purity culture

[jns]

As a woman who experiences regular orgasms with my husband and with sex toys, I gotta say a lot of this is way off base.

As a man who has had a number of partners, I have seen a wide range of results, from women who don't orgasm at all to those who do fairly easily. Of course, my skills (or lack of them) have probably been part of both the failures and the successes.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Wow dude, I’m curious to know why anyone so sex negative would be hanging out here. As a woman who experiences regular orgasms with my husband and with sex toys, I gotta say a lot of this is way off base.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Does anybody think that purity culture is a form of abuse? I was raised in a southern Baptist home and grew up in purity culture. Thankfully I never fell completely other the spell, but unfortunately there was a time in my life when I thought that abstinence till marriage was the right way, and sadly I'd judged other girls in high school for being sexually active. I think this was because of the fear-instilling tactics that the pastor's wife had used during youth group. She basically told us that sex was physically exhausting and that orgasms weren't real. It wasn't till I went to college that my views completely changed.

If purity culture is anything like it was 50 years ago then yes I believe it possibly is.
If you have ever read Master's and Johnson's "Human Sexual Response" then yeah it can be associated with some very serious potential issues.

Still having said that I think most of the serious issues were resolved except for the very heavily indoctrinated religious women.

Physically exhausting? depends on the couple involved, not everybody drives fast and even if they did exercise is healthy and good for you.

The only negative is if a women is not sexually aroused.

Personally I think all women should wait till they are married before they have sex.

In this promiscuous age everything is way over sexualized. Instead of something beautiful its most likely horrible experience for most girls these days.

Go down to an S.T.D. clinic .and have a look at how many people are lining up to see doctors.

thousands upon thousands of people.

Is orgasm real yes it is but its extremely rare if you want a really powerful orgasm.

I believe orgasms come in strengths.

So yeah the church is right because most women will never experience orgasm.

Most people lack compassion, empathy, sensitivity, and are only interested in themselves.

Sadly sex has become commercialized it's a business now.

still having said that maybe just maybe if you were to find somebody that is extraordinary that is not ruined by porn then yeah sex could be a beautiful experience.

Orgasm must be amazing for a girl or a women but very few if any are fortunate enough to experience it.

The problem is most people have no idea how to make love to each other.

Orgasm died because most people are to put it bluntly stupid.

Most if not all people just follow people that are selling something.

Heard mentality means the blind follow the blind.

So you end up with issues that very rarely if ever get resolved.

The gspot is nonsense, grinding the clitoris won't produce orgasm.

Sex toys don't work it's all nonsense and just a waste of money, and time.

Sure maybe it might feel good but I have never used "toys" while making love to a partner.

Like everything in life nothing comes from nothing, nothing ever did.

Orgasm is allusive and very hard to achieve only hours of foreplay with produce an orgasm.

What man will put that much time into producing it ? Very very few if any man is willing to put the time in to achieve it.

This is why marriages fail, and women and men cheat.

People lack any real depth and emotion now and there are so many people with mummy and daddy issues which means problems with intimacy and passion.

I don't want to put you off because decent guys do still exist but i'm sure they are very hard to find and are extremely rare.

[jns]

Does anybody think that purity culture is a form of abuse? I was raised in a southern baptist home and grew up in purity culture. Thankfully I never fell completely other the spell, but unfortunately there was a time in my life when I thought that abstenance till marriage was the right way, and sadly I'd judged other girls in high school for being sexually active. I think this was because of the fear-instilling tactics that the pastor's wife had used during youth group. She basically told us that sex was physically exhausting and that orgasms weren't real. It wasn't till I went to college that my views completely changed.

I don't think it is a form of abuse but I don't think it is entirely healthy, either. I was taught abstinence until marriage also but it wasn't all religion based. Religion based morals wouldn't have worked for me because I did not believe strongly enough. Responsibility was strongly taught and I grew up at a time when birth control wasn't as easily available. Responsibility was the reason that I got a late start on having sex. Of course, people dying of AIDS (HIV) was big when I started having sex so that was somewhat of a damper.

As for the Pastor's wife, maybe for her sex was physically exhausting and she didn't have orgasms. Everyone is different so it is possible. Sometimes such things are natural and other times taught inhibitions can make things difficult.

[atskitty2]

And there are also those that are with one person only, perhaps they waited for marriage, and they harbor curiosity about sexual experiences with someone other than their spouse. Sometimes those people choose to cheat or divorce their spouse so they are free to sexually explore. It happens both ways.

[amy40]

I revised my earlier post to "sex is an expression of love"....it's also for creating children

[Claret]

Okay, let's just break this down. Sex is not to be confused with love. Sex is a mechanical act that can be performed in a variety of ways. This will just be variations of a theme. Love on the otherhand, is more of a neuro-chemical process that encompasses all the mores, nuances, thoughts, ideas and compatibility that can overcome sex. It can be more physically satisfying to have sex that is just wild abandonment but less satisfying emotionally. Conversely, you can love someone so much that the sex can be secondary.

I think if that a relationship based just on sex can be short-lived. People grow older, sex is less important and if there is nothing else to fall back on, then that relationship may be short lived. An emotional affair is just as deadly as a sexual one.

It has nothing to do with past relationships, whether or not you waited until marriage for sex, and has more to do with the individual, how mature he/she is and what the goals of a relationship are.

Just my thoughts.

[amy40]

If she has tried to teach her husband what she likes in bed and he isnot complying, then she should not have married him anyway.

husband read her detailed journal about sex with boyfriend
husband has tried to replicate it
however, husband is not boyfriend & the excitement with boyfriend doesn't translate to husband

it's bad to have that in her brain
women never forget
so it's better to wait 'til marriage & not have those memories in brain to compare with husband

[EmptyNester]

I still believe in waiting for marriage as there's something special about the first time being with your husband.....I'm teaching my kid to wait until marriage, also

recently saw a TV show of a woman that is married with 2 kids
all she can think about is former boyfriend who she had really good sex with....better than her husband....the show ended with her about to cheat on husband with former boyfriend
have to wait 'til next season to see what happens

I feel it's good not to have sexual memories interfere once one is married
if one doesn't have sex before marriage, all your memories are with husband
I like to think about the times husband & I have had sex outside or snuck in garage when child was little & sleeping....even tho we don't have sex as much as I want....I'm very happy when we do

to me sex=love & husband is only one who loved me enough to ask me to marry
why give my body to someone who doesn't love me?

So in the case of your TV show woman, she would not know what good sex is like with a man had she not had sex previous to marriage. If she has tried to teach her husband what she likes in bed and he isnot complying, then she should not have married him anyway.

[amy40]

I still believe in waiting for marriage as there's something special about the first time being with your husband.....I'm teaching my kid to wait until marriage, also

recently saw a TV show of a woman that is married with 2 kids
all she can think about is former boyfriend who she had really good sex with....better than her husband....the show ended with her about to cheat on husband with former boyfriend
have to wait 'til next season to see what happens

to me sex is an expression of love
husband is only one who loved me enough to ask me to marry
why give my body to someone who doesn't love me?