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Problem maintaining erection during sex?

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  • This sounds very similar to the problems me and my new boyfriend are having. he has no problem maintaining an erection during hand jobs or oral, but looses it soon after starting intercourse. He is 31 and does not take meds or have diabetes. He has gone to the dr just for this reason recently and they prescribed generic Cialis. It worked great the first time but since it hasn't, even though he takes 4-5 times more than prescribed. He obviously is stressed while having sex and has performance anxiety. I think I have made up my mind that this is all psychological, but am not sure what to do about it. I have a high sex drive so I really want to figure this issue out. The doctor upped his Cialis dosage and after reading this thread we are going to try the **** ring. I just am hoping that if he can have enough experiences that are positive he will get some confidence and stop stressing during sex.
    “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” - William Arthur Ward

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    • danceintx, consider how to make the environment less stressful during intercourse including having no expectations of the intercourse leading to climax or even continuing long. Does your bf know how to bring you to orgasm with his hands or with oral so he can satisfy you? Does he do better at some positions than others? Maybe doggy style where he is more in control? How about cowboy or reverse cowboy where he can be looking while you do most of the work? Maybe what he sees visually is part of what he uses to get to orgasm and he does not get the right input from intercourse. I agree with you that as soon as he has some confidence, many of the problems will disappear.

      Excessive doses of Cialis may lead to unwanted complications. Be cautious about that.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment


      • More does not always equal better when it comes to many things, but especially medications. Do not ever take more than the prescribed dosage of a medication like that.

        What happens if there are no handjobs or oral (including handjobs from himself...) for a while? Does that seem to help?

        It is likely mental/emotional---not medical.
        "Be what you're looking for."

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        • Yes, he knows how to bring me to orgasm with hands and oral, but that doesn't totally satisfy me. We have tried many positions and he looses erections with all. He told me he hasn't masturbated since we started dating. He agrees with me he thinks it mental too. I was wrong about the meds, it wasn't Cialis it is Viagra, and the dr. upped his dosage to 100 mg. After reading some threads we even went and got a **** ring and that didn't work.
          “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” - William Arthur Ward

          Comment


          • What is the relationship like outside the sexual component?
            What is his overall health status? Does he struggle with anxiety or depression?
            Does he regularly use pornography to climax?

            Comment

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