[KMonte85]

RDDS, from viewing your other post, I've read that you have known your boyfriend for 3 months and have met 5 times.

In my humble opinion, that is not nearly enough time to determine if you are meant to be together and would be compatible: compatible as housemates should one of you move and you live together, compatible parents...

5 times meeting is enough to tell that you really enjoy someone's company - that you might have interests in common, that you're chemistry is on point and the sex is great. But life altering decisions - marriage, children? Not enough time to decide.

I think you need to S-L-O-W D-O-W-N in this relationship - you're jumping the gun a bit only having been a couple a few months and thinking about having his child! Enjoy your time as a couple, enjoy being together, because having a child gives the relationship a whole new dynamic that's a lot less carefree and romantic. And tricking a man into having a child will make things even more complicated.

[kygirl]

You're originally from Europe, so I'd imagine getting back into living in Europe wouldn't be too horrible?? If you want to be with him, then be with him. Maybe you should visit each other a few more times and maybe weigh out the pros and cons of both locations. You're both going to have to try to see things from each other's viewpoint and make a decision together if you want to try this.

BUT, I would NOT under any circumstances try to have a baby and somehow hope he'll move. That to me is just deceitful AND it could very very easily blow up in your face and you could get what you want about the baby and the U.S. but lose him. I don't think that is what you really want. Talk to it out!!

Good luck!!

[Ashlee T.]

No. Regardless of any circumstances, regardless of how you feel, regardless of what you want, regardless of how bad you want it. No. Plain and simple.

[rcoreyus]

I afraid you have hit a sore point with me, there are few things that make me truly furious, but this is one.

Tricking someone into having a child is one of the worst things you can do to them or to the child. You are forcing a life-long responsibility onto someone - made all the worse because the more honorable of a person they are, the more likely they are to not be willing to walk away.

The child is left with a parent who despite caring for them, didn't want them, and eventually they will figure it out. Maybe the parent will eventually love their child but they will always resent all the freedom you lose when you decide to have children.

I know someone this happened to - almost 20 years later they and the child still suffer the results.

I consider this to be a crime akin to rape. Saying that they may eventually love the child is no more of an excuse than saying that a victim had an orgasm while being raped.

I assume you aren't really an evil person and just haven't really thought about the consequences. I don't blame you for the idea - many of us have poor ideas, I just beg you not to act on it.

Richard Cory

[Guest]

if you want a child that badly, tell him and see what he says. if he doesnt, you always have the option of ending the relationship and finding someone who does, or a sperm donor of some sort. tricking someone into getting you pregnant isnt fair to anyone involved, especially the child.

[Maximus]

Too early, too soon...

Based on what you describe, it's too early too soon. Especially in a LDR.
On the trickery it sounds like a last resort, even then it's the worst possible idea. Even though he never finds out, you will always know that you didn't something wrong, and not coming from Love, but from fear.

This gives another opportunity to look into this aspect.

Having walked few miles, more like flew or driven for a LDR, I know that reality always comes up, and that's when the true test of commitment begins.