my job- I would NEVER in my life do anything harmful- so again that hurts me deeply. She already separated my other 2 brothers from the family, but I tried the kill with kindness-backfired, I tried to ignore her but she comes back 10X worse. I don't mean to put anyone down but I finally graduate college, and she stole the spotlight that day and started a big fight with my aunt and brother because she didn't get her way at first with getting implants- Now she has them and trys to make me fall, she loves watching people fail. I'm not asking for sympathy, I just want someones honest advice without being too harsh towards me. I know I should use what my ex boyfriend put me through and her negative energy into motivation but it paralyzes me and I find myself just going to work and back into my room-socially disconnected. I tried to talk to my doctor even changed because I have a negative reaction to anti-depressants and I don't want to be on medication forever.... I just want to be able to control my mind and not dwell on other peoples negativity, or be weak minded thinking to just settle with my ex because thats all I can get- the lies, the betrayal- really can mess up your head. I know everyone has free will and I know allowed myself to emotionally hit rock bottom, but how do I get back up?


                    • Originally posted by bel08 View Post
                      Hi there kellythecatwoman! I have had depression for about 4 years now. I have been on meds since I was 16-17 yrs old. And I have to say I was terrified I would lose myself completely if I started taking meds. I was so wrong. I am a cheerful and bubbly person now, not the secluded emo i used to be. so yeah i changed but this is the real me, not the one who screams and cries over nothing. i have been getting a lot worse again lately, but i know why so i'm dealing with it okay and i'm going to go see my psychiatrist asap and work things out.
                      so yeah depression sucks but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
                      i hope that one day i won't have to be on medication, but i can accept that i might have to be on it forever. i'd rather be happy and take meds than try to live on my own and hurt myself and those i love.
                      bel08...What medication were you taking?


                      • HitomiAdrien - I ready your post from February, and I am totally feeling you. I have always been an emotional person; apparently my whole life. When given minor criticism or when things aren't 'perfect' I over-analyze and cry. It seems to have gotten worse since I turned 40 in January 2013. Not sure if that is coincidental...I find myself blaming my hormornes for me being overly touchy lately. My boyfriend told me last month (June) that he feels he cannot point out things to me because he doesn't want me to get upset. He feels that he is hurting me when I cry. He tends to point out how easily that I cry...and even if I'm not crying...I begin to cry. Probably because of embarressment. After he and I had this discussion, I went to my doctor because I COULD NOT STOP CRYING. I was a mess. She prescribed me Venlafaxine 75mg for anxiety that I am to take every morning. I don't think it is helping much; as I got upset over something soon after she prescribed the meds to me. She called me in Xanax 0.5mg; which I don't think helps much either. The Xanax helps if I take them ahead of time if I think I may be confronted or an emotional scenario may possibly transpire. If I'm already upset...they don't help. I hadn't told my boyfriend that I went to the doctor until yesterday. I asked him if he felt that my being overly emotional could effect our relationship status in the future. He told me yes; and I lost it. I asked him if he thought of ending our relationship...and he said yes but he enjoys our time together and we will just work it out. I lost it even more. He refused to speak to me about it anymore because I was getting upset and that is why he didn't want to tell me.

                        Anyway...I go see the doctor this week. I hope she can change my medication to help me. I want to be normal. My boyfriend is great and I am going to lose him; if I haven't already.


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