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Imipramine is not for me

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  • Imipramine is not for me

    Over a month ago I was raped. I thought I could handle it, I was wrong. I can't stand the thought of sex with either my husband or my girlfriend ( I am Bi). I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. I lost my appetite, eating sometimes makes me sick and I throw up, I lost 13 pounds. The least little thing makes me cry. My mother talked me into going to a therapist. I was prescribed imipramine and I took it for a week. I started having crazy thoughts and bad dreams. It started with dreaming about being raped and beaten. Two days age I dreamed I was killing myself, it was so real I had my husband's gun in my mouth, I remember feeling the cold barrel on my tongue and was trying to pull the trigger but it was too hard to pull, I woke up in a cold sweat screaming. I couldn't stop crying and trying to hit anyone that came near me. They took me to the ER where they gave me a shot of something. When I woke the doctor told me not to take any more imipramine and to see a psychiatrist. He gave me a referral, I made an appointment for yesterday morning but I canceled and didn't go. I feel a lot better but my husband says I have to go and wants me to make another appointment. I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I do know I don't want to go to court to testify and I don't want to go to the psychiatrist.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
    ― Bodhidharma

  • I'm sorry that you are having so many problems caused by the rape. I think you should look after your health and not worry about testifying at this time. That probably means going to a psychiatrist. Did you go to the Buddhist retreat?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • As important as I believe it is to testify, I do believe your own health comes first.
      See how you are feeling off that med, and please see a good rape counsellor to help you process all the feelings and thoughts. If you see no results with the first counsellor, please try another.

      And please keep coming here to update. We care and I hope the anonymity will encourage you to purge some of the negatives in your mind and body.

      Thinking of you Chaya. Take care.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by jns View Post
        I'm sorry that you are having so many problems caused by the rape. I think you should look after your health and not worry about testifying at this time. That probably means going to a psychiatrist. Did you go to the Buddhist retreat?
        I was going to go to Yokoji-Zen center, I had a room reserved for a week. Then my mother from Hawaii came to visit so I had to cancel.
        [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
        Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
        ― Bodhidharma

        Comment


        • The WH family here cares for you Chaya. So please go to another rape counselor as you need the help to get you back to a normal life again. Tell them you having night mares as you need to get a good night sleep. I hope your mother visiting will help you as well in dealing with this horrible trauma you have suffer. But like kitty said please keep the WH family here up dated on your process Chaya.
          When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Motorguy View Post
            The WH family here cares for you Chaya. So please go to another rape counselor as you need the help to get you back to a normal life again. Tell them you having night mares as you need to get a good night sleep. I hope your mother visiting will help you as well in dealing with this horrible trauma you have suffer. But like kitty said please keep the WH family here up dated on your process Chaya.
            I went to another counselor, she was more understanding that the first one. The first one just want to medicate me, with very little counseling. I went to the fourth and hopefully last session today. I was able to have sex with my husband last night without having a panic attack so maybe I'm over it. Tomorrow night I'm going to work for the first time. It will be hard to face the others.

            The man who raped me pled guilty in exchange for a 1 year sentence. This was his first offence, he had a clean record. I don't understand why he decided to rape me. It's not like I dress provocatively or look sexy. Maybe he just has a thing for oriental women.
            [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
            Not thinking about anything is Zen. Once you know this, walking, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is Zen.
            ― Bodhidharma

            Comment


            • One thing for sure I can tell you is, that you are not guilty of anything in this. You did not do anything wrong so don't look for reasons to blame yourself.
              Whether we like it or not, alot of people have mental health issues and no on knows what triggers this behavior. More often than not, even they don't
              know it themselves.
              So don't waste time trying to find out why you. As hard as it will be, time , family and looking forward are the best things to think about right now!
              You sound like a strong person and don't lose that!
              All my thoughts are with you and keep talking to us!

              Comment


              • Trust me there was nothing you did or didn't do or could have done. You know why rape happens? Because it wasn't consensual. Even if you are silent unless consent is give, it's rape. I'm involved with an organisation called Red My Lips. We're all about supporting people who've been abused. They helped me a lot. I was raped when I was 18, so about 8 years ago now. One thing no one ever told me is that you can go into survival mode. I didn't feel different afterwards. Within the last couple of years I've had flashbacks and panic attacks. I've been seeing a psychologist which has really helped me. I hope you can find someone to talk to that will help you get through this. If you wanna talk about your experience I'm here to listen. Sending you positive thoughts. Oh yeah I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder and major depression when I was 17 so I fully went crazy after I was raped. Meds eventually helped me, I had to try a few different ones before I found one that worked for me.
                You're a song written by the hand of God - Shakira (Underneath Your Clothes)

                Comment


                • So sorry this happened to you. It wasn't your fault, I'm glad counselling is helping. One year isn't enough for all the pain he caused you.
                  Take care

                  Comment


                  • I am sorry this happened to you. Rape victims seldom "ask for it". You were a victim, pure and simple. Know that you're not alone in this. If your first counsellor isn't right for you, see another one. The damage has been done, BUT you can still recover from this. It is normal, as well, to wonder: Why me? Did I encourage the rapist? But you are NOT to blame in any way. I wish I could make your pain go away, but only time and a lot of love can do that. I really hope things look up for you.

                    Comment

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