[inLOVE87]

My BF and I have been dating for 6 months. (Long Distance Relationship) We see each other for 1 week every 2-3 months. I knew from the beginning that he is still friends with his ex-girlfriend but I didn't mind too much. Now I am getting a little more agitated with this considering he left an email open from her and out of curiosity I read it. The email was talking about how he almost got in caught by me because he was smiling because of the email that she had sent over. I don't know if I am being too paranoid, or jealous or whatever you may call it, I just feel uneasy. His ex just got recently engaged too. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Help me out here, I don't know what to think!

[inLOVE87]

I personally think that once you are done with the relationship, most ties should be cut. My bf still talks to his ex regularly, through facebook, emails, texts, and occasional phone calls.

[rcoreyus]

I think its fine to keep in contact with your ex, but the contact should be of the sort that you wouldn't mind your SO seeing. If he is worrying about being "caught" by you, then that is a problem. If it were just discussions between friends, then it should be OK.

[PandaPaws]

I think in most cases, contact should be cut off. While it is possible, it is very rare that you can go completely platonic after having a romantic relationship, and if you're holding onto that contact, reminiscing about the past, etc., you're not fully committing to your new partner. IF that friendship is soooo important that you can't let it go, then absolutely your current partner should be fully aware of what is going on - texts, emails, phone calls, etc. if need be. Secret emails that you might "catch" him smiling at are not okay.

[ALPHA_MALE]

I think in most cases, contact should be cut off. While it is possible, it is very rare that you can go completely platonic after having a romantic relationship, and if you're holding onto that contact, reminiscing about the past, etc., you're not fully committing to your new partner. IF that friendship is soooo important that you can't let it go, then absolutely your current partner should be fully aware of what is going on - texts, emails, phone calls, etc. if need be. Secret emails that you might "catch" him smiling at are not okay.

You can have whatever friends you want. Anything less would be overly controling and no one likes that.

[inLOVE87]

I know that he is committed to me, but reading the emails just makes me feel like total . But on his defense, he does say that we fit perfectly together and he couldn't be any happier....but still, I don't feel like its right for him to talk to his ex like that.

I asked him before if he talked to her and he said yes, strictly about jobs/school and everything on a professional level. This does not seem professional.

[Brokenwings]

Personally i think all ties should be cut once an individual has a new partner. Why is there a need to speak to an ex where moments have been shared? It just causes jealousy and problems within a relationship which should be avoided.

[asiangrace]

I think its fine to keep in contact with your ex, but the contact should be of the sort that you wouldn't mind your SO seeing. If he is worrying about being "caught" by you, then that is a problem. If it were just discussions between friends, then it should be OK.

I completely agree with rcoreyus on this one. I think it is possible to keep a friendship with an ex. But if he is trying to "hide" things from you and/or putting her priority above you, then there is definitely a problem. My bf is still friends with a couple of his exes. It does not bother me because we're very open about our friendships and he's not sitting there chatting her up all night long and ignoring me.

However, if you have asked him (nicely) to limit his contact with his exes and he doesn't listen to your concerns, then that is another problem too.

You are not wrong in your feeling badly about this. Talk to him about how this makes you feel and make sure he is honest with you.

[Little_Miss_Me]

I still talk to the majority of my exs. The only I talk to on a daily basis, I'm still emotionally attached too. The others is because they were friends first and foremost. Their girlfriends do get jealous, but I try to ignore them because they have nothing to worry about. /shrug. For the most part, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[DrearyDrear]

An ex of mine is my best friend. We grew up next door to each other, dated at the end of highschool and the start of college, and though I'm not sure we were ever in love in the first place, it just faded. I guess it was more a stage of our growing up and needing a partner to experiment our romantic social skills with. I love my friend dearly as a friend and nothing more.

I'd say if she's sending around silly things or something, he could just be nervous about communicating with her at all if you are expressing open jealousy or disapproval. Or (as I do with my buddy) he could be blowing some steam or frustrations or simply using her as a sounding board, whatever was sent back made him feel better about whatever was bothering him, but he probably wouldn't be happy if you read the conversation.