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My therapist became my best friend

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  • My therapist became my best friend

    I began seeing a Psychiatric ARNP when I was 13. After being manipulated and harmed by a therapist I had in high school I started to see my ARNP as a counselor. She was the one who got me into the hospital for a week for my severe depression, cutting, and anxiety. After that, our relationship changed. We started having meetings outside the office at coffee shops and appointments would sometimes last hours. We really became more of friends and we would go on little trips together and dinner. It was more like we were really good friends. At the time I thought it was fine, that it was what I needed. I was so scared of losing her and I expressed that a lot. During an appointment a few months after things started to change she told me that she loved me, like a little sister and she would never go anywhere. That's what I wanted to hear. Eventually I stopped being her patient and we were going to continue our friendship, by that time I had been to her house, spent time with her and her husband, and formed a much different relationship than patient/therapist.

    My parents moved out of state and she and her husband took me in. I lived in her home for about a month before I moved out because of how awful it was there. That's when I started to realize how messed up things were. When I wasn't paying for her undivided attention my needs were fairly ignored. What she said wouldn't happen was happening. The person who could help me most was disappearing.

    Where it gets really complicated is her and her husband introduced me to my husband (after ending the therapy relationship) and we are now technically distant cousins through marriage. Everything is right in my marriage except for her and her husband being in our lives. I resent her so much and her husband is disrespectful to me and my husband. We don't talk to them much but I don't think my husband understands how messed up I feel having had this relationship with her get far too close. It wasn't until I was really deep into it that I realized why those ethics are in place. I have never really shared this with anyone in this light. Usually I speak of this on positive terms but it isn't positive anymore. It makes me so anxious and I feel like she at any moment could manipulate me somehow. I gave this woman too much power and she abused it just like the therapist she was trying to help me heal from.

    I don't know if I should get a new therapist and talk about this. I would never file a formal complaint but I feel like I need some help to reclaim some of my life from her. She helped me get clean at least. She was the one who got me into rehab. But still, it makes me sick thinking about it. I have come so far with my depression and self injury and my short drug addiction. Everything in my life is going so good except for this lingering in the back of my head. I have no idea what to do.
    Last edited by fidler.e; 07-04-2013, 07:40 AM.

  • Originally posted by fidler.e View Post
    When I wasn't paying for her undivided attention my needs were fairly ignored.


    It makes me so anxious and I feel like she at any moment could manipulate me somehow.
    What needs were ignored? Could you give an example?

    How has she manipulated you in the past? Again, an example would help me understand what you are going through.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


    • Hi,

      I'm pretty much in the same boat.

      I would also like to know why you feel she could manipulate you, how she ignored you..it sounds as if you are leaving a fair bit out there.


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