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Lonely

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  • Lonely

    I am not sure if this would be classified as a mental health issue but most definitely anxiety. My husband is a busy man and co-operates a business. well my problem is that I feel so lonely. With him gone a lot of the time I seem to do a lot of things on my own as my kids 21 and 17 have their own lives. I get excited that we get sometime together and I start planning something to do. Then he tells me before I let him know of my plans that he has meeting. I get disappointed but I don't even tell him. I realize that his business is important but sometimes I just wish he could say no and chose me over business just like once in awhile..... Any advice???

  • Hi hon.

    Has he always been a work a holic? I guess you had your kids there and it was easier now they are at a different age where they are not there as much.

    I think he needs to realise that you are important. You've raised his children, his home, and miss him. I don't think you should be quiet. Discussions in a normal light should be had, you are, after all telling him you miss him...

    But, also we can't be dependant on anyone really. We have to know how to live our own lives when needed as well by ourselves... We need to live our own passions as well in life, hobbies, goals.

    Perhaps you lived through your children? Now it's time to live through you and the others are part of your life.

    Though, also a husband and the intimacy and bonding, dates, getting dressed up as ALSO very important and should be a part of this thought pattern.
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment


    • Don't wait until the last minute in hopes that he will have some free time. Plan for him to ensure there is free time, let him schedule you into his calendar and tell him NOT to let other business interfere. Have him check his calendar with you there so he and you know there is nothing work-wise going on that day or evening, then make your plans. Tell him they are not subject to cancellation.
      That which we forget may as well never really happened.

      Comment



      • "Kidnap " him..

        Plan ahead, ask his Co Owner/ Operator to keep it secret and schedule a Night or Day Date .
        Talk to the Co Owner/Operator and explain you want to have some well deserved " Our Time".

        The Co Owner/Operator should understand and appreciate when his/her Partner is Happy and Relaxed that he will perform better at work .

        Promise to reciprocate for the Co Owner/Operator , if time is needed off, Hubby will cover for him or her .

        Sundays are rarely " Meeting " times. Other than Church Pastors and Goers.. lol
        So plan on a Sunday if possible, but other days are OK, depending on what type of Business he runs.

        Get a Whiteboard, plan out your regular week and his .

        On it put a Star and say " Our Time ", put it 3 days in the week. Ask hubby to chose which Day or Days. You two will have your " Our Time " ? The kids can help with this . If you have Pets or Chores, they can help take over and give you two some time together .

        If he cannot chose one Day/ Evening a week to Commit to You and your Marriage. I would be concerned and then have a talk about your feelings ,about not being able to share your life together, but just being separated people married in a household .

        Comment

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