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Why we choose to keep silence about infertility

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  • Why we choose to keep silence about infertility

    Keep silent or keep talking?. There is more and more time I thinking on this topic.

    Every woman has a right to keep silence. This is our privacy. And this is my choice too.

    When you see that women around are getting pregnant - once, twice, 3 times.... And you feel like it is not for you... You feel miserable. And when you answer the questions of your friends are relatives... Why don't you have a baby? When will you have a baby? Don't you want to have a baby? You will be old soon! .... It is easier to keep silent. Sharing the problems with your infertility will only hurt.

    The only way to share it is in such groups. Here people will understand you. And the will not judge. Also, keeping a journal helps a lot. It is like your secret friend. You can share everything with your journal. Another good idea that I used is a therapist. Especially if you ttc for a while. I have been ttc for almost 3 years so far. A professional can help to overcome your depression.

    And we must continue doing what you like! Watch new TV series, do yoga, dances... It is important to have a hobby, as a regular person does. And must be sincere with your husband. Also you must be very open with your doctors - they are here to help you. These are my personal advice from my experience. If you want to keep silence as me... Take care.
    Starts
    10-30-2017
    Ends
    10-30-2017

  • I just can't speak up. For me it is the same issue. I don't feel free enough to confess that that my option is surrigacy. I know many brave girls. Those girls don't shout. But they are open. I admire them. I just don't think it is my story. Not my option.

    I feel more comfortable pretending I am the same as others. Maybe even lying to them. Just to be accepted. I know I may sound pathetic. But what can I do? I really don'r want to feel miserable under the glances of the 'real moms'. I know my baby will be mine anyway. He or she will have my blood. As well as my husband's. And blessed be the woman who agrees to carry my child. This is the choice I make. And I hope I will be ready to accept. So far I just keep silence.

    I do keep a journal. It's the thing that saves me. And holds my brocken heart together. And my DH... He is also a big help. He supports me and respects my silence. I want to be happy again for him. And for myself. And for our little angel.

    Comment


    • We are in the same boat. I am starting my treatment too. It is a very difficult time. But we will overcome them, dear! Sending you my best wishes. Take care! Did you decide on your surrogacy? Is it the only option? Yet, I think it is a good decision. Whatever makes you happy. You deserve it. We all deserve it. And really - let the women who carry children or give their eggs be blessed. What they do is a hope to many others. It is a big sacrifice. And we should honor their actions.

      Comment


      • Hello dear Lesley! Yes, my DH and I decided on surrogacy. We have been doing much of a research. Next month we are traveling to Ukrainian clinic. It is called Biotexcom, and I've read the good reviews about it. Seems they are decent.

        It is a bit scary to go abroad. Still, I think it is the best decision. I have been trying to conceive for 5 years. So I cannot stand anymore struggle. Besides, I am 45. I think young strong body is better to carry a child. And I will make everything possible to be a great mom. Let's pray for the things to go smoothly!

        Good luck to you too! I wish you a success on your TTC journey

        Comment


        • I absolutely agree with you! This is our personal space. And we don’t want anyone to poke into our matter inappropriately. We know how we feel.about how we go through such situations. This is absolutely not a bed of flowers.we are not jealous neither insecure with anyone's happiness.we are just way too disappoint with such phase of life.It is extremely tough to see your nearby companions, friends being wrapped up in their children.I am so worried I will never have kids.I guess family is one thing that you need most. I believe there would be some TTC clubs where we all could open up.discuss our TTC battles. There might be people who are on the same ground as I am on. I would never mind sharing my life on such forums as there are many who would understand and suits my personal space. Well just to make you more comfortable let me tell you I have been TTC for 2 years.These forums were new to me a few days back.by now I am used to it. I am sharing my views with people like you. Providing information where I can. Till the time I am waiting for my infertility treatment to start. You must not stop over here.you better look for treatments. If you haven't.That might help you out. Good wishes. XX

          Comment


          • It is a person's own perspective on what he or she wants. They can speak all they want and keep quite too, We as other individuals, however, need to respect their privacy. We should not pester them with questions all the time. The questions you mentioned are surely mood killers. They instantly depress you and spoil the mood. You feel like the most unlucky person.The disappointment is real and obviously, it takes time to get over with these things. The couples should take some time off for themselves. They should plan trips. Movie plans and lunch dates help too. Trying to remain happy is the key. It helps while TTC as well. The more relaxed you are, the greater the chances. These days we have so many infertility treatments too. IVF surrogacy and even adoption are now readily available at ease. The popularity has also increased. It makes it less socially awkward too. Consider all these things and your life is sorted.

            Comment


            • The reason why people keep quiet about a lot of issues, fertility being one of them, is lack of information and a sense of comfort from the listener's end. Read more about it and talk to someone who you think would be willing to at least listen if not provide a solution. In case of infertility, a good friend and a good doctor are all we need to trust enough and get help.

              Comment

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