[Chloe1]

My husband recently revealed his smoking fetish fantasy. This was a bit of a shock coming from him, he is a health nut! He doesn't smoke, eats right, drinks very little and I always thought he was a big anti-smoker. I'm the same as him, I have never been a smoker, I run, bike, do yoga...

I can tell this was difficult for him to admit and that it has been on his mind for a while. Clearly, he doesn't enjoy having this fetish but he is for some reason really turned on by the sighting of women smoking cigarettes, especially social smokers who are not real smokers, who do it for the thrill of doing something "bad".

He explained that he would prefer not having this fetish but he can't ignore it and it has become a burden which is why he wanted to share this with me. He said he didn't want me to smoke or anything but he wanted to know my thoughts.

Although I was surprized by his revelation, I must say I was glad he was honest and felt he could share this with me without being afraid of being judged. I tried to be supportive and understanding and told him I would think about what we can do about this.

I have researched the topic as much as I can and came the conclusion that I will be supportive and try help him live with this fantasy. I will try to pretend I smoke by using unlit cigarettes during sex and play and will offer to smoke for real maybe once a month on special occasions.

I feel that refusing to fulfil his fantasy will push him towards pornography (or other women!) and deprive him of a fully satisfying sexual life and beside, I am kind of exited about being able to fulfil his fantasy. I think it will help our sex life. I will try to have fun with it which is what sexual fantasy are all about. I have no intention to smoke regularly and I know my husband wouldn't let me anyway.

Does anyone have a similar experience to share? I'm I doing the wrong thing?

[Patti-here]

I don't see anything wrong with doing it if you think it'll spice up your sex life, just don't start to inhale the smoke, it can become a nasty habit that in the long run is very bad for your health, I'd suggest you try electronic cigarettes..

Have fun with it.

[Chloe1]

Thanks for the tips. He did mention that he is not into the e-cigs... I agree it is a really nasty habit but I'm not too worried about the health aspect, smoking a cigarette once in a while won't kill me and there is no chance I would smoke for other reasons than pleasing him during sex, it wouldn't fit the kind of person I am. I have tried smoking a cigarette for fun at a party a couple of times years ago and didn't really liked it so I am not afraid of getting addicted. The important aspect for me is to show my husband I am ready to do this to improve our sex life and intimacy. I would expect the same thing from him.

[Something_Awesome]

I think its awesome that you didn't judge him, is supportive of him for having, and will even try to help him live given the barriers this fetish has (like your good health). I bet he's found your response to his admission really hot. I know when my GF responds positively to a difficult admission I have, it turns me on.

[PinkySweet]

Well its great that your trying to support his fetish.

I was going to suggest a e-cig but I saw you say hes not big into them.

[jen1447]

My advice is to just light one up once in a while and indulge him. I really doubt that having one cigarette a week or whatever will really be a hazard to you, particularly since I assume that as a non-smoker you won't be inhaling anyway. (You didn't mention any kids, so secondhand smoke won't be a problem really.)

Personally I don't think smoke is sexy - it tastes bad and gives people really stale breath - but if it's his thing, great. I don't see it as particularly freakish, and I actually kind of get the appeal of a 'naughty' girl misbehaving and flouting authority. Naughty girls who disobey can be really hot. You might even try expanding on that in different ways, like verbally show him what a bad girl you are as well - use profanity that he wouldn't expect from you, be disrespectful, be indiscreet, invite him to do shocking things to you (or threaten to do them to him lol) ....all in the context of fantasy of course. You can be good again when the sex is over.

[Chloe1]

Thanks Jen for the advice and the suggestions! I don't plan to inhale, just mainly holding a lit cigarette and taking a few drags. I think it will be much more than he is expecting me to do!

We do have 2 young kids, so smoking in the house is not an option, and I don't want the house to smell like smoke. This is what makes it more challenging, we might have to rent an hotel room on our next date! We could also sneak out on the patio, our backyard is pretty private with no neighbours behind. Being outdoors might make this experience even more exciting!

Having never really smoked before I don't know what brand would be appropriate. He likes "cork" type cigarettes, not the all whites, so I wonder if there are brands that are really light but that also have a cork tip at the end like he likes...

[jen1447]

Hm, I think lights typically have the white filters. Does it really matter tho? You're not inhaling ....go get some reds and show him how bad you really are.

[Chloe1]

Thanks everyone for the advices. I spoke to my husband about it tonight and told him I wanted to try to smoke for him. He wasn't sure at first but it didn't take much convincing after I explained how I researched the topic carefully and thought this was an informed decision. I can see how excited he is! I will buy cigarettes tomorrow and give it a try! I am both nervous and excited! Wish me luck, I really hope he likes it!

[Patti-here]

Make him give you the money for the cigarettes, I think they cost like $5 a pack now.