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I hate the way I look

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  • I hate the way I look

    I'm 30 years old so I would assumed I'm too old for this but I've been feeling so insecure about myself lately. I feel that I'm the most ugly girl in the world. I am always comparing myself to other girls and what they have and I don't. I know I'm not ugly but i always have the feeling eveybody looks better than I do. It's stupid I know, but i can't stop feeling this way. I'm very active I work a lot, work out, go to school, I have lots friends, a boyfriend, i get my nails, hair done, but i feel this way all the time. I must admit I always had to deal with it but i took control of the situation, but since i turned 30 things changed a little bit. I'm dating a guy 11 years older than i am so my life has changed. I really like him. Buy sometimes I feel he would rather being with somebody else. That maybe because he's older he is just conforming with me. OMG this sounds horrible but it's the way I feel sometimes.
    Any suggestions on how to deal with it?

  • OMG girl I feel the same way sometimes, and like you said your not unnatractive you just feel that way, that how I feel to sometimes. I'm for real and right now was one of my worst moments, this guy comes into my work dropping me off roses catching me off guard and I swear I look like crap! The other night when I met him, I had my hair done, my makup, and I was dressed nice. Omg I did look like crap!
    But anyways on the subject matter I think a lot of girls get that way though, we tend to compare ourselves to other girls a lot. I think its in our nature, we just want to be better sometimes, like competition. Don't feel bad, if you know you are not ugly, don't feel so down, I'm sure there are many people out there that think your a very beautiful person.
    Last edited by miserable mom; 07-26-2007, 06:31 PM.


    • I Can't stand Looking at My Face

      I just turned 55 this last August and I cannot look into a mirror or do I even want to leave my home.
      When I was younger, I always looked very young for my age, up until about 5 years ago. However, I have never in my life felt pretty. I had a broken large nose, moles all over my face, extremely short, usually somewhat over weight and was teased constantly all of my life.
      Now all of a sudden, it seems like I've aged 20 years.
      My mother has always been in the television and motion picture industry and was beautiful from day one and even now at 74, she looks like she could be my much younger sister. Of course she has had quite a bit of "work" done on her face due to her job, but no matter, I still just cringe when I look at myself.
      I had Botox and lip plumping and some filler done last year and for a wee bit, I did feel better. But, now it has all worn off and all I see is a misshapen face, with a crooked smile and saggy jowls ad huge fatty bags under my eyes. I hate even going to the market with my husband (who says I am pretty... he is so sweet) but I KNOW what I look like and am beginning to feel (even more) depressed at the way I look.
      I have lost over 60 pounds in the last few years and I'm sure that added to the saggyness of my face and neck, but this ugly duckling has NEVER felt pretty.
      I am worried that I will no longer want to leave my home at all soon, not to mention I almost feel suicidal when I look at my face and neck.
      My body is also in terrible shape from having my 3 wonderful sons, each over 8 to 10 pound babies, however I can hide that under clothes. But, unless I become a Muslim and wear a face covering, there is no getting around having to see my ugly, aging face.
      I just wanted to be able to tell someone how I feel and not have them pacify me by saying that I look okay for my age.
      I would LOVE to have plastic surgery, but do not have the kind of money to afford such a huge amount (about $20,000 from what I've heard) that it would cost. The Botox and all I did last year was way too much money and even my dermatologist said I needed a face-lift.
      I wanted to know if there were other women out there that shared my self loathing and depression over their looks.
      I just do not know what to do or where to turn.
      I've gone to psychiatrists and psychologists many times over my lifetime, but haven't seemed to help at all.
      Please share your stories with me.


      • If you were blind and had no idea how you looked compared to others how would you feel about the person you are. That is what matters to most people. The People who react or treat you different based on looks well... you do not want to be around those kinds of people anyway. You need to believe you are a good person and live your life.
        "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don't see the one that has opened for us."
        Helen Keller


        • This is the same guy you were dating in 2007?

          I think you stated you had been dating him for one and a half years, then and he was 40 when you started.

          So time has gone by and you still feel the same.

          Is he still viewing porn daily?

          It maybe that, if he is, you still feel second best and if he stopped, then it's still embeded into your mind.

          So you have to let him go, or it go, pending on where he is at, if it's still making you feel worthless.

          Or you have to seriously, this time sit him down and really get an idea of what he likes about it and what he loves about you and try to get a picture, if he's still viewing porn.



          • wow we were just discussing this today, how the normal signs of aging are now seen as ugly. women would prefer to look like an android than a normal 50 year old woman (yes i'm looking at you madonna!!) dunno what the answer is. i am 45 getting older i suppose but prefer to concentrate on the benefits of getting older (ie getting smarter) so i dont know what to suggest.


            • I'm over 50 and have no problem with it. I don't look like a kid anymore and don't want to. I am who I am and what I am. The LOML seems to think I look fine and I get plenty of male attention but think it has as much or more to do with attitude as anything.

              Over have the US population is over 40 now, it is inexplicable why so much attention is focused on youth. Marketers overtime work to develop a feeling of need and inadequacy so they can sell more products.
              BE A REBEL! Refuse to fall for it!!!!


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