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Is it weird that I'm addicted to giving BJs?

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  • ggep
    replied
    Totally not weird!! For me I've found that when I'm close to someone or feel very comfortable having sex with them, that's when I most like giving a blowjob. When I'm hooking up with someone I don't know that well I kind of find myself going through the motions of a blowjob but my heart isn't really in it. More like just to be polite lol. Once I'm close with someone, part of the thrill of giving head is it's almost like sensual kissing versus doing a chore when I'm not that into it. But I know tons of people that love blowjobs too!

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  • Vanessa R.
    replied
    MoJoo thank you for sharing your experience with addiction. I can't even imagine the emotional and mental toll that must have taken on you but your ability to be so self aware about it is admirable. If you don't mind my asking, in what ways did the rehab center help you? Were they focused on the sex addition/act specifically or mainly the mental/emotional aspect?

    And how is your sex life now? Do you avoid performing oral altogether or are there specific methods/approaches you use to prepare for when you are comfortable enough to do so?

    Leave a comment:


  • Kayla Lords
    replied
    I don't think it's weird to be into any form of sexual activity as long as everyone involved consents to it (I say that as someone who's into kinky stuff that looks bad if you don't have any context for what we're doing, lol). I think what's most important is recognizing that in the past you performed oral sex for reasons that had little (or nothing) to do with pleasure -- like wanting to be liked -- but that you also recognize other reasons for why you enjoy it now.

    Personally, I've gone through different phases with my enjoyment of all kinds of sex, including oral. When I was young, I gave blowjobs because I wanted the guy to like me. As I got older, I found I wanted to do it less often with partners who (ultimately, as I would figure out) were people I didn't want to be with. In my current relationship, I've had moments of loving blowjobs (especially as part of our dominance and submission relationship because I feel both powerful and submissive) but also of not wanting to do it at all (I blame lack of libido.)

    I don't think we always have to know why we like what we like, nor does it have to fit in with the stereotype of what we think others enjoy. Sure, it might be common for women not to like giving blowjobs but that's not universal -- and there are SO many reasons why people don't like providing oral that are much more complicated than we realize.

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  • MoJoo
    replied
    You are not at all alone! However, what you are describing is not an actual addiction. You seem to be able to control yourself, you actually enjoy it, and it doesn’t actively ruin your life. I actually had a bj addiction. I know it is hard to believe but it’s true. I started giving bjs in middle school. I was also desperate for validation and I was giving them out left and right. I felt like a complete ********** but it didn’t really matter to me at the time. My brain probably made a connection between oral sex, validation, and pleasure. A bit later nothing really gave me as much pleasure as giving oral sex to boys, not even sexually pleasuring myself. I became completely psychologically addicted to giving oral sex. I stopped enjoying it but couldn’t stop doing it. Thankfully, I was able to get help from this rehab center that specializes in psychological addiction.
    Last edited by jns; 09-16-2021, 01:14 PM. Reason: Outbound links are not allowed.

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  • Monique Kova
    replied
    Out of my close circle of friends, apparently I'm the only one that loves giving a blowjob to full completion from watching and feeling my husband getting aroused to having him finish in my mouth and enjoying the texture as I swallow. I can understand why a few of my friends don't share my enthusiasm. Their husbands may have been appealing to look at when they were dating, but have since given up maintaining their looks. Hygiene and diet can also be an issue for many women. Some spunk can certainly have a funk as they call it.

    As for me, sexual arousal is a phycological state of mind. If I am totally turned on by my partner (and I am), there isn't much I won't do with him. He is neatly manicured down there (all the way to his tailbone), and smells terrific. Maybe its his addiction to fruits like pineapple, but his cum is sweet and addictive. I'm also fascinated in how his penis looks when it is soft and how the head and shaft becomes engorged and rigid once aroused. I became so focused on how best to satisfy my husband to the fullest, I enlisted the help of a gay friend of mine to describe tips (watching a few gay porn movies didn't hurt either, lol).

    Thank goodness the excitement of performing oral sex is mutually exciting between my husband and I. We both love how we taste and often trade our juices back and forth after an orgasm (yes, he has no problems tasting himself nor I myself).

    The visual appeal of each other's genitals also plays a role I think. The shape, size, and overall look of his penis (soft or hard) always turns me on and I never get tired of looking at it (even when he is sleeping, lol). Fortunately I have been blessed with extra long inner labia. What I used to think of being cursed with very visible hood and lips is apparently very erotic for some men, especially my husband. All I have to do is flash my intimate parts to him and he instantly becomes aroused. From there, I am more than happy to please him and vice-versa.

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  • MoJoo
    replied
    You are not at all alone! However, what you are describing is not an actual addiction. You seem to be able to control yourself, you actually enjoy it, and it doesn’t actively ruin your life. I actually had a bj addiction. I know it is hard to believe but it’s true. I started giving bjs in middle school. I was also desperate for validation and I was giving them out left and right. I felt like a complete ***** but it didn’t really matter to me at the time. My brain probably made a connection between oral sex, validation, and pleasure. A bit later nothing really gave me as much pleasure as giving oral sex to boys, not even sexually pleasuring myself. I became completely psychologically addicted to giving oral sex. I stopped enjoying it but couldn’t stop doing it. Thankfully, I was able to resolve this issue. Although it was hard.

    Leave a comment:


  • Vanessa R.
    replied
    Wednesday L.F. Thank you for the kind words! It was definitely eye-opening to learn about women who felt some type of concern about their enjoyment with performing fellatio. Sex addiction is certainly a real condition but when it comes to giving head, it's so important to inform women that it is entirely normal and healthy to like it and not automatically be stigmatized or develop some kind of complex about it. And yes, "mouth hugs" pretty much changed my life once I learned about it, hahahahaha.

    Leave a comment:


  • Wednesday L.F.
    replied
    Vanessa Russell's article on fellatio is outstanding. I had no idea there were women who worried they were addicted to giving head. The term "mouth hugs" is going straight into my vocab!! It's delightful.

    Leave a comment:


  • Susan Sweetlove
    replied
    Hi Vanessa! It's great to hear your perspective on giving blowjobs. It's nice to find other women that share one's own feelings and experiences.

    I also find giving blowjobs to be very, very arousing. The feeling of a guy's hard penis in my mouth drives me crazy! Must be some deep primal oral urge to suck. I find myself getting very wet and turned on when I'm giving a blowjob. It's hard not to start fingering my clit with my free hand when I'm sucking a guy. I sometimes have an orgasm while I'm giving a blowjob!

    I also agree about size. A larger penis is just so visually exciting, and I love the idea of the challenge of getting it in my mouth.

    Leave a comment:


  • Vanessa R.
    replied
    Originally posted by MrMr View Post
    Is it better blowing a small or a big d**ck? Same question with hand jobs?
    I've had both ends of the spectrum and while I will say that blowing a smaller guy is "easier," it's more pleasurable for me to give a bj to someone with more to work with. And I'm not talking about Man-Dingo status, either. Average to above average to holy crap size, there's just more for me to get into with my hands and mouth.

    What I learned about myself is with a bigger guy, I can more easily deep-throat when I'm lying on my side and he is, too. Or if he's on his back and I'm bent over him. I think the angle for the lying on the side position helps me relax my throat better and I can take in more. But if we're upright and I'm on my knees, there's only so much I can handle and I feel like it isn't as satisfying for the guy because I'll gag more, which is never pleasant (at least for me). I haven't had any complaints but maybe that's just me being overanalytical, haha.

    Regardless of size, I have no problem but feel I do my best work with average to above average. When it comes to hand jobs, smaller is a lot easier on the hands and I don't know if it's just me, but it seems smaller guys tend to get off hand jobs faster compared to bigger guys...maybe because with larger, it takes more stimulation???

    Leave a comment:

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