Worried about sexual fantasies

[Baboy]

Dude,

Make up your mind, or abstain from advice. First you wrote than I'm an alarmist. Then you agreed with my advice to seek psychiatric help.

...

Baboy, you had better assess your personality. Alexander has admitted to a prior kidnapping of a girl. That's a life sentence in CA, and it could be a life w/o parole sentence. Kidnapping is an extremely serious felony. If he's committed kidnapping and gets off on torturing females, why would you supposed he hasn't fantasized about murdering a woman or women? And you call advice to the contrary sensible. Dude, you might want to book a psychiatric appointment. And I'm being helpful.

WR, I did not agree with your advice at all. I agreed with the two women who responded, and I said that I would depart from that view only if, on clarification of the OP's initial post, he added information that would cause me to depart from my initial assessment. In due course, he replied further and made clear that he was not concerned that he might inflict actual harm and his real concern was for the fact that he harbored certain fantasies at all. So my view of the matter has not changed and remains congruent with that of atskitty2 and Claret.

Nowhere do I see that the OP admitted to carrying out an actual kidnapping.

As for my need for psychiatric help, it must be that you see an equal need on the part of atskitty2 and Claret, since you think I am off my scone for agreeing with them. So the three of us are nuts, Alexander is a psychopath and you are the lone beacon of normality here. Is that it?

But, ya' know what "dude"? It's trolls like you that motivated me in the past to take a long absence from this forum. I now propose to take a longer one, perhaps permanent. Life is too short to have to deal with mental midgets like you who have huge egos and think they know what's best for everyone and to identify widespread pathology. I have not taken time to sift through the DSM-5 on my bookshelf in an effort to identify from your posts where I would assess your own mental state. I'll take a stab with narcissistic personality disorder. But I am not trained or qualified in the field. My educational and professional qualifications are in law and information science, so I'd best stick to what I know. I know I do not have the time or inclination to bandy insults with you on WHF. That can only detract from what is, for many, a valuable resource. Most of that value comes from the willingness of members like atskitty2 and Claret to give unstintingly of themselves in an effort to assist others. Unpleasant exchanges such as this only derogate from that noble purpose.

Alexander, please accept my apology for allowing the unseemly spectacle of my exchange with WR sidetrack your thread. In hindsight, I should have been content to stand aside and let the women only respond. Too late now. I am sorry.

[AlexanderTheGreat]

Dear baboy,

No it's ok, please don't apologise! Don't say that. Thank you for understanding me.

WR:

I think it is not necessary react to the nonsencial claim of you (especially how you deal with the people), because I know of myself that I'm protective of women, and maybe more than you! And maybe it's not easy to understand women, but mostly I have been understood by many women (instead of many men).

And I swear I'll be always harsh against the tyrants and psychopaths (like the names you mentioned above) who are cruel against many women! So don't worry..

[Stillness]

It's trolls like you that motivated me in the past to take a long absence from this forum. I now propose to take a longer one, perhaps permanent.

Unfortunate.

I did the same thing a couple of years ago, partly because the atmosphere had become unpleasant. When I came back there had been a sharp decline that this site never recovered from. You remember how active it was in its heyday.

Maybe the tolerance is because the mods don’t want to eliminate people that are frequenting the site? I don't know. Some people just can't get along no matter how many chances they get. I’ve been feeling like splitting again too.

[Baboy]

You remember how active it was in its heyday.
Maybe the tolerance is because the mods don’t want to eliminate people that are frequenting the site? I don't know. Some people just can't get along no matter how many chances they get. I’ve been feeling like splitting again too.

I will tune in and read now and again, but you are right, still. The place has gone downhill since its heyday and some of the core group that contributed so much have moved on. I admire greatly some who have carried on and maintained standards, including yourself, jns, atskitty2, Claret, BD, Texasred and some others who have managed not to let the troublemakers get to them and who have continued to welcome newbies, to offer sage advice and have given of themselves far more than they have received in return. I am not always able to maintain that serene equanimity of some of the stalwarts.

[atskitty2]

What made/makes this site great is us. The reason it is less great, is because, as you said, so many great folks left. Now, you two are talking about leaving?
Come on now.

[Texasred]

The alleged "kidnapping" Alex mentioned occurred when he was (quoting again) "6 or 7."
can't say that sounds like a felony - even in California.

[atskitty2]

Exactly. I don't think childhood antics are always to be taken lightly, but in the scenario Alexander describes, he let her go when she cried, which was I presume, pretty early on. That shows he has empathy. It's not the Jeffrey Dahmer-esque torturous experience that would be found alarming.

Most of us have done questionable things as kids. I certainly did. As children, we don't have all those human emotions in place just yet, but Alexander showed he had an understanding of the sadness and trauma he was causing and let her go immedidately. That to me, is not alarming.

[WaveRider]

Hi Texasred,

7 is the age in CA for which responsibility for crime can attach.

What is worrisome is the young age at which he started his bizarre fantasies that would be criminal if he acted upon them. Many, many criminals reveal symptoms of proclivity for criminality at young ages. The OP has not abandoned his thoughts, which is a huge red flag.

We all have our life experiences. Some of us have life experiences that apply to specific topics. My advice to the flesh out a poster's knowledge for validity.

[WaveRider]

Unfortunate.

I did the same thing a couple of years ago, partly because the atmosphere had become unpleasant. When I came back there had been a sharp decline that this site never recovered from. You remember how active it was in its heyday.

Maybe the tolerance is because the mods don’t want to eliminate people that are frequenting the site? I don't know. Some people just can't get along no matter how many chances they get. I’ve been feeling like splitting again too.

Stillness, the problem is posting innuendo and more accusatory comments that assail another poster's character and assume he isn't going to defend himself. When I'm unjustifiably called a racist or it's inferred from a post, I will defend myself. Hence, it's almost always the poster who cries wolf who's the instigator of acrimony. Alleging one is a racist for posting facts should justify banning the poster. You ought to expect one to defend himself. Calling me an alarmist when I detect known signals of potentially serious criminal behavior is another cheap shot at my character. Perhaps posting etiquette would eliminate acrimony.

Many, many criminals have demonstrated alarming symptoms at young ages. If you have access to presentencing reports, you'll find that most convicts began exhibiting bad acts at young ages.

Normal 8 year-old boys do not fantasize kidnapping little girls, let alone acting upon such a fantasy.

If you know normalcy, you'd be able to identify abnormal behavior.

[WaveRider]

Hi Loric2014,

There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies. Everyone has them.

Sexual fantasies should not be confused with delusions of committing serious felonies and rationalizing it as sex; e.g. your: "It is important to understand that there is no such thing as an inappropriate fantasy." If a fantasy involves kidnapping, there is an extremely serious problem. Jaycee Dugard was a monster's felonious fantasy. GHB isn't a fantasy.

In a healthy relationship that's bound by authentic friendship and trust, a woman should be able to disclose her fantasies to her boyfriend/husband and vice versa.

I knew all (maybe she held out a few) of my ex-g/f's SEXUAL fantasies. None were criminal. All were very common fantasies of women; e.g., watching & being watched, stranger sex especially with a handsome & studly black dude, two dudes, etc.