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Why do men cheat?..

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  • #16
    Originally posted by amy40 View Post

    Texasred
    once read a post that you stayed married because of kid
    now he's in college, so why are you still "unhappily" married?
    Inertia.
    And the fact he still lives at home; if we split up, I'm not sure I'd get the ranch. Even though she has bought a house in New Orleans, in her name only...
    I dunno, maybe I'm just lazy. That, and she might be a better shot than me.

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    • #17
      see this could be about one or many reasons why she has opted to go dry, has your sex with her been fulfilling? from HER perspective?, only saying this because out of me and my female friends only about 25% of men we have been with have been able to please us fully to the extent we won't get bored of sex. I never like going this route cause it feels like im accusing you of not being good in bed, but self evaluation is very important in a relationship also, if you are literally amazing in bed (unless we have sex il take your word for it lol) then its 50-90% her end, but, if you have ANY lingering feeling that you could have gone harder or done better in the sex you USUALLY have with her, that may be the reason maybe she feels "im not getting off whats the point".

      that could be a reason. i dont know im not there to see whats happening how she reacts to your advances, how she reacted in the bedroom the times you do have sex.

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      • #18
        That's a fair question and fairly expressed. I ****think**** I'm good in bed, but who doesn't?
        On those occasions we do have sex, she always comes quickly, and usually more than once, sometimes more than twice, and on a few occasions, much more than twice. :-)
        But once she's done, we're done...
        So, she certainly seems to enjoy it, but just not at all often. And I have become a lot more direct in approaching her, since subtlety and romantic gestures don't seem to work.

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        • #19
          *waverider

          communication would be great but she doesn't like to talk about that sort of stuff. As I've said, softly approach. All types

          How many blokes do we know who have the same issue - not enough sex for whatever reason. It's absolutely rife and happens the world over

          its just one of those things isn't it. In my case, it seems she gets more pleasure from her vibrator. I get it and I understand it. So i understand it, but it still doesn't make ne feel very good at all. I feel rejected etc etc

          All I'm saying is this. If other woman are not having sex wife their partner/husband, because they can't be bothered etc, just know that he might go elsewhere

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          • #20
            My wife certainly seems to enjoy sex, on occasion, but those "occasions" are far too rare. In a surprising moment of candor, recently, she admitted to feeling a strong need, but only about every 4 weeks. (I would have guessed either (a) No need, or (b) a much longer "need interval"). On those occasions, she will orgasm very quickly from "piv" sex - in 2 minutes or less via cowgirl, in 4 or 5 minutes at the most in the missionary position, in just a very few minutes from only having her nipples sucked, and in a matter of seconds from oral. So, in less than 10 minutes she's done, ready to go to sleep if its night, or jump up and get a cup of coffee if it's morning. While I've barely gotten started... There's very little of what you might call reciprocity here.
            So, does that make me an exceptionally good lover, or is she just exceptionally responsive?
            :-)
            In summary, though: I have been fortunate enough to find other lovers for whom lovemaking is a mutual experience, one of shared giving and taking.
            - TR

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Texasred View Post
              My wife certainly seems to enjoy sex, on occasion, but those "occasions" are far too rare.
              could write that sentence only substitute wife for husband.
              we've only had sex once this year so far

              but I love him....what can I say

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              • #22
                In my opinion, I think that in general, men have a higher sex drive than woman. Sex with my previous partner was brilliant and very regular and experimental

                just a shame my wife isn't as up for it

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                • #23
                  Amy, i understand - I think. And i may have to re-evaluate and rethink things in light of recent events... But doesn't your husband think that physical intimacy is an important part of a loving relationship? I mean, it's called "lovemaking" for a reason.

                  Who knows, i disagree that men have a higher sex drive than women: i know a woman who just turned 60 who wants sex every day, would be happy with having sex multiple times a day, and has been this way her whole life! If a man told me that, I'd call him a liar, but I know that it's true for her.
                  What i can't understand is why the high sex-drive men end up with the low-sex-drive women, and vice-versa. I guess when high-sex-drive men and women find each other, those are the people you see who always seem to be smiling!
                  :-)

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Texasred View Post
                    .. But doesn't your husband think that physical intimacy is an important part of a loving relationship?
                    :-)
                    changed when we became parents and because he's such an involved parent, just less time and he's more tired
                    but he did say he might be able to leave work early one day this wk so it'll give us time before kid needs picked up at school (yeah)

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Texasred View Post
                      those are the people you see who always seem to be smiling!
                      :-)
                      the only people I see always smiling in our neighborhood are the retired couples!
                      the kids are out of the house, and they got all the free time to do whatever

                      everyone else looks way more stressed than us as they all have more kids than us

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Texasred View Post
                        . And i may have to re-evaluate and rethink things in light of recent events...
                        :-)
                        what does that mean?
                        are you and the wife getting along better?

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                        • #27
                          I do think people cheat, very often, for reasons other than sexual gratification.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by amy40 View Post

                            but he did say he might be able to leave work early one day this wk so it'll give us time before kid needs picked up at school (yeah)
                            That sounds promising! I hope you can make the most of it! :-)
                            You can be an involved parent AND be an involved spouse, you **need** to be an involved spouse.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by amy40 View Post

                              what does that mean?
                              are you and the wife getting along better?
                              It seems that we are, at least when we're at her house in New Orleans, as we are now. It may be too soon to get my hopes up, but she actually initiated sex two days ago, then again yesterday morning, then last night when I came to bed and put my arm around her, she asked me, "Would you like to go again?"
                              I'm beginning to wonder if she traded places with a twin sister I never knew about! :-)
                              I just have no idea what's caused this change - or if I'm going to wake up and find I dreamed it all! (Oh please, not one of **those** dreams!)

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
                                I do think people cheat, very often, for reasons other than sexual gratification.
                                That's true; I think it's more often the validation, the wanting to know that someone finds you attractive, desirable, sexy... It's not the sex itself, or maybe not initially, so much as it is the feeling of being wanted and the knowing that you can excite someone, please someone. Sometimes it doesn't need the act of joining your bodies - just a touch or a kiss is enough.

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