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Girlfriend with PMDD, boyfriend at a loss

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  • Girlfriend with PMDD, boyfriend at a loss

    Hello, I am new to the forum and can use some advice:

    For the past two and a half years my girlfriend and I have been dating, and for a year of that she has been diagnosed severe anxiety and PMDD. She is now on multiple medications, but has yet to find that right mix. Every month is up and down..and then down again.

    we have been working together with this, and it is just as new to me as it is for her. I try my best to calm her down, but now she is afraid to talk to me about it. She says she "doesnt want to burden me anymore" and that "doing this to you every month isn't fair to you"

    She broke up with me on Tuesday, with tears in her eyes and her telling me she loves me. It just didnt make sense, her parents were more confused than me. She told me she just needs time and space to do this on her own. I dont know what to do, it came out of the blue (except the time that it is in the month now) and we haven't spoken since, I'm trying to give her the time right now, but she was never a "burden"..just the love of my life. I would do anything for her. Is there anything I can do?

  • Welcome.

    Nearly every woman in her reproductive years is going to have at least some issues. Pregnancy, childbirth, cramps, cysts, bleeding, emotions, swollen breasts, menopause. Women are vicissitudinous creatures. That's life. If you are going to love a woman then you accept that as a man. Let her know that you do. She's in one of the points in her life when things are a little more intense until she works things out. So what?

    Even though she's claiming to think of you what she's actually being is selfish and isolating herself. We tend to do that when we're sick. Maybe you could help her to change her focus. Have you had any difficulties that she helped you with, or just stuck with you through? Remind her of that. Men can have issues too with our hormones, prostates, etc. as well as mental health issues. Ask her if she'd quit on you.

    You might need to give her a little more time than a few days. Maybe until she levelizes. It may be better if you let her contact you. Have you all done much breaking up in the past?
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

    Comment


    • I am 33 years old and suffered with PMDD for years. I now get a monthly implant called Prostap SR [/B][/U][/B]which effectively puts you into chemical menopause - basically, no periods and no PMDD. It is a serious treatment - it is one step before a full hysterectomy - but it is the ONLY treatment that has ever worked for me (and they've been trying a lot of treatments since I was 12 years old) and it is relatively unknown (in the UK). I had to pay privately to find out that I had polycystic ovaries and PMDD - I then had to battle for 18 months with the NHS to get the treatment when I became so ill I could no longer afford the private medical bills.

      PMDD destroys the people around you, your relationships, everything. It is treated with anti-depressants and all sorts of medication that is simply trying to combat the symptoms not treat the cause.

      I spent years and years suffering, I now have a solution that actually works.

      Please show this to your girlfriend - and that it is not "women's problems" or "time of the month" it is a serious health issue that affects thousands and thousands of women - and there is an effective treatment.

      I also believe in alternative medicine to help - but unfortunately, there is no solution to PMDD I've ever found apart from Prostap SR.

      Good luck x

      Comment


      • I completely understand your pain here, I have been in the same position your partner was in. I told my partner to ******************** off, leave me alone as I was too 'burdening' him almost exactly like what you have described above but he stayed, and we fought through it.
        I am speaking from what my partner did for me, and maybe it will work for you too - my partner (even when I told him to f-off) I always knew in my head that no matter what happened albeit me moving on to someone else ect - that he would always be there, no matter what our relationship was, and it was just the support I needed at the time as I didnt have to worry about burdening him as I felt so guilty because in a gf-bf relationship your not supposed to lay sh****t on each other, even when the other is a willing participant (its just the way myself, and your girlfriend feel, sorry about that btw, Im not sure how it happens!) but when I told him we werent in a relationship he was still there for me as a friend, and that meant alot as it proved that he was there for me even though we might not get back together as a couple. It was a ******** tough period, but I suggest just telling her straight up that your there for her 100% through everything as a shoulder to cry on, friend, random buddy to talk to as you care about her - and always will no matter what happens between you, and try make her understand that you cannot walk away from a friend in a dark place. And hopefully she will see, as I did, that you are always there no matter what the future holds. I wish you both all the best whatever happens! Good luck buddy.

        Comment

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