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Blow job issue - I upset my wife :-(

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  • Blow job issue - I upset my wife :-(

    My darling wife very rarely gives me a blow job, so last night we were in bed just talking and she put her hand under the sheets and moves it towards my groin area, then grabbed my pen!s and stimulated it to an erection (about 20 seconds LOL). She asked if I had any flavoured condoms (she won't give me a BJ without one) and when I said yes she asked if I'd like to put one on.... I thought all my Christmases had come at once!

    So she lies across the bed on her stomach, grabs my erection and pulls it towards her mouth .... this was very uncomfortable for me, so I asked her to try and move closer to me so she doesn't have to 'pull' it towards her - I prefer it to be straight up and down..... but she couldn't get into a position that was comfortable for either of us, and when I tried to ask her try another position, she just said "Do you want a blow job or not"??? and got in a huff and stopped.

    I tried to explain that it was uncomfortable and not enjoyable for me, but she just said "well it's not enjoyable for me either"! I know she can't get on her knees in doggy position because her knees hurt sometimes....I told her I love her and tried suggesting other ways / positions for her to be able to give me a blow job that wouldn't affect her knee joints, but she just said "I'm not in the mood anymore" and turned over to go to sleep......

    I don't know what to do - I was just trying to help her and make thing easier for her, but she wasn't interested... I feel like going online and googling 'blowjob technique' and showing her how other women do it with no problems, but I know this might upset her or get her angry.... all I want is the occasional blow job... I think she gave me only 3 last year

    is there anything else I can try that won't offend her or get her upset?

  • #2
    Hi muffin70,

    Has your wife had a bad experience giving a blow job? Do you know why she doesn't like to give blow jobs?

    My g/f loves to give head. She gives me head every time we have sex, although I won't always cum in her mouth. However, she will swallow.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by WaveRider View Post
      Hi muffin70,

      Has your wife had a bad experience giving a blow job? Do you know why she doesn't like to give blow jobs?

      My g/f loves to give head. She gives me head every time we have sex, although I won't always cum in her mouth. However, she will swallow.
      Not really sure why she just doesn't like it.... she did say once that she was giving a previous partner a blow job (we've been married for 15 years) and he unexpectedly cum in her mouth. she said it was horrible and nearly made her vomit..... but she's just never been enthusiastic about blow jobs or hand jobs

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      • #4
        is your wife in perimenopause?

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        • #5
          If it's not something that she enjoys, this just gave her a good reason to give up. Lol.

          Not sure I understand how this happened, as comfort for both parties is kinda, step one, unless you're doing something that awkward or uncomfy is the par, like sex in a small car, or something like that.

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          • #6
            Hi muffin,

            Keep in mind that my g/f has been giving blow jobs since she was a sophomore in high school: I asked her why a woman would not enjoy giving blow jobs. To my surprise, she has told me that while she loves a dude's package in her mouth, she doesn't always like it. She has told me that giving blow jobs is more intimate than effing. She has had unpleasant experiences giving head. When she was just outta high school, a her then boyfriend had a long ****. When he came, he held the back of her head and shoved his **** down her throat. She said he was young, and couldn't help it. She has given dudes blow jobs when she would have rather not because they expected it. But for the most part, she loves the feel of a dude's package in her mouth, and she she becomes very horny knowing the power her mouth has over a dude.

            She told me that she has never known a woman who didn't give head, but she hasn't asked every woman she has known if they give head. (She told me many years ago that most of her friends and sorority sisters were in to anal sex.)

            My g/f was very clear about this: she would not put a dude's package into her mouth if his hygiene was poor. He had to be clean or no blow job.

            My advice would be to have a candid conversation with your wife, while enjoying a romantic dinner, about why she doesn't enjoy giving you head. My bet is she's had a bad experience with it. Another angle might be virtue. I used to date a chick when I was younger whose mother told her that only "dirty" girls did that. Her daughter went home filthy every night I took her out because she loved my package in her mouth, and she was a 100% swallower. In fact, she'd give my current g/f a run for blow job money with the race being who loves to give head most.

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            • #7
              thanks for the replies... I am also starting to wonder if my wife is pre-menopausal too as she is approaching the big five-oh.... I think she just prefers actual intercourse... and part of my problem is I can't last long. Once intercourse starts I last about 90 seconds - 2 minutes before exploding and I guess she feels if she gives me a blow job first them that will speed up my ejaculation even more?
              I know she doesn't like the taste of a mans pen!s in her mouth - hence why I always wear a flavoured condom... and other than her bad experience about 20 years ago I don't know why she doesn't like to do it
              Another part of the problem is, she is a large lady (I call it voluptuously sexy) and she gets sore knees from time to time - and the only sexual position we're been able to do is missionary or very occasionally doggy style.

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              • #8
                muffin70
                her age plus her getting in a huff makes me think she is in perimenopause which may cause her to be more moody

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                • #9
                  Good morning, amy40,

                  I do agree that menopause or perimenopause could affect a woman's sexual habits. I don't think that that's the case with muffin's wife. I think that there's an issue more deeply rooted that causes her to avoid giving head.

                  I've never had a woman put a condom on me before giving me a blow job. My g/f hates condoms. She's rarely used them & never with me. She loves the feel of dude's package in her mouth and vajayjay. I can't remember our having sex without my package in her mouth. With rare exception, she loves to give head. I've dated only one woman in my entire life who didn't give head.

                  At this stage in my life, I could take or leave head. It ain't that important to me. In fact, sex for sex's sake is not that important to me. Sex with a woman for whom I have deep feelings is.

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                  • #10
                    Please keep in mind that my sample population is small, very small, as in one. That's a small sample. However, my sample has blow job experience of many women combined. She can levitate a dude.

                    I've asked my g/f if she had ever put a condom on a dude before giving him a blow job. She had not. She has previously told me many times, especially right after we began dating, that she does not like condoms and has never liked condoms. She hasn't used one since high school. I got the hint. She has told me that she loves the feel of a bare package in her vajayjay and mouth. And yes, she does know how lucky she was. She didn't become knocked up nor did she ever contract an STD. Some people are more lucky than others. But then agin, she has told me that she learned to pay attention to cues that indicated a dude was ready to cum. If he didn't pull out, she would push him off and finish him inside of her mouth.

                    She thought about it for a few minutes and then told me that there would have to be a reason to put a condom on a dude before putting his package inside of her mouth. That reason, whatever it might be, would prevent her from giving a dude a blow job, condom or no condom.

                    My g/f does not particularly like the taste of cum. She has told me some were worse than others, and some were even more worse than bad cum. But she will swallow. She does love cum, though, when it's on her. She loves to play with it & rub it into her skin, so it would make sense that she doesn't like condoms. She has emphasized to me, though, that she wants and has always wanted the feel of bare packages in her mouth or vajayjay.

                    I oughta marry her.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by WaveRider View Post
                      I oughta marry her.
                      jump off the cliff; you only have one life to live

                      on the precipice twice and jumped both times
                      getting married/becoming a parent were very scary to me but glad took the risk

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by amy40 View Post

                        jump off the cliff; you only have one life to live

                        on the precipice twice and jumped both times
                        getting married/becoming a parent were very scary to me but glad took the risk
                        WaveRider, as much as I like Amy's advice, be certain that marriage won't change the dynamics of your relationship before taking the plunge.
                        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                        ...
                        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by jns View Post
                          WaveRider, as much as I like Amy's advice, be certain that marriage won't change the dynamics of your relationship before taking the plunge.
                          he knows marriage would change things
                          committment and all that good stuff til death do us part

                          but thinking he loves her and why not marry for love?

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by amy40 View Post

                            he knows marriage would change things
                            committment and all that good stuff til death do us part

                            but thinking he loves her and why not marry for love?
                            Love may be good for getting married, but it is not enough for the marriage to continue. And if the marriage has a chance to fail, see previous posts by WR about divorce here in CA.
                            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                            ...
                            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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                            • #15
                              Seriously? Their relationship is based on sex. As I've understood him previously, he has contemplated ending it. Doesn't sound like a good foundation for marriage to me.
                              I think he was being silly, sarcastic or smth with that comment. Have I been misunderstanding your other posts all this time WR?

                              WR, not intended to speak about you, as if you aren't in the room. . lol

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