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  • beebop101
    Junior Member
    • Jul 2009
    • 0

    Tell her off or let it go?

    Okay, so my boyfriend and I [he is 26 and I'm 24] have been together for almost two years. We have had a great relationship until the last few months. I ended up moving out, and we've started "over from scratch", if you will. He now lives at home due to losing his job, and I got an apartment on my own just across town [we've never lived in the same town before, as before we lived together, it was long distance].

    Well, now there is a friend of his [who has been around the duration of our relationship and longer], who is making comments here and there that are really starting to make me angry, especially because he's not doing anything about it. Things like, "you're ridiculous" to me when I tell him I love him in her presence. Or, something like, "you hated your living situation before you moved home with your parents, so being there now can't be that bad" in reference to us now living apart.

    I've asked him and I've told him to put a stop to it all and defend me and us when she says stuff like that, but he just brushes it off and doesn't react to it. I know it's best that we [or namely I] not react to her, because that's just what she wants from us [or namely me] is a reaction.

    The thing is that I stress out now that this is happening anytime they talk or get together. It's never bothered me in the past, but now that she's openly hating on me, it's making me crazy! I don't need this, especially with a new pregnancy [I just found out, I'm approximately 5 weeks along.] This is a blessing we've wanted for a while, but it did come with bad timing [now that we're restarting over from scratch], however we are planning to keep the baby, move back in together in a few months, and start the family we've wanted.

    What would you do? Continue to blow her off and let her make a fool of herself? Or put her in her place and tell her to back (edited) off. I'm a woman of my word,a nd I don't usually bite my tongue ... but it's getting more and more hard with each passing blow I hear. I'm going to explode... What would you say if you're in favor of me putting her in her place?
    Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 07-08-2009, 11:34 PM.
  • CHANDLERS WISH
    • Mar 2008
    • 22440

    I think you need to question your relationship with your man.

    It seems to me that he has confided with her over things... And, she is telling "him" to stand up for himself, by making those comments to you in-front of you and he will not stand up for you, he is taking what she is saying.

    I think when you split, he confided.

    He has no job do you work?

    Long Distance is dificult and different than living together.

    I hope your love for him is enough for this to work out for you both.

    I don't think you need to confront her, rather him and ask him, what converstations they had over the two of you and if he is staying with you only because your pregnant.

    Sorry but that is what I see.

    He may have wanted a "baby" but how much does he love you?

    He's a grown man basically 26, not a baby.. He should be standing up for those comments, if I am wrong with my thoughts.

    And, if I am, then the only other conclusion is that she can't work out how you can be "in-love" from long distance...

    She could be jealous, she could like him.

    But if you believe he really loves you and says it to you as well, and is happy when he sees you and is excited when you make contact with each other, then he needs to grow some balls.

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment

    • Joy
      Veteran Member
      • Jul 2008
      • 618

      Them have a conversation regarding your relationship is one thing in private if he needs to vent to a friend. his friend making the comments when you say "iloveyou" is immature. Its none of her business to interfer unless she is so miserable herself she has to make sabatoging comments.

      If he is confiding in his friend then she isn't being much of a friend by making unpleasant comments around you.

      Comment

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