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Struggling with friendships and feeling hopeless

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  • Magnetism,

    Sorry it’s taken a while to get back to you. Trying to type in WH was a nightmare, LOL. I would type a letter and it would freeze. Argh!!

    Some people have crappy attitudes because they aren’t truly happy with their life. Perhaps they settled because they felt their biological clock was ticking, or allow peer pressure (or family) to influence their decision. Others are just bullies and get off on hurting other people.

    On the other hand, there are genuinely good people who enjoy spending quality time with their friends. Rather than being jealous of their accomplishments, they celebrate with them. They want to give as much as they receive. They aren’t “fair weather” friends. They are there through good and bad. They want you to succeed.

    I think you are on the right track seeking friends with common interests and who encourage you to excel. Continue seeking activities that you enjoy and mingle with likeminded individuals. ☺

    On a side note:
    There is a family who moved close by about a year ago. They have a son who is close to my sons’ ages and the boys enjoy playing together. The first time I met her, she proceeded to tell me about a tiff she’d had with another neighbor. During this conversation, she made the other woman sound like a villain, which I knew wasn’t true. She then proceeded to spill about her life, an array of trials and tribulations, while trashing everyone along the way.

    The red flag went up. If this woman, who I had met twenty minutes ago, was trashing that many people, I knew it would only be a matter of time before she trashed me as well. No Thank You! Not somebody I want to associate with or try to befriend. Those are the kind of people who suck the life out of you and make you want to pull your hair out. Life is full of drama and quite frankly; I have neither the time nor energy to allow bloodsuckers into my daily life.

    I enjoy helping others. If I can lend an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, I will. If I can offer some advice that may shed light on a situation, I will. There are some situations that reach out and grab my heartstrings because I sincerely hope that the individual will find peace. For example, when a forum member posts solid, well thought out advice, I respect them. When they find themselves in a distressing predicament, and bear their heart and soul, I want so much for them to find happiness. Because they are genuine, kind hearted people.

    You are kind hearted and have a tendency to pull for the underdog. (Not a bad quality) But I think you jump in headfirst and give everything you’ve got to help someone, and when the table is turned, the same person shuns you, and therefore, you wind up hurt. Perhaps if you allow time for the friendship to develop and make sure the people you are hanging around are as genuine as you, you’ll find friendships that last.

    I’m routing for you all the way!! ☺

    Euphoric

    Comment


    • That means a lot to me to say I'm kind. A lot of people tell me that, but these experience make me wonder. Then again, an unhappy person isn't the best judge. Having no job, no money, being in love with men that cheat....I wonder how these "friends" get up everyday and put up with that.

      It's funny that you mention the trashing everyone observation. These three people also did the same thing. Talking about who slept with who, who sucked in bed, who did this, and who did that. Talking about sex is fun, but does that have to be the central topic of life?
      "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

      Comment


      • Just wanted to bump this thread and saying I'm doing amazing. My life is pretty busy with things that I'm passionate about. The male friend in this op came back and texted me. I talked to him casually, but I don't want to talk consistently. Our values are very different. Euphoric-You were right. This man wanted me more than I did. There's a saying that when a man really likes you, he will end up coming back and trying to get in touch.

        I've become quite chummy with the two girls that I met a training, and am meeting more people. I'm enjoying my solitute, because it helps maintain who I am.
        "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

        Comment


        • Hey Magnetism,

          I've had you and another members situation on my mind. I'm soooo glad to hear things are looking up. You deserve it. I think you are making a wise decision to kept the male friend at arms length. I could be wrong, but feel like he would take advantage of the situation if you drop your guard and cause you a setback. I love that you are staying true to yourself and not allowing other's input to skew your vision. Stay strong, and as I always, you know how to reach me if you need to

          euphoric

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Magnetism View Post
            I've become quite chummy with the two girls that I met a training, and am meeting more people. I'm enjoying my solitute, because it helps maintain who I am.
            Good for you Magnetism. What a turn around from your original post.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment


            • Jns-all of these people made me realize that I can rise above their nonsense and tap into my true potential. I'm fed up with trying to be like everyone else. All of those "am I strange" sexual topics that I made can go to hell . I like what I like and am not letting anyone try to tell me otherwise. These so called friends would tell me that I'm submissive, that I'm too girly, that I try too hard.....bull********! I like being a feminine woman that likes to give pleasure and do my best. I do all of this, because it makes me happy.
              "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

              Comment

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