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  • Dark place

    Hi all.

    I know I haven't really been here in quite a while, but when I has last wrote here, I was going through a bad patch and my doctor had just put me on anti-depressants.

    Things had got worse and he put me on a higher dosage twice.

    Over the last few months, thing have gotten worse again though. It feels like I've "lost grip" on everything.
    I quit my job, I spend most of my days just inside because I don't want to leave the house or do anything or go any where. And most days I don't even have the heed to get dressed.

    I feel so low and horrible now, but yet it still feels like I haven't hit rock bottom, it feels like things still can get worse.

    I've quit the anti-depressants 2 weeks ago now, because they weren't helping me.

    I just feel so lost right now, but it may seem strange to say, I feel a little bit of comfort in feeling this low? It's like I hate feeling like this, but I don't want to change it either. My family try tell em to get dressed and go out and get back to normal, but I feel comfort in this dark place and sometimes, don't want to change. Or am I feeling that way because I'm not thinking straight??
    Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

  • I think you are not thinking straight. Did you go off of the anti-depressants with your doctor's consent? It's always comforting to be in a state you understand, but it may not let you function in society.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • AA,

      I am so sorry to hear this.

      The no sleepoing has been going on for over 12 months, you help people, you are there for people, and I would say your body has had enough, does want to rest, needs to rest.

      I am not sure if you gained weight as you wanted, but you better not have lost any more

      I suspect your Doctor has given you the anti-depressants because you have shown depression however, it's not the answer where non sleep is at play, for months and months and months, off course everything will seem bleak, your tired to the hilt...Your body can not cope with such little sleep for so long.

      I know you've tried sleeping tablets what about hypnotherapy? Or a referral to a Doctor that can monitor your sleep over night and come to a conclusion, it may not be as simple as they think.

      CW
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment


      • Why do you think you are feeling this way?
        How dark and quiet is your sleeping space?
        What is your diet like? Keep away from sweets, refined flour in any foods, any caffeine after 12 noon. Avoid foods with dyes in the and, MSG. Get out in the sun at least 4 hours a day, even it you just sit there. You are probably very low in vitamin D. Get a D3 supplement and start taking 2000-4000 iu a day. You should get out and take a brisk walk of at least 45 mins everyday, again earlier in the day.
        Do you meditate? You may find that helpful.
        As CW suggests, hypnotherapy may be helpful.

        Comment


        • I'm sorry to hear that you stopped taking your anti-D meds. Going "cold turkey" and the after shock on your body of doing so can be pretty tough. In addition, it may take several dosage adjustments and/or changing from one anti-D to another to another before you and your physician find the one that's right for you.

          Nobody I know likes/wants to be on meds for any condition for the long haul but if they help you in the short term, who cares? Help is help and it sounds to me like you can use all you can get right now.

          I have talked openly about my battle with depression in this forum so if you do a search, you may find something helpful in previous posts.

          Make yourself do things like what has been suggested above. I frequently go places where there may be large numbers of strangers, shopping mall, grocery store, library, just so I can be among other people. Smile at strangers. Say hello. It can really help.

          Comment


          • I've gone off the anti depressants without my doctors consent. I feel as if they are making me worse and the last two times I went to see him, he just put me on a higher dosage, so I assumed if I went again he'd just put me on a higher dosage again, so I decided to just quit them.
            I thought I may feel better without them, but pretty much just feel the same as always.

            Yes CW, the non sleeping is still on going and it feels like It's become normal for me not to sleep at this stage.
            It does feel like my body has been soo tired for such a long time now that my mind is getting tired now too.

            Every day just seems like a big blur, and constant jet lag, getting confused with which day it is or how long I actually haven't slept.

            Some days I feel happy being in a daze and being this way, yet at the same time I need something to set back back on the right road.
            I've tried everything, getting up early, going for walks, going out doing things, wathcing my diet, exercise, and then when that wasn't working, I had tried the sleeping tablets and now anti depressants and none of them has worked, and it is still just getting worse. What is next??

            As stupid as it may sound, some days I think that this will just be my way of life, because nothing so far has changed it?

            The hypnotherapy is something I am going to look in to, as it may be a last resort.
            Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

            Comment


            • There are lots of other things to try...don't give up and don't think "last resort", at least not yet.

              Comment


              • It feels like that will be my last resort as I have tried everything, and for over the past year, I haven't been sleeping, and it just feels like it will never end.
                Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

                Comment


                  1. RETINAL STIMULATION - make it a point to go outside and stimulate your retinas (eyes) for about 15 minutes a day with sunlight. This "full on" light exposure can help restore your body's natural sleep/night cycle, also known as the "circadian rhythm." Looking straight into the sun is never a good idea, but being in an area where you receive the full brightness of the sun around you is what's recommended.
                  2. NO NAPS – Avoid naps during the day. If you sleep during the day, your body may not be as tired as necessary to get to sleep at night.
                  3. COOL ROOM - Keep the temperature in your room cool and comfortable.
                  4. WAKING ACTIVITIES – Don’t participate in waking activities while in bed, like watching TV, eating, talking on the telephone, texting your friends, or using your laptop. Remember, bed has traditionally been for sleep. Train yourself to limit your bed-related activities, and your body will begin to associate your bed with sleepiness. Reading in bed is different. Reading can help you focus your mind, especially if what you read is boring. Save the murder mysteries for daytime and pick up a boring book for sleep. Reading in bed is an age-old trick for quickly getting to sleep.
                  5. GO TO BED AT REGULAR TIME – There's no easy answer to the problem of being too tired during day-time and not tired enough at bed-time. Nonetheless, most experts agree that it is most helpful for you to go to bed at a regular, planned time. If you need to sleep more, it's better for you to go to bed at your regular time and get up earlier. With time, your body should re-adjust and give you the hours you need. Be careful about driving or operating machinery when not fully rested, though. If you feel tired to the point of losing visual focus, you should definitely not be operating heavy machinery - no matter what. When not sleeping well for a period of time, ask someone else to drive you to work, if you can.
                  6. DON’T EXERCISE (<3 HOURS) – Don’t exercise within three hours of trying to fall asleep – this raises the heartrate. Slow stretching on the other hand might be just what the doctor ordered to get your body slowed down and feeling good.
                  7. DON’T EAT STIMULATING FOODS (<3 HOURS) – Don’t eat stimulating foods within three hours of trying to fall asleep – lying horizontally interrupts digestion and may cause heartburn. Also, eating high fat and carbohydrate foods might help make you groggy and help you fall asleep, but calorie-conscious people may need to weigh the benefits of such an approach to insomnia.
                  8. AVOID STIMULANTS (<2-3 hours) – Avoid all stimulants such as caffeinated and nicotine in cigarettes. Caffeinated products include coffee, tea, sodas, and especially colas. Even some aspirin or other headache remedies often contain caffeine! "Energy drinks", Mountain Dew and a wide variety of other "energy bars" or supplements often contain a high amount of stimulating products. Check your vitamin and other supplements to make sure none of them are stimulating as well. (Look them up on an Internet search engine if you are unsure.) Check labels to see if products like aspirin are in any other product you take before bed. It is a surprise to many people to learn that even cigarettes can be stimulating when you are tired. Stay away from all these substances if you want a good night's sleep.
                  9. AVOID LIQUIDS. (<2 HOURS) - many people are just simply drinking too many fluids before sleep. Parents with bedwetting children learn to curtail all liquids about 2 hours before sleep, thereby allowing the child's body to void excess liquids about 30-60 minutes before actual bed-time. Well, adults have the same pattern of voiding as children. If liquids are taken before sleep, those liquids create an urgency to urinate that can awaken the adult. While that adult usually has enough bladder control to get to the bathroom, they often do not have the ability to get back to sleep. Stop drinking before sleep, and see if you stop waking up to urinate.
                  10. WIND DOWN (<90 MINS) - 90 minutes before you go to bed, wind own your day and don’t participate in anxiety-inducing activities like checking your mail, email or even watching the evening news.
                  11. WRITE DOWN CONCERNS (<30 MINS) - Spend a few minutes before bed at night writing down your concerns and stresses, then hopes or things you’re thankful for, so that you can give your mind a rest while you are sleeping.
                  12. CALMING MUSIC/SELF-HYPNOSIS - Listen to calming music, white noise, self-hypnosis or a "brain recalibration" tape for sleep. Such tapes are scientifically designed to help you "reset" your brain and calm down. When developed by researchers rather than marketers, they are remarkably effective. Just be sure to buy your brain recalibration audios from reputable sleep companies, and not slick marketing companies.
                  13. GET UP IF YOU CAN"T SLEEP – If you can’t fall asleep after 15-20 minutes get out of bed.
                  14. AVOID BRIGHT LIGHTS – if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep within 30 minutes, get up but avoid as much light as possible. Light will only stimulate your brain’s day/night balance (circadian cycle). Avoid computer-based hypnosis programs just prior to going to bed for the same reason. The light emitted from a computer screen is intense. Any strong light is more likely to stimulate and wake your nervous system.
                  15. REDIRECT NIGHTMARES/BAD THOUGHTS – If you have a nightmare or stress-inducing thoughts, focus on a different ending. Write down your nightmare, or tell someone else about it to stop the continual thoughts.
                  The goal of this article was to help you find the right self-diagnosis for your specific underlying problem.
                  If you are doing all 15 suggestions above and still have sleep problems, it's time to call a professional. Contact a physician or psychotherapist who specializes in sleep.
                  If you still can't sleep well after a few months of working with your sleep specialist, ask your doctor for a formal "sleep study." Be sure that study doesn't just check to see if you have "sleep spnea"> If you're going to go to the hassle of a sleep study, be sure they check for all possible sources of your difficulty and not just one. Most insurance carriers will pay for such a study of it is requested by a licensed specialist.
                  If your sleep study suggests a "C-PAP" machine, try it. While it can be off-putting at first, most people can successfully adjust to it and find it to be enormously helpful if they have sleep apnea.
                  Avoid sleep medication, as this might create a dependency and only prolong your sleep problems. Some classes of such medications are far worse than others. For example, if your doctor tries to give you benzodiazepines for long-term sleep problems, run for the hills. Benzodiazepines have some of the most negative withdrawal symptoms of any other class of medication. In fact, withdrawal from heroine has been documented to pale in comparison to some withdrawal from long-term use of ativan, klonipin or valium.
                  Keep yourself honest by asking your loved ones for feedback about your sleep habits. Ask any one who lives with you for their honest opinion regarding how you might or might not be adhering to the full list of suggestions above.
                  Everyone has a different underlying reason why they are having sleeping problems. Experiment with the above 15 steps and see what works for you.


                  (light reading when you can't sleep) x
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                  Comment


                  • Thank You CW..
                    Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

                    Comment


                    • Thank You CW..
                      Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

                      Comment


                      • Don't you give up girlfriend you are beautiful, smart, and giving....

                        You need to read that , something in there is true to form and you will find the key, I believe that so believe in me and believe in you.

                        CW

                        PS Everyone check her friggen photo on post a picture of yourself, man.... sexy and beautiful.....
                        PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                        Comment


                        • Yeah, I'm starting to believe now that I don't need medication, I need to put myself through a tough and tight schedule and stick to it.

                          I believe once I start believing that I can do this myself, I will do it.

                          I've gotta get something to focus on again, and this could be it, I think..?

                          P.s, CW, I've seen your new picture, and you too are looking FABULOUS
                          Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

                          Comment


                          • My friends,


                            I took advice, and I went out tonight!! Obviously I'm not sleeping because it's 5:50 am.. But I feel good that I went out with some friends.
                            I've been home a while now reflecting on the night, and I'm so glad I done it, that I've planned another night out tommarrow with my friends.

                            I feel I am one step closer to being happy again, and feeling "normal" again.

                            I have realised that in the last few days, I still do miss my ex very much, in fact, every day. (the older guy)
                            And i think that in the last few months, I personally thought, that if i didnt speak about him, it would feel like he never happened, and I wouldn't miss him as much, but in fact I do miss him every day. and I still need to get over him.
                            But by the way I have been in the last few months, I have had nothing but time on my hands but to think about him...

                            So I now feel that the sooner I get back on track, and move on and get my life back.. I will feel better???
                            Live Like There's No Tomorrow, Laugh Until The Pain Goes Away, And Love Like Nothing Else In The World Matters.♥.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Agony_Aunt View Post
                              I took advice, and I went out tonight!! Obviously I'm not sleeping because it's 5:50 am.. But I feel good that I went out with some friends.
                              I've been home a while now reflecting on the night, and I'm so glad I done it, that I've planned another night out tommarrow with my friends.
                              That's great! Sometimes you just have to give yourself a kick in the rear, knowing that you'll be better off for it. So when you're down and not really interested in going out and doing something, often the best remedy is going out and doing something.

                              As for your ex, maybe you should reflect on the lessons you learned from the relationship and how you have grown as a person because of it. Be thankful for the time you had with him, but also realize that something even better awaits you in the future.

                              Comment

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