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Please help me to make the right choice!!!!

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  • Please help me to make the right choice!!!!

    Hi! I quite understand that it would be better to discuss the problem I have at various fertility forums. However, I’m here and I’ve decided to write in order to get a piece of advice from you. Several words about me… I’m 32 years old. I’m not infertile, but I can’t give birth due to a very high blood pressure. Nearly all my female relatives have this problem, but I think mine is the toughest. My GP and gyny told me that getting pregnant is quite dangerous for me. They’ve advised me to find a surro mum for my baby.
    I don’t have a friend or a relative who would agree to do it for me and my husband, so we’ve decided to contact a reproductive clinic that would find a good woman for us. Several months ago we’ve contacted Biotexcom. It’s a Ukrainian clinic situated in Kiev, the capital city of Ukraine. We’ve chosen this clinic because there were loads of favorable feedbacks about in the internet. However, when we came to Kiev and visited the clinic for the first time. The things turned to be quite different.
    Firstly, we didn’t expect to find out that the clinic was so tiny. It was situated in a small private house. We visited it twice and every time it was overcrowded with people of various nationalities.
    We met loads of Chinese and Indian patients there. The atmosphere was noisy and unpleasant. The staff was constantly going forwards and backwards. It seemed that the telephone was ringing for ages and nobody wanted to answer to it…
    The clinic administrator showed us by her facial expression that she was bored to death by our question why we had to wait in the queue to meet the clinic’s representatives.
    We used to visit another Ukrainian clinic the other days, and everything was different there. It was called Nadia. Firstly, the clinic halls were empty. The administrator was friendly, and the doctor soothing. We liked the way we were treated there, but we didn’t like that the clinic’s halls were empty. To be frank, it looked like we were in a horror film, because not a single soul was there.
    We didn’t sign contracts with any clinic and went back home. Now we have to decide whether to come back to Ukraine and choose one of these clinics, or go and try to get the egg donation in other clinic or maybe another country.
    I just want to get to know your opinion about both of these clinics. If the clinic is overcrowded with the patients, but the staff is cold and unfriendly, what does this mean???
    P.S. Maybe there is someone here who has gone to Ukraine to get an egg donation program. Please share your experience with us… I need your advice because I really don’t know what to do further…

  • Hello! I'm a little confused by your post, and I'm not sure what help i could be but I'll try.<br />
    <br />
    In what country do you live? <br />
    I am puzzled as to why, if you're fertile, you're going to Ukraine for eggs? Why are you not using your own? <br />
    <br />
    I've been to Ukraine, and actually went to a hospital there. The facilities are quite primitive and the practices are very different, shall we say, than what you will find in a Westernized country. <br />
    So, i am puzzled as to why you went there. I'm not involved in fertility and i don't know what you may have been seeking there, as opposed to your own home country.

    Comment


    • Hi, I agree that my first post seems messy a little bit… I’ve failed to clarify my issue, and I’m really sorry for doing it. However, the things I need is surrogacy with a donor egg. I’m not infertile, but I have a bad heredity. I can’t carry and give birth to a child because of high blood pressure. If I get pregnant, my baby won’t survive, and I don’t want to experience this, so I guess it would be right to ask someone to carry and give birth to my child. Moreover, I have several relatives with the same problems like mine. I’m only 32, but I often use pills to get rid of headaches. I live in the USA, and NHS is rather developed here, but it’s so expensive… At present, my hubby and I can’t afford surrogacy with DE in the USA. So we need to try our luck at other countries… As for Ukraine, this country does have many problems. However, it’s a country of big contrasts. You may find loads of luxury cars in the streets of Kiev, but there are so many poor and unhappy people there… I asked the clinic’s representatives about the way they are going to treat a surro mum. They told me that everything would be ok. The clinic would pay all her expenses, including medical issues, food and accommodation. They would check her for drugs, alcohol and smoking monthly. An ultrasound check up will be done to check if everything will be ok… All these things were included in the contract between the intended parents, the clinic and a woman who’s going to be a surro mum. Neverthelss, I didn’t like the way we were received in this clinic, and decided not to sign up a contract with them.

      Comment


      • Hi, I think you should trust your gut in this question. Only you know whether to deal with them or not. I would recommend you to take into consideration the clinic’s success ratings. If they are are rather high, then it means that this clinic is an effective one and this is the thing you are looking for!!!
        P.S. I agree that Ukraine is rather contrasty. But they do have good doctors. I’m from Italy. I had some problems with my eyes the other days, and I contacted a doctor who has come from Ukraine recently. He is a real specialist, I should say!!! He understood what I had the very moment he looked at me!!! I was really surprised and consulted an Italian doctor. The result was the same, but the Italian doctor required some additional tests to be sure in his diagnosis...

        Comment


        • Hello! Naturemummie, if I were you, I would pay attention to the way the choose ladies to become surrogates. For me, it’s the most important thing. If you want to get a healthy baby, you must be sure that the surrogate is taken proper care after and is supplied with all necessary things. As far as I know, surrogate mothers get money for their services in Ukraine. I would also make sure that the surro mum gets a good money compensation for her services. She really deserves the best!!!

          Comment


          • It seems they do. At any rate, I’ve read the contract with the clinic and found several paragraphs where it’s written that the clinic takes all responsibilities for taking care of the surrogate mum. The lady who agrees to carry and give birth to the child of the intended parents will be provided with medical insurance and all medical tests. The clinic will also provide her with a comfortable apartment and food. All the delivery expenses will be paid by the clinic too. In addition, every month a surro mum should visit the clinic to pass through an ultrasound checkup, and the intended patients will get the ultrasound medical checkup results, video and photos monthly. There is also an opportunity to meet a surrogate when she will be 12 weeks pregnant.

            Comment


            • Sounds nice! As far as I know surrogacy isn’t allowed in some countries, so it’s vital to make sure that you’ll be able to leave the country with a baby and then enter your native country with a baby. I’ve read several stories in the papers when the intended parents weren’t allowed to come into their native country with their babies. Will the clinic assist you in it? And what about a language barrier? Do you know Ukrainian or Russian? Maybe, you have some close friends in Ukraine?

              Comment


              • We don’t have any relatives or friends in Ukraine, but the clinic provided us with a free of charge accommodation and meals. We lived in a comfortable three-room flat with TV, shower and modern kitchen not far from the city center during our first visit. Every morning a driver came to give us a lift to the clinic. It was really handy! When we came to Ukraine, the interpreter and the driver from the clinic were waiting for us at the airport. The interpreter was following us all the time, so we didn’t have any problems with the language. There were the things we liked very much about the clinic. As for a surrogacy program, when a surrogacy mum will give a birth to our child, a DNA test will be performed to confirm our parenthood. Then the clinic representatives will assist us in getting the birth certificate of the child where our names will be included as the child’s mum and dad. The translation of the birth certificate will be included. The clinic will provide us with a baby sitter for 4 hours a day during a daytime to give us an opportunity to visit the embassy and get all necessary papers to leave Ukraine and enter our country with a baby.

                Comment


                • Ok, but what payments? I know that clinics like to charge additional fees from their patients. Sometimes payments for additional med tests make the final sum really huge!!! I would recommend you to be cautious with this. For instance, you may ask the custom manager about this before signing up anything.
                  P.S. I know that newborn babies need much care. Sometimes you’ll need a good pediatrician to ask for help. Do you know anybody?

                  Comment


                  • According to the contract, the clinic charges only a fixed sum from their clients. I’ve asked the program manager about this and she told me that no additional fees will be charged from us. The sum is divided into several installments that should be paid in different stages of the program. When the baby is born, the clinic will present us with a special package for newborn children with a set of necessary things to take care of our baby angel. An attending doctor will visit us daily to check if everything is ok. We’ll also be able to phone an English-speaking pediatrician 24/7 a week and ask him to give us a consultation. If necessary, the doctor will come to our apartment and check the baby.

                    Comment


                    • It seems you’ve already made the decision, naturemummie. I wish you good luck in your journey. But be careful with everything. Just think twice before doing anything. If you have any doubts, it’s better to consult an attorney. It’s good that you’ve managed to clarify quite a lot of things about this clinic. Good luck dear! Xxx

                      Comment


                      • Thanks, hun! I hope everything will be ok! At least, I hope we’ll find a nice surro mom for our child and in 9 months I’ll be nursing my baby angel. It’s my biggest desire. We phoned biotexcom the previous week and they’re waiting for us. I think we should give them a second chance. At least, if everything is ok and they fix their drawbacks, we may deal with them in the future.

                        Comment


                        • Naturemummie, I wish you good luck in your journey. It’s up yo you which clinic to choose and where to go to get a donor egg. It’ll be nice if you consult an attorney before doing anything as you go to another country. Be careful with signing up a contract. Just read and pay attention to every single detail before signing up a contract. However, don’t feel nervous. If the clinic has so many favorable feedbacks and clients, it may mean that they’re rather effective. Good luck, dear! Xxx

                          Comment


                          • Hi, dear. Sorry for you having so bad experience with this clinic. I would also recommend you to check the success ratings of this clinic. If they’re ok, try to check the way they treat surro mums. I think it’s the most important thing to take into consideration. You must be sure that the woman who agrees to carry and give birth to your child will get all necessary things, including proper medical services and food. Try to find out these things and then you’ll understand what to do further.

                            Comment


                            • Hi, dear! It’s awful that they treated you like this. I don’t think respectable clinics should make their clients wait in the halls. So if you feel uncomfortable with them, it’s better to quit this clinic as soon as possible.
                              P.S. I have a close friend who also had some problems with fertility. She contacted one Spanish clinic. They had to visit the clinic at the appointed time to see the fertility specialist.

                              Comment

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