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  • mental strength

    there's a kid in my kid's class that has "anger issues" and my kid is having trouble standing up to this kid
    we role played again but my kid said it would be hard to stand up to this kid
    any new ideas to give my kid a little extra "mental strength" and not be afraid?
    (this is happening at lunch time and recess when teacher is not around)

  • We have some students that are bullied and we showed them a short whiteboard animation called "Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists." It's free online.

    I don't know how much it helped our students. Trying to get them to talk is very difficult.
    "Those sowing seed with tears
    Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Stillness View Post
      short whiteboard animation called "Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists."
      Trying to get them to talk is very difficult.
      thanks stillness, just watched it but nothing new on it (bought book in K to help deal with a physical kid then)
      after role playing beg. of year, "you don't have to worry, I made friends with kid, kid has anger issues and has no friends" (what my kid said)

      found out yest that kid even pushes around a kid with disability at lunch, tells kid "scooch" and makes that kid move, and our kid admitted yest, afraid to stand up to this kid (even tho they are supposed friends)



      Comment


      • At one time teachers had the backing of the parents and the school administrators so they could deal with difficult children, even calling in the gym teacher or football coach if necessary. Too many lawsuits have resulted in teachers realizing that nobody will back them in disciplining aggressive students and so they back off and there is no order.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment


        • Originally posted by jns View Post
          . Too many lawsuits have resulted
          in teachers realizing that nobody will back them in disciplining aggressive students and so they back off and there is no order.
          that is true, however, husband remembers the parents from begin. of yr, said they had real concerns re their kid
          (maybe kid needs meds?)

          Comment


          • Have you met with the school admins to discuss your concerns? I know parents avoid that when they can, but it sounds like there is some behavior that definitely doesn't need to go unnoticed. Bullies are often very sneaky in their behavior and then DARE anyone to tell on them.

            Mental strength is grown. I think you're off to the right start. There will always be people kiddo is fearful of or intimidated by. But as kiddo practices what you're teaching time and time again, will get more comfortable with it. I think sometimes, the bully is bad enough that the kids are wise to just stay away.
            "Be what you're looking for."

            Comment


            • Originally posted by amy40 View Post

              that is true, however, husband remembers the parents from begin. of yr, said they had real concerns re their kid
              (maybe kid needs meds?)
              I'm not a psychiatrist, but we acted up in school and got beat, then we stopped acting up. We knew the educators loved us and that discipline was good, we were happy, and we're not scarred for life. On the contrary, it benefitted us.

              Somehow, they talked us into replacing good discipline with drugs. A smack on the hand or paddle across the butt along with love and instruction is dangerous, but manmade chemicals running through our children's little brains altering the way they work is good?

              Okay, that's my rant for today. Carry on...
              "Those sowing seed with tears
              Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Stillness View Post

                I but manmade chemicals running through our children's little brains altering the way they work is good?
                Okay, that's my rant for today. Carry on...
                just mentioned meds because thought maybe ADD or ADHD ?

                am so against corporal punishment, to me it's not discipline but punishment

                Comment


                • I hear you, Amy. There's a difference between abuse and discipline, though. Discipline, whether it's physical, mental, or both does not hurt children. Abuse messes people up. No one needs to be hit for that to happen.

                  But, this is about you and your baby. We all do what we think is best and I'm in no way critiquing your parenting style.
                  "Those sowing seed with tears
                  Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Stillness View Post
                    But, this is about you and your baby. .
                    back to that......
                    when husband ate lunch at school, the kids were on best behavior

                    Comment



                    • we've been listening to brave song before school this week
                      so today, my kid said to other kid "please stop bossing me around"
                      other kid said "I'm sorry if it feels like I'm bossing you around"

                      my kid said not sure about the apology

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                        we've been listening to brave song before school this week
                        so today, my kid said to other kid "please stop bossing me around"
                        other kid said "I'm sorry if it feels like I'm bossing you around"

                        my kid said not sure about the apology
                        It's maybe a start. Kids and people sometimes don't realize how they are perceived by others. It may require further comments that give some details about the negative reaction.
                        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                        ...
                        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by jns View Post

                          It's maybe a start. .
                          it's a great start! our kid was afraid to say anything and finally spoke up
                          none of my role playing etc helped but think listening to Brave song/ seeing the words/us singing them helped?

                          told kid was proud spoke up

                          (think our kid not sure about other kid's apology because other kid has apologized to others with a sneer, laugh etc, not really meaning it, and then continues to be mean)

                          Comment


                          • I was bullied once, growing up. Times were so different then. I took it awhile, more than a school year, before I'd had enough of her. She was tormenting me on the school bus after school, and I laid into her. I was in the second seat, and the driver saw it all. He nodded to me, smiled. He'd seen it go on enough I guess.

                            I don't think, in our culture now, that any of that would be tolerated. I remember how good I felt that day, and how I looked at her different after that, and she never made eye contact with me again. Lol.

                            I think these days, kids are not being taught to solve a problem on their own. Parents and teachers swoop in and save them. Now I'm not meaning there aren't times it's appropriate for the adults to intervene, but I like to see my nephew's and nieces being allowed to be bullied until they decided to stand up for themselves. Hope that isn't interpreted as condoning violence and misbehaving

                            So, that story may have less to do with your kid and the situation here, but I think generally, communication and support is a good start. Empowerment and education for the kids... Until such time boundaries are crossed and more needs to be done. Giving a child the tools to stand up for himself is equally as important to me, as teaching a child why bullying is wrong.

                            Comment


                            • Once, I was the bully. I didn't see it that way, but I was making fun of a kid in my class. It was definitely beyond friendly teasing.

                              It didn't last very long, because when his feelings were hurt enough, he came over and socked me in my eye. There was no fight. He wasn't trying to kill me - just one solid punch to the face. After I got over the shock, I realized how wrong what I had been doing was and how it hurt him. I was clearly ignoring his pain and having fun at his expense. I never made fun of someone like that again.
                              "Those sowing seed with tears
                              Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                              Comment

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