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Confessional OCD

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  • Confessional OCD

    Hi everyone

    My OCD has flared up over the last few months after years of being pretty much dormant. I'm particularly suffering with the need to confess things. I suffered from this as a child, and always told my mum everything as a result, and tried to act perfectly to avoid feeling this anxiety.

    My boyfriend has done some stuff that I don't like (who hasn't, I guess...) but I feel the need to confess this to my mum so she knows what he's really like [and it's worth pointing out that she has never judged, or thinks badly of him at all as a result. It just stops me worrying about the little things] But I feel like I'm in an endless cycle. I confess to her, feel guilty and so tell my boyfriend what I've done and say it won't happen again, but then something else surfaces etc etc...

    Basically, I'm trying to break the cycle. Something has come up that I want to tell her about, and in my head this is the only thing I can focus on and there will be no more confessions after this. But this has happened before, and something new will always crop up and I need to draw the line somewhere.

    I was wondering if anyone had any advice for how to break this and NOT tell her this time? At the thought of not telling her I feel so guilty and that she will judge me for not being totally honest all the time. But logically I know it's not fair to tell her things my boyfriend tells me in confidence, and things that just aren't appropriate for her to know (sexual stuff). I'm at risk of ruining the relationship if I keep this up, which I really don't want to do - he's a great guy. I'm driving myself crazy obsessing over the things he's done/people he's been with and telling my mum about them seems to be the only release.

    It's ok when I'm away from home (I'm at uni) and when I'm with my bf, but atm I'm home for Christmas without him and I'm avoiding too much 1-1 time with my mum because I feel like I'm keeping something from her and I'm overcome with guilt.

    Any help anyone has would be great!

  • I think as a child, it's fantastic to share your concerns with your Mother and your lucky because she's non-judgemental and probably gives either a listening ear, or sound advice, or both

    But, as you mature, in my opinion, things that are private, remain private...What I mean there, is in a relationship there should be trust, each time you speak of him, your breaking that trust and then you feel guilty and tell him... If your Mother knows alot about him anyway, and she's not concerned for your well-being that is that it's not affecting you, (other than emotionally), no harm to you, then start a Diary and when you feel you need to get something off your chest, write in it...

    You also need to consider what those bad things are and if your happy living with that yourself, if you can't communicate to him that it bothers you and it's affecting your life, and he's not prepared to compromise and "try" to stop being that way, do you need that in your life?

    Your Mother will realise your grown now, you need to speak to her and tell her that ... and somethings are now Private to you, a bond, trust,but if you need her, you will, always turn to her.....



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