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Anxiety and Sleep

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  • Anxiety and Sleep

    I'm very well-known in the town that I live in, but I haven't had a social life since I dropped out of high school in early 2015, and even then, I barely had one. A few days after I dropped out, the police were knocking on my door and constantly ringing my doorbell. I knew that they were there because of me. I was still sleeping when they arrived and I thought that if no one answered, they would stop ringing the doorbell and leave me alone. They rung the doorbell for about 5 minutes, non-stop. I was afraid they were going to knock the door down. My mom finally went to the door and answered it. When she came back in, she told me that she explained to the police that I was going to get my GED. After that, I basically just disappeared from everyone and everything going on here because I was so worried about what people thought about me dropping out. And the police coming to my door made me really paranoid. I stopped going to football/basketball games, etc. because the thought of everyone's attention being on me made me isolate myself. I was going through a lot already and I already suffered from severe social anxiety. I still live here and when I see people that I used to hang out with or even distant family members, they always ask me if I moved or if I still live here and some even tell me that they thought I moved. It's now been almost 3 years since I dropped out and I don't think that "lonely" is the word to describe my life during that time period. I regret isolating myself. But right now, I feel like it's too late to show up where people are like I haven't been MIA for years. I wish I could even go to the store without worrying about what people are thinking about me. We only have one small local grocery store in this town and a few gas stations and I barely go to those. I want to go to events and I want to connect with people, now that I'm an adult, but... I just still suffer from social anxiety. I won't be here much longer, but I can't sleep at night, knowing that I had no one to hang out with... I feel like I'm literally "hiding out", still. I just feel really alone. And I feel like people here hardly see me, but they're "wondering" about me... and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. I just feel like I stick out in some way that I don't like... and I'm alone so much that it feels like I'm in some weird world... Sometimes, I even get upset that the people I used to know never acted concerned about me... or gave me a phone call... but they see me years later and become nosy or ask about me like they were "really" wondering, so sometimes, I don't know what to think about that...

  • Have you been to a professional about your social anxiety?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • Jupiter girl
      welcome to the forum!

      social anxiety is tough
      do you have a job now?
      are you able to get out for that?

      since you are moving soon, that will give you a fresh start
      have you thought about going to a community college once you move?

      people are busy living their own lives so if no one called or checked on you, don't take that as something personal
      when we are young the world revolves around us and someone not calling is seen as "they don't care"

      when you get older, you realize everyone is juggling many things, and sometimes the other people it's all they can do to keep their own lives together
      make some goals for yourself and start working on them and things will get better

      best to you

      Comment


      • And, one step at a time. As jns suggests a professional could probably help you overcome some of your fears in the best possible way. What do you mean by saying "you won't be here much longer". This concerns me.

        You really won't know what people are thinking unless and until you get out there and really see what, if anything, they are saying. I think we sometimes over-think what other people think about us. They may have wondered when you first went off the grid. And they may wonder when you suddenly show up again, but you don't owe them any explanation that you don't want to give them.

        You've made a first step by posting here, maybe we can help you sort through some of your thoughts.
        That which we forget may as well never really happened.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by jns View Post
          Have you been to a professional about your social anxiety?
          I have, but it didn't work out well for me and I think I need to see a professional again.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Claret View Post
            And, one step at a time. As jns suggests a professional could probably help you overcome some of your fears in the best possible way. What do you mean by saying "you won't be here much longer". This concerns me.

            You really won't know what people are thinking unless and until you get out there and really see what, if anything, they are saying. I think we sometimes over-think what other people think about us. They may have wondered when you first went off the grid. And they may wonder when you suddenly show up again, but you don't owe them any explanation that you don't want to give them.

            You've made a first step by posting here, maybe we can help you sort through some of your thoughts.
            I agree that I should see a professional, and by that saying, I just mean that I am going to move out of this town. I also think that's true about other peoples thoughts.

            Comment


            • I think you should consider seeing a professional to deal with your social anxiety. If you do that, you could also consider getting your qualifications from a community college. It is scary, but if you do see a professional, it will be easier for you to handle. Being isolated is awful but you're not alone. When you move, then you can make a fresh start and regain your lost power. Social anxiety is not helped by worrying about people you went to school with. You're still young and have your whole life in front of you. There was a woman who graduated from university at 90 odd years old. If she could do it, why couldn't you get your qualifications from a community college as a young person?

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Popcorn&Candy View Post
                I think you should consider seeing a professional to deal with your social anxiety. If you do that, you could also consider getting your qualifications from a community college. It is scary, but if you do see a professional, it will be easier for you to handle. Being isolated is awful but you're not alone. When you move, then you can make a fresh start and regain your lost power. Social anxiety is not helped by worrying about people you went to school with. You're still young and have your whole life in front of you. There was a woman who graduated from university at 90 odd years old. If she could do it, why couldn't you get your qualifications from a community college as a young person?
                I do plan on going to college. And yeah, the reason I worry is ~because~ of my anxiety.

                Comment


                • Social anxiety is more common problem nowadays and often confused with shyness. Anxiety treatment helps you to look what is causing this disorder and free you to live your life.
                  Last edited by breathelifehealingcenters; 01-05-2018, 01:23 AM.

                  Comment


                  • Apart from medical help, there are many tricks and tips to ease anxiety attacks in minutes. If you too are suffering from anxiety attacks, you can try these effective tricks to kill anxiety.

                    Accept it
                    First of all, do not deny that you are anxious about something. Accept the fact that there is something bothering you, do not fight it. Fighting or resisting will only make it worst. Just sit and talk to yourself. Tell yourself that it will pass and things will change.

                    Distract yourself
                    Although it is quite a difficult task to get out of anxiety attacks but still if one successfully manages, the anxiety can ease down in minutes. If you are experiencing an anxiety attack, try walking out of that place or situation that you think has contributed to the anxiety attack. Just start watching some funny videos, take a walk, do anything that usually calms you down. Watching something funny or something that can keep you hooked is usually the best method.

                    Vent out
                    Venting out is the best technique to calm down. An outlet always helps. If you suppress your anxiety, it will only grow. Suppose you are at work and suddenly you are anxious, you cannot vent out at anyone in that situation. Call someone up, someone closer to you and vent out to them. Sometimes crying and talking are two best modes of venting out.

                    Self-care
                    It is another effective way to calm down. Go to the nearest salon; get a head and body massage, manicure/pedicure. Just close your eyes and relax. Nothing works better than a self-care regimen.
                    Last edited by riddhi; 01-17-2018, 05:20 AM.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by riddhi View Post
                      Apart from medical help, there are many tricks and tips to ease anxiety attacks in minutes. If you too are suffering from anxiety attacks, you can try these effective tricks to kill anxiety.

                      Accept it
                      First of all, do not deny that you are anxious about something. Accept the fact that there is something bothering you, do not fight it. Fighting or resisting will only make it worst. Just sit and talk to yourself. Tell yourself that it will pass and things will change.

                      Distract yourself
                      Although it is quite a difficult task to get out of anxiety attacks but still if one successfully manages, the anxiety can ease down in minutes. If you are experiencing an anxiety attack, try walking out of that place or situation that you think has contributed to the anxiety attack. Just start watching some funny videos, take a walk, do anything that usually calms you down. Watching something funny or something that can keep you hooked is usually the best method.

                      Vent out
                      Venting out is the best technique to calm down. An outlet always helps. If you suppress your anxiety, it will only grow. Suppose you are at work and suddenly you are anxious, you cannot vent out at anyone in that situation. Call someone up, someone closer to you and vent out to them. Sometimes crying and talking are two best modes of venting out.

                      Self-care
                      It is another effective way to calm down. Go to the nearest salon; get a head and body massage, manicure/pedicure. Just close your eyes and relax. Nothing works better than a self-care regimen.
                      Thanks!

                      Comment


                      • I agree with your advice, riddhi. I may use it myself. Anyhow, I hope you're OK JupiterGirl. I hope I did not come across as patronizing with my previous post. But I hope everything is working out now.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Popcorn&Candy View Post
                          I agree with your advice, riddhi. I may use it myself. Anyhow, I hope you're OK JupiterGirl. I hope I did not come across as patronizing with my previous post. But I hope everything is working out now.
                          Thank you and you didn't! Don't worry! Things have been hard for me lately, honestly.

                          Comment


                          • I love your post, Loric2014. I agree with what you've written. I am lucky I seldom have a problem with falling - and staying - asleep. I don't know why, I just sleep like the dead every night. I think wanting to fall asleep and not just thinking you have to fall asleep will help matters. If you look forward to your sleep you should find it easier to just nod off. It's like if I'm looking forward to the next day, I will find it difficult to fall asleep. The other way around, I don't. I do think these points are something to consider.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Loric2014
                              Hey. I also had trouble sleeping because of anxiety. This is a vicious circle, because anxiety can cause sleep problems, and a bad dream tends to aggravate anxiety. I have nights where I wake up, say, 3 or 4 am, and do not go back to bed for hours, because I feel agitated. I can have weeks in a row without serious sleep disorders, but it all depends on my levels of anxiety and other factors, such as if I were doing enough overall activity during the day.

                              Disabling the technology at least 30 minutes before the bed is useful, since the blue light emitted by the screens and tablets of computers has been biologically proven to interfere with the production of melatonin in the body. Melatonin is a hormone that is associated with the regulation of sleep. Reading scenes from a book I've already read can help me relax. If I'm reading a new book, I stayed a few hours later than expected, because I wanted to see what happened next! That's why I do not start new books in bed or read hangers!

                              It is also useful to use the tasks and problems associated with the next day. When things are written down, thoughts are less likely to spread and overwhelm you. I'm worried about forgetting things. For this reason, I always have a small list of things I need to do or remember. My diary serves a similar purpose throughout the day. Limit caffeine after 5 pm is useful. If you drink tea, low-fat versions or herbal teas can be consumed at night.

                              Getting used to a nap can perpetuate nighttime sleep difficulties, so keep this in mind. Exercise at night can also complicate the complication for biological reasons. I find that the dimming of light in the bedroom is gradually helping me prepare for bed. Having a warm shower before going to bed can help with rest. I like to lie in bed feeling clean. This can be part of what some call "sleep hygiene." The inclusion of soothing music can promote relaxation in bed.

                              If you have not received professional support for concern, this is also worth considering. It is very useful to start with a doctor (GP).

                              I hope that what I said was useful
                              Great post! Thank you!

                              Comment

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