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Emergency contraceptive - Depression support.

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  • Emergency contraceptive - Depression support.

    Hi all,

    I've only just joined Womens Health, although I have stumbled across many old threads from this community when googling various things in the past. I'll try to keep this post as short as possible while providing enough information so as to aid any potential replies.

    For the past few months I have been dating a wonderful woman. We are essentially a couple in all but the label - I just haven't found the right time to ask her out yet I want it to be kinda romantic - Anyway, we've slept together a handful of times and we've always used a condom. Except for last weekend when we drank a few glasses of wine, one thing lead to another, and we had unprotected sex.

    The next morning we both woke up feeling very disappointed with the irresponsible behavior that we'd exhibited the night before (despite it being great), and decided to go to the pharmacy together before work, to get the morning after pill.

    Since then she has been feeling very down and depressed. At first I thought it would pass in 24/48 hours but it seems to still be keeping her down! I'm really just looking for some advice on what I can do to support her through this time? I know other people on this forum have been through similar, so perhaps you could share what you found to be an effective form of support that your friends/partners may have provided to you?

    She has been on medication (SSRI's) for OCD/Anxiety for a number of years, and I read that people who have had previous bouts of depression may experience a kind of "relapse" after taking the morning after pill due to the hormonal imbalance. I really don't like the idea of her being sad, especially considering I am partly responsible for her having to take the moa pill.

    FYI: There is no risk of STI's as we both we were both been tested before we got together.


    TL;DR

    - Partner is feeling depressed after taking the morning after pill - What can I do to support/help her?

  • Does this lady have strong beliefs about hormonal contraception or abortion? She may be feeling guilty about having prevented a life developing? If she has OCD the fact that you did something out of the normal routine could be playing havoc with her head, she may be punishing herself for not being more vigilant about sticking to routines? Or even worse, if she's overcoming the OCD problem and trying to live a more carefree life then this might be a setback, an apparent sign that if she had stayed with her obsessive behaviours then this would not have happened. These may be totally out of line but I'm trying to think from her perspective based on what you have said.
    I've been taking SSRIs for years and the occasions that I took the moa pill I didn't notice any increases depression, I was just totally paranoid that my next period wouldn't come...
    “...choose to believe in your own myth
    your own glamour
    your own spell
    a young woman who does this
    (even if she is just pretending)
    has everything....”
    ― Francesca Lia Block, How to (Un)cage a Girl

    Comment


    • Thank you for your reply, Calibri.

      I think what you said about her normal routines has really struck the nail on the head. Her OCD is the intrusive thoughts variety so I can imagine that, like you say, she is punishing herself. If that is the case what do I do (if anything) to help?

      We went out for dinner last night we had a good time and as always there was lots of laughter but I could tell she is still feeling down, I did ask if there was anything I could do or whether she wanted to talk about it but she just said that she feels "down" and "not her usual self" but "she doesn't know why". I don't want to put to much pressure on her to talk about if she doesn't want to (is that the right thing to do?)

      Before all this happened she hinted to me that she wanted to be my girlfriend, so I wonder if that plays into it too?! I mean this happening with a boyfriend is bad enough, but it happening with a guy you're just dating must be even worse.

      Ahh you women can be so complicated

      Comment


      • In my opinion, if she is saying she feels down and doesn't know why, then either she doesn't want to talk about it, or she is not yet able to explore for herself what it is that has made her sad. Don't push her to talk, or make it into a big "thing" because that will probably make it worse in her head. Don't ask her to be your gf just because you are worried about her or feel guilty! Do it if that is what you want from the relationship. It might detract her attention a little and reassure her that doing something different is not always bad!
        It's a very tricky psychological question and my OCD coping skills are a bit rusty. I hope someone with more experience with a partner having OCD answers too. Is she seeing a therapist at the moment? Hopefully this sadness will pass and she will be back to herself soon enough but she may need to talk it through with someone else if not you.
        “...choose to believe in your own myth
        your own glamour
        your own spell
        a young woman who does this
        (even if she is just pretending)
        has everything....”
        ― Francesca Lia Block, How to (Un)cage a Girl

        Comment

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