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mental strength

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  • Popcorn&Candy
    replied
    Excellent post, Loric2014. A well said comment.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Deleted

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  • Nikki
    replied
    My son was in a similar situation last year. I do this meditation called Kelee meditation and it has you go within. I started to teach it to my son. It grounded him in himself. Thereby improving his mental strength. In my experience bullies don't like to be seen. So I had him work on saying something out loud when he was being bullied drawing attention to the bully, or just giving the bully a look when it occurs. Both have helped.

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  • miahere
    replied
    Hey amy40 , I could tell you of whatever minimal experience I have with this when I was schooling,
    You must be knowing my situation... And due to that nobody really bullied me openly and it was never physical, in the smaller years there was this one boy who really picked on me but usually he was quiet while the teachers were there, otherwise it was all just verbal, he was joined by his idiot followers who laughed at his dumb jokes, but as everybody got older it was mostly the girls who were just verbally sort of bullying me, the boys got more and more mature about my situation as opposed to the girls despite the belief that girls mature faster. I used to always just let them know of how hurt I was by what they said and they probably felt really guilty and embarrassed, that always seemed to work temporarily. Of coarse with boys I don't know much, they can physically try to bully which maybe getting out of hand. Lots of people think talking to your bully doesn't work but it does, as long as you talk to them alone without their crowd of followers,

    Eventually I got to hear in later years that boy didn't have a very healthy household. So there must be some frustration held in there, while it's wrong to put it on others it's still a problem.

    When I made a few friends a lot of that attention left me because it was harder for people to bully a group of people despite what the movies tell you

    I hope you find some solution to this, but I think the only way to deal with it is to speak to the bully, punishing a bully usually just makes them more angry and possibly vengeful.
    Last edited by miahere; 02-20-2017, 07:56 AM.

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  • amy40
    replied
    after talking with another parent, it seems we made mistake by not saying something right at beginning of year
    but according to our kid, things were ok soon after beg of school year.......until they weren't recently






    thanks miahere for your input and others as well!

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  • amy40
    replied
    there's a lot of disruptive kids in class this year, compared to other years

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  • atskitty2
    replied
    amy I think it's sad. I haven't raised my own kids so, I do want to be forthcoming and honest about that, since you're fairly new and may not know that.

    I can only comment on observation and experience with my students and nephews and nieces, friend's kids.

    Interesting how other cultures manage these social situations. Still's story is much like the way we dealt with things growing up, and the way I hear so many of my international students tell their stories.

    It seems like you're doing the best you can to support your child and possibly help this lost soul of a bully in the process.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
    I think these days, kids are not being taught to solve a problem on their own. Parents and teachers swoop in and save them. .
    Kitty, that does happen a lot, parents intervene and go overboard


    told our kid again this morn was proud and asked if brave song helped to speak up, it did
    our kid said was afraid to speak up cause 1) didn't want to hurt other kid's feelings
    2) was afraid of what kid would do (keep in mind the other kid has an anger problem and has hit kids in face)

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  • Stillness
    replied
    Once, I was the bully. I didn't see it that way, but I was making fun of a kid in my class. It was definitely beyond friendly teasing.

    It didn't last very long, because when his feelings were hurt enough, he came over and socked me in my eye. There was no fight. He wasn't trying to kill me - just one solid punch to the face. After I got over the shock, I realized how wrong what I had been doing was and how it hurt him. I was clearly ignoring his pain and having fun at his expense. I never made fun of someone like that again.

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  • atskitty2
    replied
    I was bullied once, growing up. Times were so different then. I took it awhile, more than a school year, before I'd had enough of her. She was tormenting me on the school bus after school, and I laid into her. I was in the second seat, and the driver saw it all. He nodded to me, smiled. He'd seen it go on enough I guess.

    I don't think, in our culture now, that any of that would be tolerated. I remember how good I felt that day, and how I looked at her different after that, and she never made eye contact with me again. Lol.

    I think these days, kids are not being taught to solve a problem on their own. Parents and teachers swoop in and save them. Now I'm not meaning there aren't times it's appropriate for the adults to intervene, but I like to see my nephew's and nieces being allowed to be bullied until they decided to stand up for themselves. Hope that isn't interpreted as condoning violence and misbehaving

    So, that story may have less to do with your kid and the situation here, but I think generally, communication and support is a good start. Empowerment and education for the kids... Until such time boundaries are crossed and more needs to be done. Giving a child the tools to stand up for himself is equally as important to me, as teaching a child why bullying is wrong.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by jns View Post

    It's maybe a start. .
    it's a great start! our kid was afraid to say anything and finally spoke up
    none of my role playing etc helped but think listening to Brave song/ seeing the words/us singing them helped?

    told kid was proud spoke up

    (think our kid not sure about other kid's apology because other kid has apologized to others with a sneer, laugh etc, not really meaning it, and then continues to be mean)

    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by amy40 View Post
    we've been listening to brave song before school this week
    so today, my kid said to other kid "please stop bossing me around"
    other kid said "I'm sorry if it feels like I'm bossing you around"

    my kid said not sure about the apology
    It's maybe a start. Kids and people sometimes don't realize how they are perceived by others. It may require further comments that give some details about the negative reaction.

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied

    we've been listening to brave song before school this week
    so today, my kid said to other kid "please stop bossing me around"
    other kid said "I'm sorry if it feels like I'm bossing you around"

    my kid said not sure about the apology

    Leave a comment:


  • amy40
    replied
    Originally posted by Stillness View Post
    But, this is about you and your baby. .
    back to that......
    when husband ate lunch at school, the kids were on best behavior

    Leave a comment:


  • Stillness
    replied
    I hear you, Amy. There's a difference between abuse and discipline, though. Discipline, whether it's physical, mental, or both does not hurt children. Abuse messes people up. No one needs to be hit for that to happen.

    But, this is about you and your baby. We all do what we think is best and I'm in no way critiquing your parenting style.

    Leave a comment:

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