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    Today I watched an old TV series, "Magnum P.I.", episode 2-10 called "The Taking of ******** McWilliams". In it Irene Yah-Ling Sun played Mitsu McWilliams.

    Because she had disgraced her family, she was committing Jigai by cutting her jugular vein with a kaiken (Japanese dagger.) This really hit home with me because I once attempted the same thing. I was even wearing the same traditional white robe and was using an ancient kaiken that has been in my family for generations. I'm still here because I chickened out at the last moment, not because I feared death but because I didn't want to upset the harmony of my Aunt's home where I was living a the time.

    I later tried again, using an insulin overdose with almost deadly results. I was saved at the last minute by my cousin who had entered my room to steal money from me. He saw me laying on the bed, unconscious and that I had peed myself. When he couldn't wake me up to tease me he called my aunt and she called 911. I blamed the incident on a mix-up in the type of insulin I had injected and nobody ever knew it was a suicide attempt. I will never go down that path again. Then I had nothing to live for and every day was a pain I could not endure. Today I have everything to live for, I have my loving husband, my daughter and I have made peace with my family.

    I now realize that if I had succeeded, I would have missed out on everything that I hold dear today. Life is full of pain and suffering but there are also periods of joy and happiness. Both must be endured if life is to be experienced to the fullest. Winter always turns into Spring.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
    ― Bodhidharma

  • Originally posted by chaya View Post
    Life is full of pain and suffering but there are also periods of joy and happiness. Both must be endured if life is to be experienced to the fullest. Winter always turns into Spring.
    The bad brings perspective to the good and the good brings perspective to the bad.

    My parents were poor when I was growing up, yet they were mostly happy. There were interesting lessons to be learned from that.

    I'm glad you have your personal demons at bay and are with us today.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • I think most of us, perhaps. At some point in time have been at our lowest and felt that would just be the way to go, only to change our minds and as we grow, realise the beauty out there and all things pass.

      Think I tried to jump of a balcony once, decided to ring my Mother. I say think because it was a very strong thought.
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment

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