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Missing my boy...

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  • Missing my boy...

    My son is away from us now for 6 months. You see he's a heroin addict and our lives have been a roller coaster to say the least. He started using at 15 right under my nose. Both my husband and I were home every night, kids always came first before our own needs like good parents do. He was using right under our noses and we never noticed. He did everything right, acted like normal. But we didn't notice the dark circles under his eyes or the weight loss, nor did we notice the weird hours he kept - he'd be up most of the night. We attributed it to being a teenager. We never knew till he started to get sick when he couldn't maintain his habit anymore - he finally told us and my life was changed forever. So it's been rehabs since then, he's 19 now, some jail time and mostly transitiional living arrangements which is something like incarceration. He's been away this last stint for 6 months now and I miss him terribly. You see the boy is back and the junkie who inhabited my sons body for 3 years is not around anymore. Will he come back? I don't know and can't bear the thought of going through this again. But he's back to normal now - clean for 1 year from the dope and he's like a shiny new nickle. He's happy again, smiling all time time and full of hopes and dreams. It saddens me to think of the childhood this addiction stole from him but a bigger and brighter future lays in wait. I miss him so much yet I'm frightened of the undcertainties that come with his release and return home. Is he gonna get it this time or will it get him. I torment myself with these questions and I know he's in God's hands but I want him to be whole and healthy for a good long time and taste all life has to offer. He's a good kid who got caught up over his head. I hope and pray this is it - I cannot nor can my husband or his twin sister endure another round of this addiction. Please God keep him safe and pray for us all.

  • Wow I'm sorry to hear about what you've had to go through. It's incredibly difficult having an addict in the family... my mother was an addict while I was growing up, she has been clean for a few years now but it severely impacted my childhood and my life. There is always a risk of relapse, happened to my mom several times. The most important thing is to not be overbearing or critical of things he does, be a positive influence in his life and make sure he knows that you are always there for support. Any negative feedback he gets will only push him away, so stay positive and support him. Make sure he knows how proud of him you are that he got clean, and encourage him to pursue his dreams and pick up some hobbies that he enjoys. That will help him to curb any thoughts or impulses he may have to go back to drugs. He should surround himself with positive people who will support him and encourage him to keep heading in the right direction, and stay away from anyone that may make him stray off course. It is hard, and it will be a constant struggle for him. Just be supportive, and remind the rest of the family to do the same. Good luck to you.

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    • Thank you so much for your advice. It's hard to be positive all the time when you scared to death. But I do tell him how proud I am that he's been clean. Love him so much - but so afraid of the rug slipping out from under me again. I'm so sorry you had to grow up with an addict mom - but thank God she's ok now. You seem very caring and compassionate and I thank you for that.
      God bless you.

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