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Borderline Personality Disorder??? HELP!!!

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  • Borderline Personality Disorder??? HELP!!!

    I would like to hear from others with Borderline Personality Disorder and hear how they get through it day to day and from highs to lows, and how to deal with other's not understanding what it's like to live with it. Also, other than the drug side of it, how to encourage healing and changing habits that have been bad and gotten you in trouble. Please help...

  • I myself wonder how I get thru the day with it. but lots of prayer and reading my bible really helps.

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    • I was diagnosed with BPD a year or so ago, and it explained a lot to me, but I have found it very, very difficult to deal with in relation to others who know my diagnosis. As in, I feel very invalidated by others for my reactions/responses/actions because everything slight "wacky" is put down to the illness, and I get frustrated, because what I feel is still **real**. That is the hardest part for me... as I get more and more frustrated, i **appear** to get more and more "crazy", which confirms people's impressions of me and the invalidation thing goes round and round.

      Have you tried DBT? That was designed as a therapy for BPD; it was recommended to me but I have not followed through. I know others who swear by the skills they have learnt in DBT to help them on a daily basis. It might be worth looking into or asking your psych about?

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      • By all means do whatever you can to deal with this. Speaking from the other side of the equation, having been married to someone who has BPD, it is very difficult to cope with - especially when they refuse treatment or to do anything about it.

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        • i have BPD, and obviously its a disorder that until diagnosis, we have lived with all our lives. its remarkable how many times i consider that others may have this same disorder, albeit in different degrees perhaps. i got my diagnosis 3 yrs ago now and my initial reaction was NO WAY combined with YES YES YES, relief ! at best we can describe the state of BPD as going from one extreme to another, so one day you may say blah blah I LOVE THAT, another its I HATE THAT, the very same thing and thats because, yes, we are at the extremes of the polars and it is real, at that time, to feel what it is we say we feel. what is hard is for others to understand, i beleived for a long time that i was a , cos i could so fall for an idea, a belief, then confuse myself with my contradiction and when i was a child i thought it was because i believed i wanted what others had ... etc. but of course, its not as simple as that, but thats about as simple an analogy i can provide. and if we struggle to understand what we need, then how can others. it makes us look fickle, as if we lie, or are untrustworthy and then we go to great lengths to try and be, as trustworthy, as honest ... and this is all before i was diagnosed.
          i think for me, with the diagnosis, it was a torn thing, as i described and to try and get others to understand, even for assessment, is an ongoing thing and now i struggle to maintain any level of relating, or relationships
          i think tho that those with BPD are very creative, in different ways, i mean look at it, we have managed to survive, by wearing another layer, a different skin, to that which we feel we are, but to expose who we are, would be unsupported - and this is the belief we carry, it doesnt mean that the person we are is bad, or flawed, but we have believed this and have behaved accordingly to avoid hurt, distress etc at the same time, it is unavoidable and its usually described as an Emotionally Unstable Disorder as well, where we can become enraged, angry, frustrated, distressed, disturbed even, as well as agitated, paranoid, defensive - all manner of emotional states combined, ranging from moderate to extreme
          which means we become exhausted attempting to manage these states which incorporate a fragile ego, where we are afraid to engage or unwilling, from one extreme, to reckless and willing to over-indulge and provocate on other occasions
          what i have to do for myself is try to eat as simple as possible, take moderate exercise, sleep at least 8 hours, rest, keep to a simple routine so that i am neither over or under stimulated and not enter situations where i know i am going to flounder, especially on not-so-good days
          i have done some work on BPD, before i was diagnosed, self help, trying to understand, i attended group therapy and i would endorse any kind of support or understanding of this complex condition
          family were mixed in their reaction, my children expressed they "only knew me" as this way, whereas my extended family, my ex, all thought i was attention seeking, and do not understand any level of mental health problem or issue - all seemingly warranting any kind of support with the offer of a good kick up the bum, but then i believe these are the factors that didnt allow me to be well in the first place
          the outside world have little time or understanding of mental health in general. i find that most people believe mental health to incorporate either depression or schizophrenia and whilst there are a number of books and films on the subject, these are glorified to a degree and individual and not totally expressing how bewildering the condition is on a daily basis, more glamorising the suicide/self harm impact
          i hope this helps somewhat !

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