Giving vs. Receiving

[btifulfrefly08]

I've been testing out the theory (say no to him). It did finally work with him. I told him he will not get a bj until he fingers me. And that worked like a charm lol. Now every time he wants a bj I will make him finger me at the same time. That we both get what we want.

[rcoreyus]

A lot of it depends on how important it is to him. If a BJ is something he just sort of likes, then no reason to go to a lot of effort to do it. If he really loves BJs and if he is willing to all the things you enjoy in bed, then it is worth making a serious effort. People who are missing something in bed tend to feel frustrated and resentful. Imagine if he weren't willing to do your favorite thing in bed (whatever that is).

[Allie602]

I hate giving BJ's.
And as some have said, be a woman and say no to what you don't wanna do. I have said no.
In the early stage of my relationship, were we were still getting to know each other in the bedroom.
One night he opted towards a bj, and I simply told him, Sorry but i just can't give them, and they are not my thing at all.
I have tried them before, but on 2 out of 4 occasions I was physically sick :/
One that night when I had told him they wern't my thing, he felt bad and said he felt like a c**t for asking.

Am I the only woman who really hates giving them or has been physically sick from trying to?

You are hardly unusual many women either won'i do them, or only with some guys or stop after bad experiences. Your bf sounds so sweet i'd make sure to let him know he did not do anything wrong. You don't want to shut him down in telling you what he needs/wants. You can always compromise and make adjustments to keep each other happy. But that won't happen if either party feels bad about expressing desires. Not saying you did this.

I also would not rule making oral or bj part of your sex life. I was adamant that I would never give one again after some bad experiences. With my current bf, I have slowly felt more comfortable. Surprised the out of me but it really depends on the man, the relationship and the way he makes you feel. My bf never asked me to do one - I made it clear to him before we began our relationship that I had bad experiences and found them repulsive. From my experience, from talking to friends and non friends - the women who give bj won't give them in all relationships.

If you are interested in trying oral at some point, you don't have to start out by doing the whole act but you can start out just putting the head in your mouth for a min and then increase the time slowly till you are comfortable. Then when you feel comfortable, pay attention to other parts. I won't be too graphic but you work your way along and stop at the point you feel comfortable. If it's the thought of having cum in your mouth that makes you sick or having it shoved down your trought just know that you don't have to do any of that. You can use your mouth in combination with your hands.

If you decide to try let him known what you would like to do so he knows you are working on it but also let him know that you may never be able to do a full bj. It would be frustrating if it didn't happen as he expected. It's important to be consistent, if it going to be part of foreplay and not to completion, or just mouth and hands for a short time let him know. Communicate so he knows what to expect or not expect.

[Agony_Aunt]

I hate giving BJ's.
And as some have said, be a woman and say no to what you don't wanna do. I have said no.
In the early stage of my relationship, were we were still getting to know each other in the bedroom.
One night he opted towards a bj, and I simply told him, Sorry but i just can't give them, and they are not my thing at all.
I have tried them before, but on 2 out of 4 occasions I was physically sick :/
One that night when I had told him they wern't my thing, he felt bad and said he felt like a c**t for asking.

Am I the only woman who really hates giving them or has been physically sick from trying to?

[Texinator]

And don't we all know it. I vote Tex for moderator-ship.

I know no moderation when it comes to the licketation

[jns]

Tex, it sounds like you are going to be booked solid soon. Maybe you can go on the speaking circuit, with demonstrations, of course.

[Allie602]

Imagine how much that used to frustrate me until I just decided to give up on porn entirely!

Tex hearts the lickety licks!

Tex is a very cheeky man!

[purplehaze]

Tex, you crack me up!! can I get "2 tickets 2 paradise" Sorry I don't want to appear greedy. I need some OJT from your CEV.
Haze

[Texinator]

At Clitical Thinking, I'll be discussing and demonstrating my CEV system:

Communication - every woman has different preferences, and those preferences may even change from session to session, so find out what she likes and do it
Enthusiasm - even the best skills won't do much good if you act like you're about to fall asleep, so act like this is what you were born to do and you can't get enough
Variety - an encore can be appreciated but don't make the tongue in and tongue out the same day in and day out, so change things up a bit and surprise her

This is the road to paradise.

[ManINeedACoffee]

Brilliant. I love it.