[heryseshta]

Ok...I am a strong independent woman, I happy being single most of the time. And I find it much easier than being in a relationship. I hang out with guys more often than females. And for all of my friends I am the person that they go to when something goes wrong. For some reason though I keep on attracting guys that really want to get married and have kids complete with the white picket fence. So far all of my boyfriends have started to talk about getting married within the first month of me dating them. The one I have currently I was very careful about. He is independent, doesn't want kids, and is also very strong willed. The very opposite of what I was dating previously. He has now started talking about marriage and what kind of life we will have. It has only been about 2 months now, but one of those months he has been at sea and I still don't feel that we know each other well enough to even think about it.
So I guess what I want to know is..Is this normal? When did your boyfriends start talking about marriage? Is it completely unreasonable for me to not want to even think about it yet?

[sourpuss]

You must be a great catch!

How old are you? How old are the men you are dating? I've never had that happen to me....but then again, I'm no prize, haha.

It's perfectly normal to not want to think about it yet. Don't let anyone pressure you to be more serious than you want. If it comes up just make light of it and say something like "things are going well, so let's not get all heavy, mmmkay?"

[heryseshta]

I'm 22 and have had 4 boyfriends...And 5 guys want to marry me. I have a hard time believing I'm such a catch. Every time I say to slow down they say "ok", then a little later they mention it again. It's frustrating! Before I am even comfortable with the "L" word I get the topic of marriage sprung on me. I almost broke out in tears last time it happened.

[Mes T]

You're not being unreasonable at all, you're really young and loving life as it is... There's no need for marriage any time soon, especially with someone who you barely know, jeez! Maybe try, right from the start of your relationships, to somehow slip your opinion of marriage into a conversation so that your boyfriends know where you stand from the beginning.

I envy you, though, I wish MY boyfriend would mention something about it! But he's the type to date for like years on end without getting married, which I'm not into.

[Ashlee T.]

I don't think there's any magic length of time, but I think it's safe to say that when it "feels" too soon, it's too soon.

Infatuation lasts a while, especially when the physical connection is strong. Are you past the infatuation stage after 2 months, actually only 1 month of dating in person? I doubt it.

Some girls I know could date someone and two months later be planning their wedding and they're fine with that. I'm not fine with that. It takes longer than that for my feelings to grow strong enough to even partially CONSIDER marriage in the future.

Though my current bf didn't bring up marriage (he sort of has by now, that didn't go over well with me even now, 5 months into it), very early on in our relationship he'd mention the future. I would always just tell him "I'm not someone that moves fast, I think things are where they should be right now....I don't think we need to make things more serious than they are at this point.......Let's just go day by day".

Again, there's no magic number. But are you ready to marry this man? If not, then you're not ready to talk about marriage, plan for marriage, or even say you WANT to marry this man.

Embrace that independence girl!