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I feel like my mind is destroying my body

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  • I feel like my mind is destroying my body

    I don't know how long I've had panic attacks, but they seem to be immune to everything. I've tried meditation and anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicine, but often a regular day for me feels like I'm trying very hard not to die a violent death. I've been to a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist and I've spoken to school counselors and I've discussed this with my closest friends, neutral strangers, and my boyfriend, but no matter how I say it, I just feel like a broken record going over things that I've talked about a hundred times without seeing much change. Some days are better than others, but I've learned not to hold those days on a pedestal because I can already predict that the next minute or hour or day will hold negative results. I just want to relax and I don't think my body remembers how to do that. If only I could step outside myself for a day, or even five minutes -- I feel like that would bring me so much relief. Sometimes I'm so tense that no matter how turned on I feel during intimate moments with my boyfriend, when it finally comes to having sex, even that is painful because of how much I clench up. Sometimes my entire body aches from how tense I am every day.

    I don't know what to do anymore...

  • I read recently that anxiety meds help short term but make it worse long term. Have you considered alternative therapies such as accupuncture or hypnotherapy? Also massage or Reike may help.


    • Medications are to trick your mind, I was also thinking hypnotherapy ..And I know this is lame, but start reading positive books, find a role model you believe in, you'd be suprised, at that change that slowly will occur,..


      • Have you tried anything that requires the whole of your concentration? I found skiing to be that way and it became a passion for a time. Another suggestion is to look into group chanting as a way to get away and relax. Again, the concentration on doing it right and the reinforcement from the group will keep your mind focused.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


        • I agree with jns. I think you might need a "jolt", some kind of impact (or immense concentration), to snap your mind out of the loop. Get the adrenaline pumping with skiing, swimming, dancing, or just try something different out of your everyday comfort zone. If that approach doesn't help you relax a bit, then I also agree with hypnotherapy (sorry if I just seem to support others' ideas, but I do think it'll help either if you add more physical activity, or try to REALLY relax). Hope it gets better for you!


          • fight

            I have had depression for 20 years. I had suicidal depression for 16. I know what it's like for your mind to want to destroy you. There is only one way to beat this illness. It's not tablets, it's not hypnotherapy or any other . You have to fight your mind with your mind. Don't let the thoughts win, ignore them, tell them they won't win - you are in charge and despite what you feel carry on....simple..........carry on.........you will live despite what your mind is telling you. Be strong, you will win if you keep it up. Only the strong survive. It took me 16 years to beat it and I have. I still get depression but I now live as well. Accept you have it, that is the first step, it may be a long road but it's better than being dead. I or god decide when I die, not depression.


            • How to beat panic attacks

              I might add that I had panic attacks until I realised what they were and why I was having them. When you realise that YOU are causing them it helps - a lot. When we are scared the body prepares itself for a 'fight or fight' response - it's a natural response, typical of when we play sport, but when you have panic attacks it happens at the wrong time. The nervous system accelerates the heart rate and breathing becomes quicker - in effect the body thinks you are preparing for something. What you have to do is stop the 'panic spiral'. It starts in the mind. We start to think gosh I feel anxious, so we concentrate on that, we become aware of our breathing and heart rate. At that point most of us leave it at that but what causes the panic is that some of us tend to take it a step further and imagine that we might have a heart attack if our hearts don't slow down. In short it's a fear of fear. You have to cut that off at the pass and think good things. We have two nervous systems - one controls our regular breathing and heart rate, the other switches over when we need it and we are literally unable to control it. So when you panic the second takes over and we are effectively running a marathon whist being sat in our chair at home. If your panic attacks are caused by going out the only way to cure them is by 'going out'. I had agrophobia after a long stay in hospital and wouldn't go out - I was forced to go out and had panic attacks in the places I did not want to be in - only when I had them and got through them by staying in the situation did I learn. Panic attacks have triggers - identify yours, force yourself to confront them - it's called desensitization. If you want to be a victim give in to them, if you want to live, face them and be brave. My mother was scared of the supermarket, everything told her to run to the safety of her home - she was taken there and made to stay there, she had panic attacks but when she realised that nothing happened they dissappeared. We have 'safe zones' usually our homes, a certain room, mainly a bedroom - everytime we retreat to the safe zone we enforce the fear in our minds. Leave the safe zone. My girlfriend has a fear of motorways and dual carriageways, she will go the long way around rather than go down them, she asks taxis to go the same way. Every time she avoids the situation she fears the fear becomes stronger. I got her to drive down one once and she was so happy she did it, but the fear came back because she didn't carry on doing it. I couldn't walk 10 yards outside the hospital at first, but I did it then further and further, then a bus ride with a nurse, then on my own etc etc etc.... each time you achieve a target you feel so good about yourself, despite what trauma it causes. Push yourself or you will be a slave to fear. You will be a slave to your panic attacks unless you face what is causing them - you will not have a heart attack you will not die, the panic attacks make you think this. I had 20-40 a day for 6 months guys - I beat it. Be brave you can do it. I did.


              • Hello holetoledo

                First thing you need to take into account is that everyone here are not professionally trained to give you the help you need, all we can do is give you suggestions and ideas at the most. A good Psychiatrist is definately needed as well as taking an alternative to other practices.

                We must work hard for what we want in life right? So, you can beat this - you just need to want to beat it and then make it happen. Sitting there worrying about well worrying is not going to solve anything. Face your fear but know your fear, what is it you are panicking about exactly? Something from childhood? Once you get to the bottom of the different things that trigger these attacks you can address them.

                You seem very unconfident and this can lead to insecurities in a lot of areas. This perhaps has been an incident throughout your life that has made you like this. Some people relay a lot of problems from school, Bullying etc......you need to discuss your life to date with a professional Psychiatrist as mentioned earlier.

                Make it your goal to beat this, imagine yourself everyday being that confident individual you want to be. Treat these attacks as your friends and say NO to them! Not as EASY as that I know But I am sure you are getting my drift!

                Best of luck. Stay positive and motivated! You can do this.
                I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear!
                Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't


                • Best advice = don't think. WAY harder than it sounds, but it's what I try to do... As for relaxing, honestly... I just got into muscle relaxers and pot for like a year. Lol. Screwed my brain up a LOT less than those meds did... Man, forget psyche meds, I can't remember like, 3 years of my life. But really, just do whatever it takes to get through the NOW, because when the LATER part comes, you'll look back at this and go, wait, I was that messed up?? I've really just noticed how... Stable I've become over the last 5 years, and it freaks me out because I can't say when or how I got better?... Just try to think about simple, non-brain-using things and stay away from stress and drama... Everything fixes itsself with time


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