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I'm in a real slump

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  • I'm in a real slump

    I've been in the dumps for weeks now. Every now and then I get depressed (once every 2-3 months) but it usually doesn't last this long. I've barely been doing any work. I'm not focused and goof off all day long. I feel super depressed about my marriage. Right now I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach. Not sure it's from the depression or feeling guilty about not working. I'm just sick of cooking and cleaning and taking care of everybody. the list of things to do never gets shorter. I feel stuck in my job and marriage. I recently even took a long weekend trip which was really nice, but didn't feel energized once I got back. I don't have any friends or family I can talk to. Last year, I tried to see a therapist, but it didn't help. I could try to find another one but that just adds to my list of things to do.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

  • #2
    Hey hey. This resonates with me because I get like this sometimes and I HATE it. Then I become obsessed with how to shake it, which really only makes it worse. The hardest part is not letting yourself become a defeatist who believes they're doomed, nothing will work, nothing will help, THE END.

    I'm a firm believer in the benefits of SamE. You can buy it at any pharmacy store. Read up on it a bit and consider it. It helped me tremendously when I was dealing with severe anxiety and depression after my boyfriends death. It DID cause me some stomach issues (gas, cramps), but it doesn't do that to everyone and at the time, the benefits outweighed the negatives.

    You're rightfully tired. You've got a LOT on your plate. You're certainly not wrong or abnormal for feeling the way that you do. How about committing to some "you" time? Say, every day, no matter what, you are going to take a 20-30 minute walk? Smell the air, enjoy the sounds, live in the moment. If the weather doesn't permit, go into a room, lock the door, turn on some music and DANCE. I'm serious. Close your eyes, make sure you're entire body is moving. Focus on the areas of your body that feel tight and rigid and let them begin to move. You need this, whether you want it right now or not.
    "Be what you're looking for."

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    • #3
      I'm sorry to hear that you have been depressed for several weeks. I know how hard it is to focus when depressed. I get depressed, too. A lot of times it is due to not having a clear direction. When my back is against the wall to get something done it is like I don't have time to be depressed. Do you have time to take a long vacation? I found that my long vacations from work adjusted my focus and allowed me to put up with the annoying aspects of work. Of course, my long vacations were spent in Southeast Asia, away from the household grind. Is that something you could swing or vacation closer to home? A weekend is not long enough to unwind. Are there some bucket list goals you could accomplish?
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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      • #4
        sorry Dream!

        have you been to your medical doctor lately?
        it's possible you may need an anti-depressant

        if your chemistry is off and you're clinically depressed, everything in your life will be under that veil of dark clouds
        see your Dr and see what he recommends
        get some blood work done, also; could be something else physical too

        come back soon and let us know how you're doing then, best to you

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        • #5
          I wish I had more time to comment.

          I've fought depression since I was probably 17 or 18. Been on meds for it before and I have decided to never go on them again. Meds don't really help the depression, they numb us to it and so many other things in life. Not my recommendation, even for short term, major depressive episodes.

          Many times, and I think it's true for you, depression stems from this sense of being overwhelmed and the helplessness that eventually sets in. What it takes to overwhelm each of us varies. We work so hard to keep things together, efforts towards progress only to get nowhere and we all have our point of just breaking.

          What we can do is go back to managing the manageable until such time that we can wind up again to resume all the other activities. Choose each day what you want to accomplish and then rest. Prioritize your goals for home and work. Do nothing more until you get better. Use the other time to rest.

          I agree, if you can take a short vacation and use that time to reprioritize your life then do it.

          You and I have discussed before the marital issues. As long as there's no progress on this issue, this will be a recurring theme for depression episodes.

          What can you change about the job? Anything?

          I really think that a look at what you can manage, or change in your situation will help. There must be something that can be improved. Find it and then do it, and let that be some inspiration. Let it be a small thing even. Just a seed of improvement will reinstate that power and inspire you to keep trying.

          Wish I could elaborate more on what I mean... But I hope this helps.
          Last edited by atskitty2; 09-14-2017, 05:00 PM. Reason: Reinstall: Reinstate

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          • #6
            Dream
            stress takes toll on you and also you could be deficient in anything like B12, iron, etc
            so wouldn't hurt to see Dr and get bloodwork done

            is it possible to quit your job and seek out the type of job you really want to do?

            why are you still doing so much cooking and cleaning?

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            • #7


              DreamP346
              have you spoken to your whole family all together yet?
              to ask for some cooperation re house
              Last edited by amy40; 09-12-2017, 04:56 AM.

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              • #8
                this is also time of year a lot of people start getting depressed
                as the daylight hours go down

                so I would not hesitate to go to a medical Dr, Dream
                would hate for you to get worse

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                • #9
                  I second Beautiful Disaster's post. Make "me" time every day. Go for a walk in the fresh air once a day. Try to get as much sunlight as you can. Some sort of mood boosting medication will help. But if you're already on medication check with your doctor about taking a supplement. Eat energy boosting foods, too. I know this advice is little comfort but it will help. If you're still down in the dumps after taking our advice, then I would see your doctor. It could just be chemical. I hope you feel better soon.

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                  • #10
                    Whenever I feel in the dumps I take a walk (usually before bed) and I feel a ton better. I don't know if it's the exercise, fresh air, or just clearing my mind, but 9 times out of 10 I feel much more upbeat afterwards.

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                    • #11
                      How are you doing? Been thinking about you.
                      I've been traveling the last week so when I get back home, I will try to get a few more thoughts out to you, clarify some of the above .

                      You are a strong lady, you're smart and you will find a solution for this. I hope it's one that is directed toward longer term management than just this episode.

                      I have a feeling that you're like me, not a big fan of hugging random people, but here's a hug. Cuz ya need it dear

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                      • #12
                        I still don't have a chunk of time, but just to add: As I've thought more...
                        Your depressive episodes are lasting longer? Honestly, that you're experiencing this every 2-3 months is a troubling thought. That's a LOT! Do you realize that? If you're spending a month, every 2-3 months being in this depressive mentation, you're spending maybe close to half your life this way? I'm very concerned for you.
                        Do you have a history of depression? I mean, has this happened periodically through life, or just in the past few years?

                        You need real changes to happen, you need for there to be some release of the never-ending grind, the day to day hopelessness and routine you've been in for far too long.
                        SP, we can only be unhappy for SO long, before we break and start making poor choices, and things in our life start to fall apart. There's a threshold for each of us, in what we can tolerate. Please don't reach that. Get some help, do something, whatever you have to do to reverse this.

                        You and I have discussed this years ago, off camera, so to speak I respect the boundaries you have, and the things you're simply not willing to do to improve this. There has to be something that hasn't been tried. Can you honor those boundaries, at the expense of YOU, your SELF. You need to be whole.

                        Now, I seem dramatic in all that. But I'm concerned for your well-being, and your family. This is a very serious thing, and I think you are at a point that you may need an extended period of ME time, just to get yourself back together. That may not be possible, but please, please do whatever you can.

                        And I do apologize. I have so much on my mind, so many things going on that I'm struggling to shift gears and put together a really well-worded explanation and suggestions. Please keep trying counselors or see your doctor for recommendations.

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                        • #13
                          Hey everybody. Thanks for the nice words. I've been super busy and really haven't had much time. I'm doing a little better but easily find myself falling back. It's hard with everything I have to take care of and feel like I'm in this by myself. Work is really busy. Kids have so much going on. I barely have time to workout or make myself a healthy meal. But I am trying to take time for myself.
                          Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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                          • #14
                            Hello DreamP346. I know you're super-stressed but you can always ask relatives every now & then to watch your kids, so you can take some time for yourself. Just a few hours to decompress. I understand you're a busy woman, but your mental health is very important. Obviously, you realize this but I feel it is a valid point. Do keep us updated. If you do become very down, I would certainly call your doctor or do something to lift you up. Do remember: you're not alone.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by DreamP346 View Post
                              I'm doing a little better but easily find myself falling back. Kids have so much going on. .
                              Dream
                              glad you are doing a little better
                              must be so hard with more than one child; kids seem to be given so much homework


                              hoping you have more and more better days


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