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Feeling really bad

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  • Feeling really bad

    Hello, I suffer from really bad anxiety and I receive counselling on a weekly basis. In counselling we focus on the issues that have made me this way but what I want to try to fix now is the paranoia I have over my BF. I always feel like I'm not good enough, like he's cheating on me, like he deserves better. I hacked his facebook for heavens sake (I told him after I did it, and he didn't care- nothing to hide so. . ) Now his facebook checking has become a slight habit and it's worrying me. He won't change his password to help me not go on it, he doesn't see the point. But the temptation is always there and it's so easy to do. I mean, I just checked it before writing this, to check out how everyone who I don't want as a friend on my facebook is doing!! Didn't even check on him.

    Now a big problem is, last night he confided that he feels like nothing he does is good enough. Then I started crying because I knew I'd drove him to it but then instead of him talking about it, he focused on making me feel better. Which is really nice but I air my issues all the time with him, he knows how I feel (I believe honesty is key) but I know nothing of how he feels. After three years together, he finished me a month ago because of the stress, followed by him begging to have me back (I accepted) - but I feel like I don't know him anymore. A petty example would be I thought he was into heavy metal/ rock- boyish noise music lol (I like some of it but thats how I describe it, no offence anyone) to find he loves Rihannas music and dancey stuff. He said it's me rubbing off on him like his metal music has rubbed off on me. But aargh I just get so paranoid and its wearing me down.

    I love him to pieces and want to be with him all the time when hes not at work. Now logically I know that, as a loner type person, he needs time alone- he isnt getting it at work so obviously its going to happen during the time he could be spending with me. Now logically this is fine. But I still get upset when he needs his time. I guess that could come from the fact I'm unemployed and my mum always leaves me alone in the house and I have no money or friends left (they all went to university) so I get PLENTY of alone time.

    How do I sort out this horrible head mess?

  • How old are you two?

    Comment


    • Have you been checked for chemical imbalances by a doctor or a psychiatrist? It sounds like counseling may not be enough.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment


      • We are both 19 and have been together for 3 years, minus the week he stressed out, (we decided to ignore it and call it a break) and I've been on anti depressents before for severe depression (they did a quiz style test 1= not depressed 27= suicidal depressed and I scored 23) I pulled myself off them because I felt numb, my boyfriend said I acted like a drugged up zombie. I was put on fluoxitine and then sertraline and was on them for over a year, came off them last august.
        Last edited by Danniixx; 03-27-2011, 11:02 AM.

        Comment


        • We humans can get so caught up in our labels for ourselves and each other and in our reactions to how others treat us, that we lose sight of who and what we really are.

          When was the last time you got silly?

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Danniixx View Post
            We are both 19 and have been together for 3 years, minus the week he stressed out, (we decided to ignore it and call it a break) and I've been on anti depressents before for severe depression (they did a quiz style test 1= not depressed 27= suicidal depressed and I scored 23) I pulled myself off them because I felt numb, my boyfriend said I acted like a drugged up zombie. I was put on fluoxitine and then sertraline and was on them for over a year, came off them last august.
            Sounds like you need a doctor who will give you something that produces some relief without the intensity of the side effects. Your bf should be supportive of your quest to find something that works.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment


            • depends what you mean by get silly. I don't have fun anymore. I spend most of my time in the house or in his house because going outside freaks me out (I've been called ugly by random strangers before, bullied throught school and college etc) Never been drinking or anything, never been in a club properly not interested in being drunk anyway. When I want to go out he doesn't etc so I guess the answer to that question is no.

              He's supportive, has been all the way but I feel like its crippled him to see me like this for so long. I guess I'll have to go back to the doctors

              Comment


              • We do not listen to strangers, we project in-security, or how we feel, down and out, and so, idiots will pick up on this and torment, remember that.

                Not going out, not having friends, locked in a house, his or yours, is going to bring you to a very depressive state.

                Checking facebook etc, is the fear of losing the only person you have in your life.

                Yes, please go back to the Doctors and find something that is not going to zombie you out, but calm you...

                Start in-teracting over the net everywhere, to re-gain some social interaction, thoughts, skills..

                Make friends as you go along and as hard as it will be, do your hair, make-up, get dressed and go out with them.

                Read books that encourage you to be you...

                It's all going to take time but you have alot of it at present and that is what is bringing you way down....

                By choosing to no longer live this way, your only 19, will help you immensely overcome alot of what you are describing and be happy in yourself and him with you.

                CW
                PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                Comment


                • i think you need to discover who you are - that is, to learn how to have fun on your own, learn new skills, take up hobbies, meet new people (not for romantic/dating but as friends) - join dance clubs, meet up groups, volleyball teams, etc. wanted to learn how to play piano? go do that. wanted to work on public speaking - join toastmasters. you'll pick up new skills, have fun, and most importantly, learn who you are in the process -w hat makes you happy, what makes you tick, what you want in life for later, what you know you really don't like or want to do. You will learn that you don't need to depend on others to feel good.

                  if you need some medication to help calm the nerves, then definitely go see the doctor and try various medications if others that s/he prscribes is too strong or has too many side effects - it's trial and error and will require tweaking of the dose as well.

                  sure you're physically 19, but i think your spirit/soul is much younger than that. Time for that part of you to catch up! good luck! you CAN do it
                  Mighty Grasshopper
                  Health, wellness and fitness enthusiast and blogger

                  Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.
                  - Henry Ford

                  Comment


                  • thanks everyone, I'll give it a go The most difficult bit would be finding clubs and things really low of charge or that are free, as I'm saddled with bills and debt aswell

                    Comment


                    • 1. Depression IS a chemical imbalance in the brain. Anti-depressant drugs work by impacting one or two (generally) of the chemicals in the brain that effect mood. Fluoxitine (generic name for Prozac) is known for "flat lining" people, or as you said, "zombiying them out". There are many other anti-depressants on the market most have treatment effects of some sort or another. Some are very mild and some are pretty noticeable. The other down side to anti-depressants is that it may take SEVERAL ATTEMPTS with SEVERAL DIFFERENT drugs until you and your physician finds one that works "best" for you. Hang in there and keep trying until you do. You may have to be on them for years....so get use to that fact TODAY. Ask yourself, would you rather be HAPPY and functioning normally or be drug free and where you are now?

                      2. NEVER EVER stop taking anti-depressants or any other prescription medicine "cold turkey". These are chemicals that are effecting your brain and for your brain to have them one day and not have any more the next and the next and the next...can be very hard on your brain and therefore hard on you. It is ALWAYS better to wean yourself off of any prescription medicine under the guidance of a medical professional then just decide to stop them yourself one day.

                      3. Anti-depressant medicines help millions of people live much better lives everyday then they otherwise may be able to on their own. This DOES NOT mean that the meds alone will "cure" you. You still have to do the things you enjoy that make you happy and bring happiness into your life. The anti-Ds are merely a starting point or foundation on which to re-build the happiness in your life.

                      4. Getting out in the bright sunshine helps with depression too. Try to expose your skin, arms and legs, to the sun for at least 20 minutes each sunny day. Upto 30 minutes if you won't burn in that time. Exposure to sun for depression = good. Exposure to sun to the point of sun burn = bad.

                      Lots has been written about depression in this forum. Perhaps you could do a seach or an advanced search to find more helpful thoughts and ideas.

                      Comment

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