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Pain during sex! Tried everything!

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  • Pain during sex! Tried everything!

    Hello!
    ive never posted on a forum before but I'm desperate. For the last 6 months I have been dealing with a painful burning/tearing sensation at the opening of my vaginal during penetrative sex. I am 22 healthy female and am pretty limited in the amount of sex I've had. My current boyfriend is the only sex partner I've had. At first sex was totally fine but after a couple months on the pill I started having pain during sex. Eventually I went to the doctor and was told I had a vaginal infection. It took 3 rounds of antibiotics to get a culture swab to come back clear. At that point I stopped the pill as my OB said it could be making me dry and more susceptible to infection. I decided to switch over to the nuvaring but gave myself a month after the pill to chill out. My boyfriend and I are semi-long distance and only had two opportunities for sex during this hormone free month and both times were fine if not pain free. I've been on the ring for a week now and tho we've only had sex once it's back to being painful. I've read a lot about it being the ring? But I realize it could be another infection. I'm running out of BC options as I've already tried multiple pills, implanon (wasn't having sex then but it gave me a cyst so buh-bye), and now the ring. also we use plenty of lube and have tried KY and a silicone lube. Those doesn't seem to help much.

    Please throw anything at me you think might help. Could the ring get better if I wait it out another 2 months (when I'm suppose to check in with my doctor)? Should I abandon hormonal birth control? Help help help!

  • #2
    I must preface by admitting, I am rather biased against hormonal methods. I think they're just generally bad for our body. I used them for years, and I wish I hadnt.

    There are other methods to try first, and save hormonal methods as a last resort. While you're learning about other methods, and trying them out, get to know and understand your body by tracking your cycle in more detail, recognize ovulation days and other hormonal changes in your body.

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    • #3
      Hi, first time posting here. I have a similar issue with you about the pain/burning after sex. It is no other caused by friction between you and your partner when you are "dry". I'm just married for a couple of months and my husband is my first sex partner too just like you and your boyfriend. But don't get me wrong, I've done my research long before I even have my first sexual activity with any man, and keep learning from online source and discussion until now. The only thing you and your boyfriend should focus is how to get you really wet and ready before intercourse. Don't just rely on lube because beside that you need to get wet, you also need to be ready. Our vaginal muscle need to expand to a certain point so that it will bring you pleasure instead of pain (the burning might be a cause of you being too tight and not wet enough), and we have to be relax enough to reach this.

      So this is a few points that I hope might help you.

      Psychologically
      Firstly, what I could suggest to you from what I experienced and learned is: This is your first experience with sex. try to understand and accept that you need time to find the best way/method that works best for you and your partner. Do not rush anything. Have a conversation about your pain with your partner and try to make him understand. I did this and it helps a lot psychologically for me as he slow down and try to help me with more fore-play before the intercourse. It helps me relax more and makes me wet faster, as anxiety during sex could make you dry. Experiment on positions, lube, sextoys, fore-play, anything that could make you more comfortable and enjoying sex more. It is definitely how you get wet enough before intercourse.

      Chemically
      Secondly: Stop any hormonal treatment you take because chemically, it is the main reason why you are so dry and got hurt during friction. Try the calendar method instead. Count your period and have sex only at certain time of the month when you are not ovulating. You can try android apps like Flo calendar to track this. I've used it and so far I could control pregnancy. One thing that could really help to not get pregnant without contraception is peeing after each intercourse if he came inside you. Yes, pee. Make sure you do this as soon as he's done. Some of the sperm would go out while you pee since you are also contracting the right muscle around your vagina. Another thing you could do is to not let him came inside you. But, unfortunately, I found that it's easier to us women to get wet at our hormone peak time, that is during ovulation time. God do created this thing to help human reproduction. So, if you could not use the calendar method, try contraception that don't use hormones instead. As for birth control pill, I suggest using Yasmin pill if it is available in your country.

      Methodically
      You and your partner both have to understand that not every woman truly enjoy penetrative sex that much especially when she doesn't get enough stimulation all over her body. Your partner have to help your body get ready for the penetration. As I cited above, you have to get really wet first and then get your vaginal muscle ready. The only way to do this is to make you really aroused and wet during fore-play. And the rest will follow.

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