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LOOOOOW Libido, help!!

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    LOOOOOW Libido, help!!

    Hi all!
    I have been struggling with a low libido for the last 3 years now. No matter what I try, nothing helps. I will force myself to have sex to satisfy my husband and help ease his sexual frustration, but I just have the hardest time 'getting it up'.
    I eat healthy, walk every morning, and work out every day. I don't drink soda or alcohol or even caffeine.
    I just started cutting junk foods out of my life last year but I have noticed my libido is even WORSE now that I am the healthiest I have ever been.
    I have spoken with 3 different doctors about it. All 3 brushed me off. They seemed uncomfortable and less than knowledgable with the subject.

    It's getting to the point where my husband is so frustrated with me that he is taking it out on our son and I by yelling or shutting us out.

    What do I do? I need to get past this and get back to actually WANTing sex. ):

    PLEASE help!

    #2
    Originally posted by MotherOfStorms View Post
    I have spoken with 3 different doctors about it. All 3 brushed me off. !
    welcome to the forum!

    were the Drs male or female?

    Comment


      #3
      How old are you? Also, are you male or female? You say husband, and you have a child but you also say 'getting it up', so I want to be sure you're female. I think you're meaning "get it up" as a figure of speech, but I don't want to assume.

      Neither doc made any suggestions about hormonal checks?
      Were either of the docs your gyno?

      How is the relationship otherwise? And how was your sex life in general prior to your libido drop?

      Comment


        #4
        I have the same questions as the others with two additions: Do you take birth control? What is you age?

        What you're experiencing isn't uncommon, but unfortunately, gets treated as such by most doctors. A coworker of mine is going to see a hormone specialist. People swear by this doctors ability to balance and level hormones.

        "Be what you're looking for."

        Comment


          #5
          To answer all of your questions, my doctors have all been male. I am a 24-year old female.
          I was using 'getting it up' as a figure of speech lol.
          My libido has never been very high, but it has also never been this low.
          5 years ago I struggled with serious vaginal pain during sex due to psoriasis plaques down there.
          We went without sex for about 8 months during that time while I fought doctors and insurance to get it taken care of.
          (We are military....the medical we get is...well, subpar.)
          I don't take birth control. I used to but it made me a giant *****.

          So when I speak to my doctor next, I will ask about seeing a hormone specialist. I never thought of that!
          Is there anything I should ask, or any other possible referrals I can seek out?
          I really want to get back to normal.

          Thank you!

          Comment


            #6
            Are you taking any other medications to treat your psoriasis, or autoimmune condition? How are you doing with that, and your health and symptoms overall?

            I think a good evaluation and thorough hormonal workup would be good. It may be that you're naturally just less wanting than he is, since you always had a low sex drive. That's something to consider and accept if everything else is fine.

            Would you and hubs be open for counseling? I think it's time to consider that, if he's yelling and managing his frustrations in such unhealthy ways. Whatever is happening with your libido, it may be quite awhile before it improves, and that may not be a dramatic change.

            Comment


              #7
              Regarding the doctor: tell the endocrinologist the whole story, that you want your libido back, and let him or her take it from there. If they don't, find someone else. Keep in mind also that insurance is not the only way of paying for medical care: there is also cash...

              Comment


                #8

                good luck, mother of storms, hope you can find a Dr to help you that also won't charge you outrageous prices
                I was wondering if the Drs were male since they brushed you off and see they were
                hoping you will find someone to listen/help you

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi.
                  Causes of low libido could be:
                  Low testosterone –- This is the male hormone responsible for puberty transformations. Reduced amounts of this male hormone will surely bring about reduced sex drive.

                  Uncontrolled exercises -– Lack of exercises is harmful to sexual appetite. The same goes for exhaustive exercises with no rest. This includes spending long hours at work with little or no rest.

                  Drug abuse -– Some men will turn to drugs as a consolation for failed sexual performances. A consultation the drugs may prove to be but will ultimately lead to full-blown erectile dysfunction.

                  Prescription medications –- Patients taking some forms of prescription medication will find it hard to achieve steel erections or even be in the mood to have sex.

                  Depression/stress -– Stress is a major libido killer. This includes having unsettled issues in your relationship. A professional once provided an analogy; better you spend a hundred dollars with a partner at a dinner and discuss a dollar lost somewhere in your daily chores than let the same go unaddressed.

                  You can increase it with natural methods, such as:
                  Get dark chocolate
                  Dark chocolate is said to help reduce stress and anxiety levels linked to low sex drive.

                  Take fruits
                  You will not find much scientific reports linking fruits to high sexual appetite. However, the very fact that fruits promote general sexual health is good enough. Fruits such as bananas as well as avocados are a good place to start with.

                  No drugs, please
                  Abusing drugs is disastrous to your libido. For one, they kill your self-esteem. Second, they promote loss of sexual appetite especially when addictive.

                  Take some time out
                  Too much work without play…Well, it will strip all your natural drive to engage in sexual intimacies.

                  Check your relationship
                  Be a master of your relationship; not bossy though. This mostly goes for men. Remember that women care more about emotional intimacy, just as much as the physical part means much to you.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Hi there,
                    I'm having the same issue..over the last few years my libido took a dive. I'm in a healthy happy relationship so it's frustrating. Some things I've learned to look at are: hormone balance (low testosterone can be to blame), endocrine imbalance, and low dopamine (if you've taken a lot of pain killers, you can have low dopamine and there's a direct link to libido). I'm going to try taking something called l-dopa to see if it helps. Good luck! Wishing you relief..

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Stem cell therapy improves sexual function: Men with erection problems can benefit from the stem cell therapy. It helps improve sexual function, boost libido and promote a healthy lifestyle. And, it is believed that the stem cell therapy may replace Viagra in the future. This erectile dysfunction treatment, which is developed by the Danish Center for Regenerative Medicine, involves injecting stem cells in the base of the penis. The treatment was developed for guys those undergo surgery for prostate cancer. Because one of the major side-effects of prostatectomy is erectile dysfunction that is caused by damaging of blood vessels.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Charles wasn't paying attention to the fact the OP is female...

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Hi MotherofStorms,

                          My guess is hormonal imbalance. You won't know until an endocrinologist examines you.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Hi MotherofStorms,

                            I was rushed yesterday. I had planned to stop in for a quick visit.

                            Check WebMD for normal testosterone levels of women.

                            Women's hormone systems have to be the most complex system in the human body. One tiny chemical produced by hormonal glans becomes out of sync, and symptoms can be disproportionate. From what I understand, it is treatable. But it can be a long process. A friend's wife had a hysterectomy at a young age (her 30's). It took a year of trial and error to get her hormonal levels dialed in. During the process, she was a total you-know-what. It was worth it. When her levels were replaced by medicine, she became a sex-a-holic. My friend didn't want her treated for that ;-)

                            Again, I'm guessing that your lack of sex drive is hormonal.

                            My ex-g/f (we might be back on again) thought that she was a nymphomaniac when she was younger. She craved sex and couldn't get it often enough. She though that she had a mental problem. It wasn't until she was 40 that her endocrinologist diagnosed her with elevated testosterone. She refused treatment because she loved sex. She had the opposite condition. She told me that while she was in college, she have sex (if she had a b/f or FWB) many times a day and many times during each session. The silver lining is I've benefited from her hormonal imbalance because she's the best sex I've ever had.

                            One humorous story that she has told me many times and again last weekend involved her high school boyfriend. They would "study" upstairs in her bedroom with her parents downstairs. He was very afraid of her dad walking in. So she literally had to corner him. When she got naked, he couldn't resist all the while rushing to cum because he was afraid her dad would do a severe deatdown on him if he had caught them. When I picture it in my mind's eye, I always laugh. She was 15, and at that age learned the power her naked body had over boys and, later, men. Some two decades later, while both were married, he tried to hit her again. She blew him off. He's such a sissy that he wouldn't say hi to her when we saw him dining in the restaurant in which we were dining. That's why I can picture him in my mind's eye as a sissified baby.

                            Anyway, I know the effects of hormones on women, which is why I suggested that you see an endocrinologist.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Men with erection problems can benefit from the stem cell therapy. It helps improve sexual function, boost libido and promote a healthy lifestyle. And, it is believed that the stem cell therapy may replace Viagra in the future. The treatment was developed for guys those undergo surgery for prostate cancer. Because one of the major side-effects of prostatectomy is ED that is caused by damaging of blood vessels.

                              Comment

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