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Squirting is ruining my sex life

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  • Snowy_pines
    replied
    In response to Queenofthesea, I have first hand experience with squirting and yes for me, it absolutely feels like I have to pee. Just becasue our experiences are different does not give you the right to invalidate mine with such animosity. I came here to offer support and suggestions from my perspective with what I am dealing with if it does not relate to you then move on.

    Leave a comment:


  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by QueenOfTheSea View Post
    I understand exactly how the OP feels and I'm sorry to say but all of you saying "omg just be proud of it" or "have you spoken to a doctor?"... clearly, you have no idea what you're talking about. Your advice sounds like a skinny person telling a fat person "have you just tried eating less?" ? like, I know you mean well, but unless this is something you actually deal with yourself, I doubt you can understand how she feels.

    Sure, you think it's cool because if/when you do it, it's a once in a while thing, but when it happens EVERY TIME?? and you can't control it? It gets old real fast.

    This is something that has also been happening to me ever since I lost my virginity at 21 (I am now 42). Prior to that when I would masturbate, it did not happen. So I dunno what caused it to start.

    For the most part, the boyfriends I've had in the past have been okay with it and we quickly learned to keep towels near the bed at all times, but for me? Mentally? It sucked. Every time, I feel stressed, like I can't fully enjoy myself. I feel incredibly self-conscious in any position other than missionary because I don't want to "pee on him" or have it just go everywhere. Also, I can't be having sex on the couch or standing up or in weird places... and forget about getting head! Any time a guy gets started down there, I have to quickly tell them to move on.

    It's not about it not feeling good, or thinking he won't like it. Most guys actually do think it's really hot. But that's when it's the first time. Or first 10. After 20 years, I can understand her husband being sick of it, and I can understand the shame and hurt she felt at hearing that, because it's not something we can control. Trust me, if we could, we would 100% choose to orgasm normally. You guys really have no idea... it's such an inconvenience. Even masturbating becomes something you can't really do with any spontaneity.

    Oh and for the record, it doesn't feel like you have to pee? And drinking or not drinking beforehand does not affect it. It still happens even if I go pee just before. It still happens even if I orgasm multiple times in a row. And yes, it happens almost every single time. Often, if I'm with a new guy, I will just try not to come because I can't bear having the awkward conversation beforehand. It's such a mood killer ? it's not fun, guys. It's really not. You think it's a fun quirky thing because it's something you can do once a year as a party trick. But it's not like that with us. We have no on/off switch.

    As for those saying go to the doctor..... there is hardly even any research on the topic, do you seriously think your local obgyn or urologist is gonna be able to help?? *sigh*

    Urethral plugs is literally the only useful suggestion anyone has made on this thread and I'm off to Google that. And the blanket too, (although it doesn't solve the problem and is really expensive).

    Anyhow, it's good that at least now we have spaces to discuss this. For years, when I was younger, I was just embarrassed about this all by myself. Maybe one day it will become so normalized that we won't need to feel like this anymore. But for now, please try to be a bit more considerate...?
    QueenOfTheSea, welcome to WH Interactive Forums. I understand your frustration with medical professionals when it comes to unusual situations. I have gotten generic responses for those myself and ended up frustrated. The idea of urethral plugs intrigued me so I did a bit of searching. Ones for males were easier to find. Another type of device may be more useful. It is inserted in the outer part of the vagina and puts sideways pressure on the urethra to keep it closed. The question I have with it is "Does the blocking of flow in the urethra cause a feeling of back pressure?" Would that cause an uncomfortable feeling? That device may be useful for receiving oral sex. Best wishes on finding something that works for your situation. I can at least partially appreciate the messiness of the situation but I know it is probably worse than I think.

    Leave a comment:


  • QueenOfTheSea
    replied
    I understand exactly how the OP feels and I'm sorry to say but all of you saying "omg just be proud of it" or "have you spoken to a doctor?"... clearly, you have no idea what you're talking about. Your advice sounds like a skinny person telling a fat person "have you just tried eating less?" ? like, I know you mean well, but unless this is something you actually deal with yourself, I doubt you can understand how she feels.

    Sure, you think it's cool because if/when you do it, it's a once in a while thing, but when it happens EVERY TIME?? and you can't control it? It gets old real fast.

    This is something that has also been happening to me ever since I lost my virginity at 21 (I am now 42). Prior to that when I would masturbate, it did not happen. So I dunno what caused it to start.

    For the most part, the boyfriends I've had in the past have been okay with it and we quickly learned to keep towels near the bed at all times, but for me? Mentally? It sucked. Every time, I feel stressed, like I can't fully enjoy myself. I feel incredibly self-conscious in any position other than missionary because I don't want to "pee on him" or have it just go everywhere. Also, I can't be having sex on the couch or standing up or in weird places... and forget about getting head! Any time a guy gets started down there, I have to quickly tell them to move on.

    It's not about it not feeling good, or thinking he won't like it. Most guys actually do think it's really hot. But that's when it's the first time. Or first 10. After 20 years, I can understand her husband being sick of it, and I can understand the shame and hurt she felt at hearing that, because it's not something we can control. Trust me, if we could, we would 100% choose to orgasm normally. You guys really have no idea... it's such an inconvenience. Even masturbating becomes something you can't really do with any spontaneity.

    Oh and for the record, it doesn't feel like you have to pee? And drinking or not drinking beforehand does not affect it. It still happens even if I go pee just before. It still happens even if I orgasm multiple times in a row. And yes, it happens almost every single time. Often, if I'm with a new guy, I will just try not to come because I can't bear having the awkward conversation beforehand. It's such a mood killer ? it's not fun, guys. It's really not. You think it's a fun quirky thing because it's something you can do once a year as a party trick. But it's not like that with us. We have no on/off switch.

    As for those saying go to the doctor..... there is hardly even any research on the topic, do you seriously think your local obgyn or urologist is gonna be able to help?? *sigh*

    Urethral plugs is literally the only useful suggestion anyone has made on this thread and I'm off to Google that. And the blanket too, (although it doesn't solve the problem and is really expensive).

    Anyhow, it's good that at least now we have spaces to discuss this. For years, when I was younger, I was just embarrassed about this all by myself. Maybe one day it will become so normalized that we won't need to feel like this anymore. But for now, please try to be a bit more considerate...?

    Leave a comment:


  • jcbmv11
    replied
    I guess my reaction is similar to other people here.,,,Your lover should be understanding of your condition, especially if you've taken steps to get it under control. Maybe he has grown tired of it over the years, but that's like saying you've grown tired of cum because he's cumming more. Maybe there are some logistical headaches with dealing with a lot of fluid....so just do your best to create controls and steps to manage it. On a certain level, he needs to deal. He know what he signed up for.

    Leave a comment:


  • AdamFinch
    replied
    It's just a potential option if others don't work, I use urethral plugs for penis play and I'm aware some women use them too. While I can still orgasm the ejaculation stays inside. If there are times when it's really important not to ejaculate it might work? You can get ones with holes through them so that the 'flow' could be directed via a tube..

    Leave a comment:


  • Jelcee42
    replied
    Originally posted by Lizziezecco View Post
    Please help as I have the same problem but I am trying to find a long term partner….. I am 52 and would love to find a partner to enjoy my life with but I squirt and though men seem to be intrigued with this when I tell them about it whilst we are dating… I have now just lost my 3rd attempt at finding love because of the mess…
    All 3 men I had dated for a couple of months before we started having sex and all 3 men have finished with me for exactly the same reason…. How can I possibly try again when men say they will love it but are shocked at the intensity of it…. The throbbing of my muscles makes it impossible for a man to stay inside of me… the 3 types of liquids that come out of me makes it slippery, wet and messy???? I don’t think I can do it again… am I destined to a life alone??? This is 1000% serious and even my doctor says that I should consider myself lucky but no one understands??? I am desperate to find love and a great sex life is important to me???

    What’s the issue with the mess? Why have those relationships not succeeded in your love life?

    Leave a comment:


  • Glasgowgal
    replied
    I've only started squirting with my current bf. I felt quite self conscious at first but his reaction to it is amazing. It's now a huge turn on seeing how much he loves it

    Leave a comment:


  • Wednesday L.F.
    commented on 's reply
    That sounds difficult and frustrating, especially since your doctor isn’t helping at all.

    It’s true that many men love squirting, and I’m horrified that an odds-defying 3 out of 3 men actually rejected you for this. It’s a normal bodily function that’s no more offensive than say, farting or menstruating.

    But since you don’t like it, there are things you can do to mitigate it. First, invest in a sex blanket. They’re inexpensive and can protect bedclothes from the various messes sex can bring about. Second, if your partner is concerned about their own bed or sheets or whatever, have sex at your place.

    Finally, I’d recommend another doctors opinion. If you’re having contractions so strong your lover can’t remain inside you, that could indicate a problem that requires a doctor’s care. Planned Parenthood will see you even if you have a regular doctor.

  • jns
    replied
    Originally posted by Lizziezecco View Post
    Please help as I have the same problem but I am trying to find a long term partner….. I am 52 and would love to find a partner to enjoy my life with but I squirt and though men seem to be intrigued with this when I tell them about it whilst we are dating… I have now just lost my 3rd attempt at finding love because of the mess…
    All 3 men I had dated for a couple of months before we started having sex and all 3 men have finished with me for exactly the same reason…. How can I possibly try again when men say they will love it but are shocked at the intensity of it…. The throbbing of my muscles makes it impossible for a man to stay inside of me… the 3 types of liquids that come out of me makes it slippery, wet and messy???? I don’t think I can do it again… am I destined to a life alone??? This is 1000% serious and even my doctor says that I should consider myself lucky but no one understands??? I am desperate to find love and a great sex life is important to me???
    Welcome to to WH Interactive forums. I am pretty sure that there are men out there who would find your squirting to be very sexy. You just haven't found the right one yet. Don't give up. I know I would be interested if a lady love did that with me but I have not had personal experience. Maybe a better approach initially is to figure out how to deal with the mess. There are suggestions in the previous posts that might work.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lizziezecco
    replied
    Please help as I have the same problem but I am trying to find a long term partner….. I am 52 and would love to find a partner to enjoy my life with but I squirt and though men seem to be intrigued with this when I tell them about it whilst we are dating… I have now just lost my 3rd attempt at finding love because of the mess…
    All 3 men I had dated for a couple of months before we started having sex and all 3 men have finished with me for exactly the same reason…. How can I possibly try again when men say they will love it but are shocked at the intensity of it…. The throbbing of my muscles makes it impossible for a man to stay inside of me… the 3 types of liquids that come out of me makes it slippery, wet and messy???? I don’t think I can do it again… am I destined to a life alone??? This is 1000% serious and even my doctor says that I should consider myself lucky but no one understands??? I am desperate to find love and a great sex life is important to me???

    Leave a comment:

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