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I figured out why I have such bad abandonment issues today.

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  • I figured out why I have such bad abandonment issues today.

    I think my anxiety stems from the fact that every best friend I've ever had has completely ditched me as soon as they made another friend. In kindergarten, then again with another in 4th grade, then again and again all with different best friends. The most recent one is happening right now. Like literally, I'm on lunch at work and my best friend hasn't spoken to me the entire time because of a woman that's been here for like 3 months. Love her, nothing against her, she's awesome. Just a little salty towards the friend. I feel like something has to be wrong with me that has people loving me for a few months then boom nothing. I have literally just now thought about it and put all this together. I just needed to get it off my chest. It hurts terribly. Oh well.

  • It certainly hurts when you lose best friends! So sorry.

    You may need to grieve each loss you have experienced. Sometimes we don't grieve and then the sadness stays with us and it keeps adding up. Take time to think about your friends, what you had with them, and then grieve the loss.
    Then you can be open to the next friends that come in your life. Best to you.

    Comment


    • Smarsh.....not that long ago I was thinking about some of my childhood friends, also and wondered how they might be doing now. I actually found some info online about a couple childhood friends. Why don't you try to look them up and see what they are doing. You might even want to reconnect as adults.

      Think about the good times you had with your friends as you grieve their loss. Hopefully, some smiles will come, too!

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      • You're very helpful. You seem like a really good person. Thank you, I needed that

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        • I can relate to this to an extent. When I'm tight with someone, I'm tight with them. I give my all to the relationship. But the thing is, sometimes I put more value on relationships than the other person does. That's what gets you hurt. Some relationships are meant to be seasonal. Look up Medea's Understanding Relationships youtube video and watch it. Focus more on the people who are the roots and less on those who are the leaves and branches. I'm pasting the jist of it below:
          Most people are like leaves.

          When the wind blows they go to one side of the tree and then the wind blows the other way they are on the other side. They are totally unstable. All they do is take from the tree and only give shade. When the seasons change they wither and fall off the tree. But don’t be angry with them; this is who they are. God put them in your life just for a season. Some people are like branches on the tree but watch out for them.

          They make you think they are your friends but the minute you step out, they break and leave you. Oh, but God bless those folks who are the roots.

          But find two or three people who are your roots. They are there to help you live and give stability to your life. A tree may have one thousand branches but just a few roots. Hold on to these people.
          "Be what you're looking for."

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          • Can you get more friends and widen out a bit? Maybe not take it personal if your friends have other friends?

            I think that part of maturing and having a full life is having a lot of friends. One person can't be everything. It can strain the relationship and make it bad if you force things. If you give them air and have variety, friendships can be better.

            I love my friends deeply and I'm thrilled to spend time with them, but I like a lot of alone time too. If one person was demanding too much time and energy from me, it would suffocate me a bit.
            "Those sowing seed with tears
            Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

            Comment


            • Everything Beautiful Disaster has said.

              Comment

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