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Feeling smothered by the past

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  • Feeling smothered by the past

    On the lead up to my recent long term relationship failing, and more so after, thinking back to better times makes me feel smothered. I feel like I can't breathe because there is so much time between then and now, so much history. I can't breathe. I'm still in the same job I was in 5 years ago, I graduated from university two years ago and have just managed to get some head way in, and now I have lost my girlfreind. I constantly think back to when our relationship was fresh and new. I'd only been in my job 2 years and was in my final year of university.

    I had less bills then and time seemed fresh and good. Why do I find just the thoughts are suffocating me?!?!
    Happy and Taken!

  • It's normal to feel overwhelmed from time to time. I get those same feelings sometimes, thinking back at how easy things used to be. Less bills, more freedom, less cares, more fun, etc., but you need to try and focus on the positive things in your life. You've made head way in your current place of employment. That's something to be proud of. Keep up the good work. I think you should get involved in some activities outside of work. Join a basketball or softball league, meet new people and make new friends. You'll soon see that things are just as good now as they were then. It's all about perspective. It sounds like you need to find yourself again.

    I know how that feels. I was in a 4-year relationship that had ended and felt so lost after. It was such a blessing though, because I was able to rediscover myself and it gave me an opportunity to explore new activities and meet new people. It just sounds like you need something new and fresh in your life. Put yourself out there


    • When we look back upon our lives we can do one of three things. 1) We can romanticize what happened and in what sequence or we can 2) demonize them and turn everything around and make them worse than what they were or 3) accept the past for what it was and nothing more but a memory. What you now need to do is to not look back unless it is to clarify your own thoughts and actions. Look back only to determine what it was you had hoped to accomplish by now and make practical plans to get there starting now. Make your plans and take positive actions to accomplish them. Then you can focus on the now.
      That which we forget may as well never really happened.


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