[fmartin3]

I’m 27 years old and my boyfriend is 42. He has five children from his first marriage. I have one from my first marriage. The amount of children he has does bother me and it’s sometimes a cause for arguments. We’ve dated for seven years now.

I would describe my relationship with him as volatile. He is very controlling. He tells me that he has to be this way because I have a teenager’s mentality and I could lead him down the wrong path. I feel like I love him but I also know that I don’t want this mess in my life anymore. I’m just not sure how to leave. When we fight he tells me to leave... that he does not force me to stay. Then I don’t understand why I don’t leave him. Help any advice? How can I break this co-dependency?

[Guest]

well if you really want to leave, you will. sometimes we hang on and dont leave because we are afraid of not being able to make it financially, or are just plain old scared of being alone.

[stressed]

Go to your parents and tell them everything.

[PJhavinfunagain]

Pack up your child and yourself while he is at work and just leave. If you want to you will. Find a friend or family member to help or contact a local womens group. They will lead you in the right direction. Just do it.

[sourpuss]

Have you read Codependent No More? That book may really help you understand what you're doing and give you the courage to leave. You're so young, there is no reason to spend another day with this man.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Understand who you are today.

Your not the 19/20 year old, with a baby, that met ,a 35 year old, perhaps a Father figure.

Your now a grown woman who can make choices of your own.

I doubt your immature, or you wouldn't have started this thread. People, will give "it's your fault", and make you feel that what has been stated is true, not at all, it's usually their own insecurities to make you stay.

Have a little look in your crystal ball of the future and ask yourself where you want to be at 30 years of age...

Don't allow 'words" to blind you of the reality, your intuition is always correct.

CW