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Is masturbation more of a habbit or a routine?

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  • Is masturbation more of a habbit or a routine?

    Hiya everyone!

    **Thanks for stopping by my very first post! Before you scroll to the topic, here’s a bit about me as the author. I’m Niamh, 36, a practicing gynecologist (OB-GYN) from Ireland. I’m a bi female and have always been fascinated by the vagina which I know is no surprise given my profession. Sadly as a professional medical practioner, I can never truly express to my patients how much I adore their vaginas and how I love examining the details of their roses from every perfect fold to every moist crevis. Exploring female sexuality and anatomy is definitely a passion of mine and so when a friend described this site as being a fusion of scientific knowledge and open sexual discussion, I almost exploded with excitement! I'm open to chatting about anything, be it medical, supposedly tabboo, or just fun (and dare I say naughty!). If you fancy a chat or have any questions feel free to reach out to me, I'd love to hear from you! Now on to the good stuff!**

    So, the question of the day: Is masturbation more of a habit or a routine? This is a question that I've been asking myself since being single following my divorce three years ago. During marriage, masturbation was a rare occurence in my daily life (and that's NOT a compliment to my ex's performance in bed!) but mainly because my children were younger and I found myself busy with life to the point it hardly occured to me to dedicate a portion of my day to self love.

    Scientifically, a habbit emerges because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort and a routine is made up of structured actions to drive certain goals in one's life, be it physical, psychological or even emotional. What then is the difference and how has masturbation helped me to distinguish the two?

    Well to put it simply, I think the key difference is intentionality. Having a deeper awareness or a purpose behind engaging in an action is what drives a routine whereas a habbit, due to it's monotony, tends to lose that purpose and no longer relishes the same benefits. A routine is therefore built around your life and moulds to achieve your wider life objectives. A habbit - and not exclusively those of an addictive nature - tend to disregard this wider coherency with your life's goals and simply becomes a way of foregoing effort for short term gain.

    For a good year, masturbation has been a solid part of my daily routine to the extent that I feel a sense of comfort, peace, positive energy, and a will to accomplish things whenever I engage it. It has helped me tremendously to stay engaged with my body in a loving and caring way even beyond the pleasure. In contrast to when I was newly divorced, my relationship with masturbation was toxic. It was more a coping mechanism. I didnt respect it enough for me to actually find the healing and comfort which I was seeking at the time and which I now know it can give. Given my experiences of masrturbation in these contrasting periods of my life, I'm a strong believer that masturbation as a routine has done me wonders and I hope it can for many other women.

    I hope you found my insights interesting despite it being quite personal. I'd love to hear how you view your relationship with masturbation. Maybe my next post could be exploring my exact masturbation routine? : )

    Niamh x

  • Wow, what a great opening post. Thanks and welcome!

    Like a lot of people, I was raised with weird, guilt-trippy beliefs about masturbation being wrong. But no one could tell me what I was supposed to do with all the wild sexual feelings I (and my body, seemingly on its own) were having. Masturbation was wrong, sex was out of the question, even kissing a boy led to a zillion judgy questions that sounded more like accusation.

    In college though, I fell in with a group of friends who bought each other sex toys as gifts and openly discussed how a good lady-wank could keep us from making some terrible decisions about men.

    When my husband and I first moved in together, he worked from 10pm until morning, while I worked normal office hours. So there was much masturbation afoot, and that's when my interest in sex toys and sex tech was born. Well, that and when I became a phonesex op I learned I could write off vibrators as a business expense.

    I'm still a fan of masturbation, with my partner and solo as our desires and health directs. It's especially useful if I can't sleep. But I admit, that sometimes I don't masturbate because I'm testing a toy for WHI and it feels like work to use it.

    Comment


    • I believe people masturbate for many different reasons, but the root cause seems to be for pleasure. My wife and i have sex 2 to 3 times a week. Even still, we'll occasionally masturbate either solo or together.

      Solo for her is normally if she is in the mood during the day and I'm just not home because I'm at work. She has a few toys but normally just prefers her hand. Years ago, when we lived closer to where i worked (literally a 6 minute walk), if she was in the mood, she'd send me a text. I could go home during my lunch break, we'd have our mid-day romp, clean up, I'd grab a quick bite, then head back to work. So for like 4 years, she didn't solo masturbate, because she didn't have to. But since we moved into a bigger house that's farther away from where i work, it's no longer feasible to do so. As such, she'll usually rub one out about once a week.

      Solo for me is a bit different. My normal routine usually occurs the mornings after we've made love. I wake up at 4am. Maybe it's the smell of sex still lingering in the air or seeing her naked body laying next to me when i wake up, but there's something that triggers me. So I'll play with myself a bit before i have to head out. However, i usually don't ejaculate when i mastuebate. Not that i can't, i just prefer not to... most of the time. I rather save it to ejaculate in my wife the next time we make love. She prefers that as well.

      When we masturbate together, it's very erotic. She'll stroke me while i rub and or finger her. We can kiss, dirty talk, and use our free hand to explore each other's body. Now, we can do this as either just foreplay, or as a relatively full session. If used just as foreplay, I'll get her to cum once before we move on to the next round of activities. But if we lack the energy for a full vigorous session, we'll just keep going with masturbating each other. She'll usually cum 2 or 3 times. We'll stop just shy of me being able to penetrate and ejaculate inside of her.

      So for us, I'd say masturbation is more habitual or even ritualistic.

      Comment


      • A habit. I'm younger than the previous posters, I think, I'm 27, so I can't speak of marriage. But when I was in a relationship, we were open about masturbation. It wasn't a long relationship, so I don't know how it would turn out long term, but only partnered sex wasn't enough for me, because I could have sex everyday or a couple of times a day. Or at least that was the case some time ago, maybe now I would be too lazy for it. The curiousity wears out too. My libido didn't neccesarily decrease, but I often find myself more exhausted than willing to engage in masturbation in the evenings or mornings.

        Comment


        • Hii Niamh..glad to know you adore the beauty of vagina and enjoy exploring all aspects...I guess you would be able to do a lot in educating my wife to know how she should adore her beautiful vagina to make it a real bless...would like to connect

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Wednesday L.F. View Post
            Wow, what a great opening post. Thanks and welcome!

            Like a lot of people, I was raised with weird, guilt-trippy beliefs about masturbation being wrong. But no one could tell me what I was supposed to do with all the wild sexual feelings I (and my body, seemingly on its own) were having. Masturbation was wrong, sex was out of the question, even kissing a boy led to a zillion judgy questions that sounded more like accusation.

            In college though, I fell in with a group of friends who bought each other sex toys as gifts and openly discussed how a good lady-wank could keep us from making some terrible decisions about men.

            When my husband and I first moved in together, he worked from 10pm until morning, while I worked normal office hours. So there was much masturbation afoot, and that's when my interest in sex toys and sex tech was born. Well, that and when I became a phonesex op I learned I could write off vibrators as a business expense.

            I'm still a fan of masturbation, with my partner and solo as our desires and health directs. It's especially useful if I can't sleep. But I admit, that sometimes I don't masturbate because I'm testing a toy for WHI and it feels like work to use it.
            Dear,
            IS it bad to masturbate almost daily..?
            What is your suggestions and advice.?

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Summer View Post

              Dear,
              IS it bad to masturbate almost daily..?
              What is your suggestions and advice.?
              Summer as long as there is no negative impact or undue stress to your everyday life, then there really isn't a problem with masturbating everyday or even multiple times a day.

              Comment


              • Since I am married and we have sex regulary 1-2x week, I find that masturbation is neither habbit or a routine. Rather it is a need. I usually masturbate to augment our frequency of sex. Keep da'boys from getting backed up if ya know what I mean!

                Comment


                • Originally posted by EmptyNester View Post
                  Since I am married and we have sex regulary 1-2x week, I find that masturbation is neither habbit or a routine. Rather it is a need. I usually masturbate to augment our frequency of sex. Keep da'boys from getting backed up if ya know what I mean!
                  EmptyNester if you're mostly doing it just to augment partnered sex with your spouse, is it not possible for the two of you to increase your frequency of sex?

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Rayn View Post

                    EmptyNester if you're mostly doing it just to augment partnered sex with your spouse, is it not possible for the two of you to increase your frequency of sex?
                    2x per weeks seems about all we can find time for these days. I would gladly have sex with her vs masturbating.

                    Comment

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