Squirting is ruining my sex life

[Monique Kova]

I am deeply saddened by the fact you are made to feel embarrassed for such a natural and wonderous experience. Many women wish they could squirt during sex and a great deal of men are quite turned on about it. My husband thinks squirting is the holy grail of orgasms (especially during oral) and thankfully I never let him down. We both enjoy the feeling of being soaked and especially love the taste (yes he shares with me, lol).

I'm now in my fifties and sex has never been better. The "wet bed" part is merely a slight inconvenience for us and throwing down an extra layer of blankets or towels we keep nearby is a quick solution. I seriously doubt it would cause any damage to your mattress in the mean time.

I seriously hope you don't deprive yourself of having a squirting orgasm and strive to have the most powerful ones possible. Great sex is having the ability to unleash one's body and succumb to whatever it decides to do. The most bothersome part is how you got upset and he seemed to have brushed it off (that's how I read your post anyway) especially since he used enjoyed it in the past.

Only he can answer that but in the mean time, stand tall and be proud girl! If sex is not important in your life, then you may have to stick with self-pleasuring. On the other hand, if this continues to bother you, then you should both address it with a professional sooner rather than later. If you already haven't done so already, your resentment will continue to build until the emotional damage is beyond repair. I wish you luck.

[Snowy_pines]

Hi there, I am hoping I can help. I joined this site just because I have insight and want to help. I am 39 years old. I have never been a squirter, well that was until right before the pandemic hit. I had a pretty glim sex life for a decade before the pandemic started due to some health issues and as I started to put myself out there again, I also started exploring. I met a couple and we had sex and she was a squirter, first one I had ever been with (I have been with a few women in the past). And after my encounter with her it dawned on me that I likely was a squirter and this was due to the sensation I feel every time I orgasm. Since I started having sex, I have always had to work very hard to not "pee" when I came and I did and always had these amazing, mind blowing orgasms. Well, that night after we were together I went home and played with myself in my bathtub until I squirted. I relaxed all my muscles and when the sensation of me having to pee came up, instead of clenching and pushing past the "pee", I let it flow. My post orgasm bathroom breaks were always clear and forceful and way more liquid than any normal pee and I had started to wonder about that a few months prior to meeting this couple as well. So, it happened. I realized I was a squirter and while it was really fun for a few months and it drew some heavy male attention on the sex positive website I was using to meet new partners, after a while it became a chore, it made my privates feel overstimulated and like I had to pee all the time and it made my orgasms weaker, all in all, I realized I hated it. So began my mission to try and undo what I had done and it is working. I took a break from sex, even playing with myself and now when I do play with myself, I go back to trying to avoid it. This always made me feel awkward and funny and so many men tell me to relax when I am orgasming but they do not realize that to relax is to ruin my orgasm. SO, hopefully this helps. Perhaps you can learn to control it too. Just squeeze your privates when you are about to orgasm, sometimes this means I have to stop mid stimulation to gain control, but the idea is that you have control, you just have to practice. Good Luck and believe me, I am the only person I know who has control over this and I think it is because I started out controlling it. Other women and maybe yourself included, don't even feel like they have to pee when they orgasm, so I am no expert, but wanted to share what I do know. Wish you all the best!

[Kayla Lords]

I am so sorry that squirting has become a source of embarrassment for you, and that you're self-conscious about it - and want it to stop. A lot of the advice (checking with a doctor, using sex sheets - Sportsheets is another brand that makes waterproof sheets/blankets you can throw over your bedding to protect it) is something I would have said to.

As someone who often (but not always) squirts, I notice I don't do it as much when I'm not hydrated and have peed before sex. If the fluid you're describing is the thinner, waterier "gush" that most people tend to call squirting, those two things - limiting water intake just before sex and/or going to the bathroom first - could help.

That being said, I also agree with Wednesday who pointed out that the penis emits a substance that, on its own without the context of good sex, could be seen as "gross" and most of us just accept it as part of the sex experience. I don't see why your body's natural response should be any different. I hate that it's been made a source of unhappiness for you. Outside of some kind of medical condition, there's nothing unnatural about it and I hope you can find some kind of peace of mind around it.

[Depressing]

I hate it how do I stop

[Lizziezecco]

Please help as I have the same problem but I am trying to find a long term partner….. I am 52 and would love to find a partner to enjoy my life with but I squirt and though men seem to be intrigued with this when I tell them about it whilst we are dating… I have now just lost my 3rd attempt at finding love because of the mess…
All 3 men I had dated for a couple of months before we started having sex and all 3 men have finished with me for exactly the same reason…. How can I possibly try again when men say they will love it but are shocked at the intensity of it…. The throbbing of my muscles makes it impossible for a man to stay inside of me… the 3 types of liquids that come out of me makes it slippery, wet and messy???? I don’t think I can do it again… am I destined to a life alone??? This is 1000% serious and even my doctor says that I should consider myself lucky but no one understands??? I am desperate to find love and a great sex life is important to me???

[Wednesday L.F.]

That sounds difficult and frustrating, especially since your doctor isn’t helping at all.

It’s true that many men love squirting, and I’m horrified that an odds-defying 3 out of 3 men actually rejected you for this. It’s a normal bodily function that’s no more offensive than say, farting or menstruating.

But since you don’t like it, there are things you can do to mitigate it. First, invest in a sex blanket. They’re inexpensive and can protect bedclothes from the various messes sex can bring about. Second, if your partner is concerned about their own bed or sheets or whatever, have sex at your place.

Finally, I’d recommend another doctors opinion. If you’re having contractions so strong your lover can’t remain inside you, that could indicate a problem that requires a doctor’s care. Planned Parenthood will see you even if you have a regular doctor.

[jns]

Please help as I have the same problem but I am trying to find a long term partner….. I am 52 and would love to find a partner to enjoy my life with but I squirt and though men seem to be intrigued with this when I tell them about it whilst we are dating… I have now just lost my 3rd attempt at finding love because of the mess…
All 3 men I had dated for a couple of months before we started having sex and all 3 men have finished with me for exactly the same reason…. How can I possibly try again when men say they will love it but are shocked at the intensity of it…. The throbbing of my muscles makes it impossible for a man to stay inside of me… the 3 types of liquids that come out of me makes it slippery, wet and messy???? I don’t think I can do it again… am I destined to a life alone??? This is 1000% serious and even my doctor says that I should consider myself lucky but no one understands??? I am desperate to find love and a great sex life is important to me???

Welcome to to WH Interactive forums. I am pretty sure that there are men out there who would find your squirting to be very sexy. You just haven't found the right one yet. Don't give up. I know I would be interested if a lady love did that with me but I have not had personal experience. Maybe a better approach initially is to figure out how to deal with the mess. There are suggestions in the previous posts that might work.

[Glasgowgal]

I've only started squirting with my current bf. I felt quite self conscious at first but his reaction to it is amazing. It's now a huge turn on seeing how much he loves it

[Jelcee42]

Please help as I have the same problem but I am trying to find a long term partner….. I am 52 and would love to find a partner to enjoy my life with but I squirt and though men seem to be intrigued with this when I tell them about it whilst we are dating… I have now just lost my 3rd attempt at finding love because of the mess…
All 3 men I had dated for a couple of months before we started having sex and all 3 men have finished with me for exactly the same reason…. How can I possibly try again when men say they will love it but are shocked at the intensity of it…. The throbbing of my muscles makes it impossible for a man to stay inside of me… the 3 types of liquids that come out of me makes it slippery, wet and messy???? I don’t think I can do it again… am I destined to a life alone??? This is 1000% serious and even my doctor says that I should consider myself lucky but no one understands??? I am desperate to find love and a great sex life is important to me???

What’s the issue with the mess? Why have those relationships not succeeded in your love life?

[AdamFinch]

It's just a potential option if others don't work, I use urethral plugs for penis play and I'm aware some women use them too. While I can still orgasm the ejaculation stays inside. If there are times when it's really important not to ejaculate it might work? You can get ones with holes through them so that the 'flow' could be directed via a tube..