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The Submissive Husband & Dominant Wife Dynamic — Let's Talk About BDSM!

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  • The Submissive Husband & Dominant Wife Dynamic — Let's Talk About BDSM!

    When we think of “submissive” husbands, we might envision some quiet, meek guy who is excessively subservient to his wife.

    But the truth is, many men actually enjoy being submissive in the bedroom as part of BDSM sex play!

    I recently wrote about this topic for our article, “Understanding The Submissive Husband/Dominant Wife Dynamic” and you can read it here:

    https://www.womens-health.com/submis...-dominant-wife

    Are you currently or have you ever been engaged in a submissive husband relationship? If so, how do you and your partner navigate this dynamic? If not, is it something you fantasize about being part of one day? What turns you on about the idea?

  • Hi Gena! Wow, such a juicy article...I just read it and think it is excellent. I never thought of the various dimensions to this, and stuff like "slaves" being involved! WOW!

    But what is most interesting to me, is that being submissive is not a sign of WEAKNESS but one of STRENGTH, and also how much responsibility the "Dom" has for the sub in terms of respect, boundaries and caring about that person enough such that they would never violate the trust that's been instilled in them through the BDSM agreement they're both fulfilling.

    On my side, I tend to be a "Dom" in my relationships and usually meld well with women who like to be taken, dominated and yeah, a little bit roughed up too, in a consensual way of course!

    And at the same time, I have a softer side that allows affection, warmth, kindness and intimacy, and passion in a more traditional lovemaking way...so I guess I straddle both sides of the spectrum, and perhaps that is what has made me a great lover my entire life -- I can read the room, while still adhering to my instincts and what I want to do in the moment.

    Very fascinating stuff, and I'd be super curious to hear from the other forum members if they've ever had these types of fantasies or participated in this arrangement.

    Comment


    • This article is fantastic. Def gonna read it again with the hubs tonight.

      I love the focus on communication...it’s crazy how many couples think they don’t need to talk through sexual experiences when they’re trying something new. Talking and taking time to process is crucial to any sort of power-play in relationships.
      I also love the wide spectrum of activities covered. So many views on BDSM and the like are so narrow, as if it’s all about whips and leather (nothing against those, but there’s so much more).

      Comment


      • Wednesday L.F. Yes I think the focus on communication is so important for every relationship (kinky or otherwise)! My bf and I have been in an open relationship for years and people always say "Oh I couldn't do that." If it's something you can't do that's a bad sign for your relationship in my opinion. If it's something you're not into, I totally get that. But if you can't, to me that's saying you don't have enough trust and communication with your partner because that's really all it takes.

        Comment


        • I am a solo cam girl who has had 2 boyfriends. The first was very vanilla, Christian, missionary only, no experimenting. After he split I think I may have gone too far the other way. He was a fan of my cam show, and he was on every time I did a show. I don't mention him, because I know I will lose tips. ANYWAY. During sex, he has me pee on him, spit in his mouth, he has me order him to give me a "rimjob?" As it gets heated he mentions my cam show and asks things like. If you could do any of them, which one would it be. Well, there is a Russian who talks very dirty to me, and it kind of turns me on, A LOT. So as I make up what I would do to him, he get off with me. He is never resentful, or upset. So last year, our lawnboy graduated, but do to Covid, he had no prom, and he talks to me a lot. He has never had a g/f and is a virginn. On prom night, I danced with him (Yes he was 18) 4 years younger than me. I kept feeling how hard he was against my butt and thigh I tried to ignore it. He then asked "Does being close to me like this make you feel wet at all?" OMFG! I put his hand op my dress, and said " I dont know, does it?" His mouth dropped open! he was trying to use his hand to get me off I think, but it was so bad, and I felt horrible. I asked "Does being close to me make you hard?" and I grabbed him through his pants. I felt so carnal! I assisted his hand and showed him how to rub a clitoris I cum hard, and get really wet. Well he then he said "Is it ok to taste it?" He meant his finger, but I wanted him to lick it. Before thinking I jerked my panties down and sat on the couch. I exposed myself and rubbed myself, and asked him to show me his ****. He was at least 3 inches longer than my boyfriend, and thick. I spit on my hand and gripped it, and told him to eat me. He was scared to death my b/f was going to catch him, so he made it obvious. I told him I asked his boss to text when he leaves just in case. I found myself sounding like the Russian. I showed him my engagement ring, and said "you like eating a woman who is sworn to be married" MMM HMM he said. I was stroking his **** and his balls kept tightening so I would back off. "Eat it you worthless virgin, make me cum, or I'll tell him you came on to me and pinned me down to eat me out." (I'd never) I squirted and he loved it. He said he thought it was only real in porn. "guess what" I said He looked confused "You area bit bigger than my fiance, and Your **** is so hot. Lay back" His head literally popped into my mouth. My fiances gets skinnier on top. He pushed my head back, and said "Baby, I'm about to....you know" "Cum in my mouth?" I asked. He nodded. "Don't you dare! I let him rest while I peed. Then when I returned I bent over and crawled in front of him on the couch. "Cum goes in there" "Do do you got a c-condom" The look I gave him was enough I grabbed the base and guided it in.He came immediately. "I'm so sorry" he said. I felt proud He had no control. "Thats what good ***** does to a thick **** like yours." Oddly he said "thank you for letting me cum in you" I laughed and said "like you had a choice" He asked if I was on birth control and I answered "no, so what" This was 3 minutes post cumming, my fiance came in. He said hey and kissed me. I was scared he could taste him on my lips. "This is prom night boy, go get you some *****" he said to him. "I did" he said. My fiance high fived him and said "was she tight?" "YES! very, and i came in her" "Good" my fiance said as he went to swap clothes. I hope you made her cum and tell her she best not tell her man." He joked. "She does have a boyfriend, we are friends." My fiance said "for real?" "He probably has a smaller ****, plus other dudes chicks are hot. Imma grab a shower, and get mine so scidattle" "Yes, sir" he said.My fiance got in the shower, and started humming. We both laughed. "Our secret" I said "Better be" he said. I grabbed his hand and lead him into the living room. I handed him my camera and told him to take a picture of my coochie, and of him in my mouth for me to send to him. His moan made me decide to make him cum again. I slurped gagged. and in about 2 minutes I swallowed.As I opened the front door for him to leave, my fiance yelled to him "Be nice to her and she will probably do you on the side, if shes anywhere as cute as my Mini Morgs DO IT" "I will do anything she says" he yelled back. I laughed and said "you are such a bad friend!" "So, you are a cheater, and plan to do your fiance with my cum in you." "So what are you calling me, VIRGIN?": "A *****." He said...hoping that was ok. "So listen to your buddy, and use your friends girl as a side piece" "You think she would?" "*****s love big dicks. I think you got her"

          Please answer:
          1. Could he taste, or feel the fact another guy was there?
          2. Since then he has mentioned the boy seems to crush on me...is he testing me?
          3. He says he's never seen him with a girl. Maybe I should let him see/feel a ***** is he kidding?
          4. Lastly the night it happened while we were together he said. "Could you imagine what was going through his mind
          looking as hot as you do? I bet he was rock hard. Next time hes over flash him and accidentally rub against him
          Give him a good look and let me know if he's hard. Maybe you can help the poor boy cum. DOES HE KNOW?
          5. He teased me and wouldn't let me cum until I agreed to flash him, grab him, and signal so he will know to go to the store. I want you to give him head, and make him lie to me about everything. I had to say "I'm going to show that horny boy my *****, and make sure I make him hard. Then While you are at the store I will cheat and suck him off and let him finger me. I will swallow all of it and deny it." Does he REALLY WANT THAT?

          6. Should I ever mention the first time?

          He even asked me if I thought he was big. I told him I saw him hard in sweatpants once, and it looked big."Bigger than me?" he asked I said "Oh yah" before I could think, but it made him cum so hard. He kissed me hard, and said I ****in love you. I like to imagine love sucking his **** and letting him inside you. I also imagine him telling his friends. He took my phone and sent him a picture of my *****. "Now he has something to share" I'm intrigued, and confused PLEASE HELP

          Mini-Whorgan

          Comment


          • Well. I was going nuts, cause I wanted to tell him but too much time has passed, it's just weird. I looked in his phone, and the night it happened he got a text from Amber (The Neighbor) and she send a picture of his hand up my dress. He stopped there to see for himself. He told a friend, and sent a picture. Amber sent him a video later that night of her masturbating. Apparently he was turned on and when i let him eat me out, he went down on Amber.they had sex too but for far longer. The little prick neighbor sent him the picture of me sucking him off. the nest time he was over we did doggy, my fiance has the whole thing. hes been way hornier, i thought it was me. ****ed off, i asked if he had sex with Amber. He laughed and said..."thats like me asking if you did the neighbor" So I lost it..I said "Quit with the games, you know I did. It was innocent at first til I felt his **** against my butt." He said "Amber was just trying to warm me til, I had my **** out watching" i asked if he came in her, and he said he didn't plan on it until he saw him thrust and me buck back. "It was too much to take, it was hot" He told me he gave him tips like to stick his tongue in my butt. He has watched almost every time.He said its ok, he just uses Amber pretending to be him, and she is me. Is this fair, and should I be mad, happy what?

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Molliges View Post
              I am a solo cam girl who has had 2 boyfriends. The first was very vanilla, Christian, missionary only, no experimenting. After he split I think I may have gone too far the other way. He was a fan of my cam show, and he was on every time I did a show. I don't mention him, because I know I will lose tips. ANYWAY. During sex, he has me pee on him, spit in his mouth, he has me order him to give me a "rimjob?" As it gets heated he mentions my cam show and asks things like. If you could do any of them, which one would it be. Well, there is a Russian who talks very dirty to me, and it kind of turns me on, A LOT. So as I make up what I would do to him, he get off with me. He is never resentful, or upset. So last year, our lawnboy graduated, but do to Covid, he had no prom, and he talks to me a lot. He has never had a g/f and is a virginn. On prom night, I danced with him (Yes he was 18) 4 years younger than me. I kept feeling how hard he was against my butt and thigh I tried to ignore it. He then asked "Does being close to me like this make you feel wet at all?" OMFG! I put his hand op my dress, and said " I dont know, does it?" His mouth dropped open! he was trying to use his hand to get me off I think, but it was so bad, and I felt horrible. I asked "Does being close to me make you hard?" and I grabbed him through his pants. I felt so carnal! I assisted his hand and showed him how to rub a clitoris I cum hard, and get really wet. Well he then he said "Is it ok to taste it?" He meant his finger, but I wanted him to lick it. Before thinking I jerked my panties down and sat on the couch. I exposed myself and rubbed myself, and asked him to show me his ********. He was at least 3 inches longer than my boyfriend, and thick. I spit on my hand and gripped it, and told him to eat me. He was scared to death my b/f was going to catch him, so he made it obvious. I told him I asked his boss to text when he leaves just in case. I found myself sounding like the Russian. I showed him my engagement ring, and said "you like eating a woman who is sworn to be married" MMM HMM he said. I was stroking his ******** and his balls kept tightening so I would back off. "Eat it you worthless virgin, make me cum, or I'll tell him you came on to me and pinned me down to eat me out." (I'd never) I squirted and he loved it. He said he thought it was only real in porn. "guess what" I said He looked confused "You area bit bigger than my fiance, and Your ******** is so hot. Lay back" His head literally popped into my mouth. My fiances gets skinnier on top. He pushed my head back, and said "Baby, I'm about to....you know" "Cum in my mouth?" I asked. He nodded. "Don't you dare! I let him rest while I peed. Then when I returned I bent over and crawled in front of him on the couch. "Cum goes in there" "Do do you got a c-condom" The look I gave him was enough I grabbed the base and guided it in.He came immediately. "I'm so sorry" he said. I felt proud He had no control. "Thats what good ********** does to a thick ******** like yours." Oddly he said "thank you for letting me cum in you" I laughed and said "like you had a choice" He asked if I was on birth control and I answered "no, so what" This was 3 minutes post cumming, my fiance came in. He said hey and kissed me. I was scared he could taste him on my lips. "This is prom night boy, go get you some **********" he said to him. "I did" he said. My fiance high fived him and said "was she tight?" "YES! very, and i came in her" "Good" my fiance said as he went to swap clothes. I hope you made her cum and tell her she best not tell her man." He joked. "She does have a boyfriend, we are friends." My fiance said "for real?" "He probably has a smaller ********, plus other dudes chicks are hot. Imma grab a shower, and get mine so scidattle" "Yes, sir" he said.My fiance got in the shower, and started humming. We both laughed. "Our secret" I said "Better be" he said. I grabbed his hand and lead him into the living room. I handed him my camera and told him to take a picture of my coochie, and of him in my mouth for me to send to him. His moan made me decide to make him cum again. I slurped gagged. and in about 2 minutes I swallowed.As I opened the front door for him to leave, my fiance yelled to him "Be nice to her and she will probably do you on the side, if shes anywhere as cute as my Mini Morgs DO IT" "I will do anything she says" he yelled back. I laughed and said "you are such a bad friend!" "So, you are a cheater, and plan to do your fiance with my cum in you." "So what are you calling me, VIRGIN?": "A *****." He said...hoping that was ok. "So listen to your buddy, and use your friends girl as a side piece" "You think she would?" "*****s love big dicks. I think you got her"

              Please answer:
              1. Could he taste, or feel the fact another guy was there?
              2. Since then he has mentioned the boy seems to crush on me...is he testing me?
              3. He says he's never seen him with a girl. Maybe I should let him see/feel a ***** is he kidding?
              4. Lastly the night it happened while we were together he said. "Could you imagine what was going through his mind
              looking as hot as you do? I bet he was rock hard. Next time hes over flash him and accidentally rub against him
              Give him a good look and let me know if he's hard. Maybe you can help the poor boy cum. DOES HE KNOW?
              5. He teased me and wouldn't let me cum until I agreed to flash him, grab him, and signal so he will know to go to the store. I want you to give him head, and make him lie to me about everything. I had to say "I'm going to show that horny boy my *****, and make sure I make him hard. Then While you are at the store I will cheat and suck him off and let him finger me. I will swallow all of it and deny it." Does he REALLY WANT THAT?

              6. Should I ever mention the first time?

              He even asked me if I thought he was big. I told him I saw him hard in sweatpants once, and it looked big."Bigger than me?" he asked I said "Oh yah" before I could think, but it made him cum so hard. He kissed me hard, and said I ****in love you. I like to imagine love sucking his **** and letting him inside you. I also imagine him telling his friends. He took my phone and sent him a picture of my *****. "Now he has something to share" I'm intrigued, and confused PLEASE HELP

              Mini-Whorgan
              Cool story

              Comment


              • Another fantastic article, thanks for the link. We often role play to keep things spicy but the key point to remember is to respect your partner's (and own) boundaries which in our case is no physical abuse (hitting, slapping, etc.). I consider my husband to be an alfa-male so it become quite the turn-on for both of us when he becomes my submissive slave for an epic adventure in testing his own limits (or mine when the roles are reversed). My personal favourite is to tie my husband up so he feels helpless while I have my way with him.

                Our rule of thumb is basically anything goes unless one of us expressly objects in which case we stop. Mind you, that never seems to happen with us, lol. Its an excellent way for each of us to try out new fetishes.

                Comment



                • A husband’s submissive day-to-day actions may include:
                  • Doing housework like dishes and laundry
                  • Being available to drive his wife to appointments
                  • Giving her massages
                  • Buying her things
                  • Serving her food
                  • Committing to the wife’s plans without her having to ask first

                  this is my husband ^

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                    • Buying her things or letting her spend your money
                    This is strange to me...It's always been "Our money"

                    Comment

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