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Ever Been Super Horny But Weren't Sure Why? Let's Talk Female Libido!

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  • I only found out recently that there are women who like sex in the morning. **pause to marvel at my naivete** I thought morning sex was something dudes wanted because of waking up with an erection and not knowing what else to do about it.

    I never feel sexy in the morning, so it's not a sex time for me. But I'm fascinated to know that, as always, there are lots of other fun and varied views on it.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Wednesday L.F. View Post
      I only found out recently that there are women who like sex in the morning. ****pause to marvel at my naivete**** I thought morning sex was something dudes wanted because of waking up with an erection and not knowing what else to do about it.

      I never feel sexy in the morning, so it's not a sex time for me. But I'm fascinated to know that, as always, there are lots of other fun and varied views on it.
      I feel most horny in the late evening or early morning, when I am either falling asleep or waking up. I have heard that hormones can fluctuate at those times, and also those are the times when my mind is least occupied and thus such thoughts can creep in.

      Comment


      • So I had a little free time today to continue my ongoing sexuality research as I try to better understand myself, and I literally found a FEMALE medical expert writing a book about how women naturally have low sex drives and women with high sex drives are just a myth and are just pretending to have high sex drives to impress men and because society tells them to act that way. And as a heterosexual woman with a high sex drive who has tried to hide it her entire life just to be taken seriously and stay safe and was trying to do the exact opposite of "impress" anyone, this felt like a slap in the face. I feel like I am being told that I don't exist and my feelings aren't real. And while on a rational level I know this is all just bull********************************, it still hurts very much to know that this is what some in the medical and scientific communities believe. It makes me more hesitant about trying to talk about my experiences with medical professionals for fear that I just won't be believed.

        Also, while I am straight, what kind of message does this send to lesbian women who may have high sex drives and are not trying to impress men? They are totally left out, and this is beyond homophobic.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by FeelingWeird View Post
          So I had a little free time today to continue my ongoing sexuality research as I try to better understand myself, and I literally found a FEMALE medical expert writing a book about how women naturally have low sex drives and women with high sex drives are just a myth and are just pretending to have high sex drives to impress men and because society tells them to act that way. And as a heterosexual woman with a high sex drive who has tried to hide it her entire life just to be taken seriously and stay safe and was trying to do the exact opposite of "impress" anyone, this felt like a slap in the face. I feel like I am being told that I don't exist and my feelings aren't real. And while on a rational level I know this is all just bull******************************************************************************************** ************************************, it still hurts very much to know that this is what some in the medical and scientific communities believe. It makes me more hesitant about trying to talk about my experiences with medical professionals for fear that I just won't be believed.

          Also, while I am straight, what kind of message does this send to lesbian women who may have high sex drives and are not trying to impress men? They are totally left out, and this is beyond homophobic.
          Some people will write books on generalizations and their own particular biases. Just because someone labels themself as an expert or someone else does, doesn't mean that they know any of the answers, let alone all of them. Water off the back of a duck. Don't let the writer's opinion affect you. Just know that there are people like the writer out there in society. While I have never been with a really high sex drive woman, I have been with some that had a reasonably strong sex drive who would hint and even be direct if they felt that they weren't getting the sex that they wanted. If they were acting, they were better at acting than the actors and actresses in Hollywood.
          Last edited by jns; 06-16-2021, 09:40 AM. Reason: spelling
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          ...
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

          Comment


          • Originally posted by jns View Post

            Some people will write books on generalizations and their own particular biases. Just because someone labels themself as an exert or someone else does, doesn't mean that they know any of the answers, let alone all of them. Water off the back of a duck. Don't let the writer's opinion affect you. Just know that there are people like the writer out there in society. While I have never been with a really high sex drive woman, I have been with some that had a reasonably strong sex drive who would hint and even be direct if they felt that they weren't getting the sex that they wanted. If they were acting, they were better at acting than the actors and actresses in Hollywood.
            I mean, you are completely correct and I know this is total crap; it just concerns me because it makes me hesitate again to talk about things I probably should talk about with the people I probably should talk about them with.

            Thank you for always having positive things to add.

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            • husband once told me "all you think about is sex"
              however, believe that I'm normal, not high sex
              it's just that "he" doesn't think about sex much

              if one rarely has sex, how could one not think about what they're missing?

              Comment


              • FeelingWeird if I were you, I'd just count this as another reminder that your medical provider should be aligned with your philosophy of care. Simply don't continue care with a doctor or nurse that doesn't show you care and respect. A professional will be able to have their own opinions, and recognize that they are opinions, and still treat you as a patient that deserves to be heard, believed and treated appropriately.

                There's a lot of research out there about sex drive, male and female sexuality, etc. There's a lot of opinions, thoughts and everyone can have their ideas. Good. That's all a good thing.

                If you feel any sort of hesitation to discuss anything with a provider, for fear they will not accept your concerns, you simply need to find a new provider. It's not acceptable. And as jns says above, water off a duck's back. Who cares what someone is writing a book about? There are books written about all sorts of things. There are medical professionals with ideas and theories about all sorts of thigs. You do you. Do what's best for you, and choose a provider based on their treatment of you as an individual, whole person.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                  FeelingWeird if I were you, I'd just count this as another reminder that your medical provider should be aligned with your philosophy of care. Simply don't continue care with a doctor or nurse that doesn't show you care and respect. A professional will be able to have their own opinions, and recognize that they are opinions, and still treat you as a patient that deserves to be heard, believed and treated appropriately.

                  There's a lot of research out there about sex drive, male and female sexuality, etc. There's a lot of opinions, thoughts and everyone can have their ideas. Good. That's all a good thing.

                  If you feel any sort of hesitation to discuss anything with a provider, for fear they will not accept your concerns, you simply need to find a new provider. It's not acceptable. And as jns says above, water off a duck's back. Who cares what someone is writing a book about? There are books written about all sorts of things. There are medical professionals with ideas and theories about all sorts of thigs. You do you. Do what's best for you, and choose a provider based on their treatment of you as an individual, whole person.
                  I mean, my doctor is great, and we were able to talk about this stuff with no issues and she was very supportive. I want to talk to her more about it this year now that I am more comfortable, although last time she did say if I wanted to get deeper into this I may want to go to a sex therapist and she could refer me. But I am reluctant to talk to a complete stranger about this for fear I will get someone who is not as accepting. I knew my doctor for a few years before I brought this up and knew she was pretty chill and accepting. I just still have a lot of trauma tied up in this subject that I am working through, and I don't need setbacks. I just wish every "expert" didn't say something different. Doing a lot of my own research and just getting confused LOL.

                  Comment


                  • FeelingWeird I think generally, by design, sex therapists will be open-minded, understanding and rather liberal in their approach to discussion and dialogue on all sexual matters. Again, you can always "interview" a provider prior to seeing them for treatment.

                    Comment


                    • I have had an unusually high libido all my life (I am 53 now and past menopause 2 years now). I did suffer sexual abuse as a child and struggled with sex addiction for many, many years. I have been in recovery for said condition for over a year now. I still have a super-high libido, my poor husband struggles to keep me satisfied. He is worried that if he does not keep me satisfied, I will cheat on him. I try to assure him that he satisfies me quiet well (after a string of 5 days in a row of morning and evening sex). I am also very fit and eat a very clean diet and weight train, I sometimes wonder if this has anything to do with it as I have been fitness minded my whole life and started working out in my early 20's. Other than that, I never understood my raging libido. I still don't sometimes. Interesting, though, several months ago I began taking testosterone boosters for my weight training goals. I took them for 2 months and while my giant were worth it, it curiously made my libido tank while I was on it. I couldn't even squirt and suffered vaginal dryness. Weird. As soon as I went off them, my libido came back full force. So funny as supposedly women take t-boosters to increase their libido, only they made mine tank.
                      Also, for the record, I don't really enjoy morning sex as much as I do evening sex or middle of the night sex. But I just can't let my husbands morning reaction go and usually end up fixing his situation (when he will let me, that is haha).
                      So, my opinion on the matter is this: as long as your sexuality is not negatively interfering with your life, enjoy the libido you have. If you do not have one, you are missing out on one of the most wonderful experiences in life. Get on meds to help increase your libido, you are short changing your life if you don't.

                      Comment


                      • My brother and his girlfriend had a lot of problems regarding their sex life. First of all, she had some gynecological problems, and she could not have children. After that, my brother suffered a lot, which served as the trigger to his actual situation. Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.

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                        • When I don't see my husband for a long time, my libido is huge.

                          Comment


                          • It seems that in all the time we have been together, I have already got used to regular sex. When my husband is away on a business trip for a long time, I suffer a lot. Of course, he gave me some 18+ toys that comforted me. Moreover, I found one helpful article for all people with libido problems; if you are interested, read here. Increased or decreased libido is always wrong. It is best to see a doctor for a recommendation.
                            Last edited by jns; 10-14-2021, 11:00 PM. Reason: Outbound links are not allowed.

                            Comment


                            • My libido has been ridiculously low for a few years now (I'm blaming perimenopause at this point until my OBGYN gives me a better answer -- and I am working on getting one). The two times I was at my horniest, though, was when I was ready to conceive my youngest (so 12 years ago) -- I had no idea that sex with a goal in mind could turn me on. And the second was after I discovered an enjoyment (and a need) for BDSM in my life. Exploring kink was so excited that I wanted as much kinky sex as I could get. I'm looking forward to returning to some semblance of horny times.

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