[kygirl]

Fish,

I know you want someone dependable who will pay rent, etc, but have you looked into maybe moving into a place where someone is already living?? I mean, you still have time to meet up with someone people, talk to them, get a feel for who they are, etc...Heck, even get references if you want. I have a friend in Boston that did that...

OR maybe you can move into a one bedroom on a short-term lease (3-6 months) then as you get to know people in the program, you could move in with someone the remainder of your time there??

Good luck! I know that is quite a dilemia!

[sourpuss]

I think your boyfriend needs to step back and look at the big picture. You're much better off financially to make this move. It's safer than living alone and it's much safer than answering a room for rent ad in the paper. If you were my girlfriend, I'd be happy knowing that you'll be in a safer situation than just moving to some strange town alone.

If there isn't trust issues on his end, then he shouldn't have a problem with it.

[Fish]

he needs to trust your judgment.

Good point for sure.

Pretzel, we've been long distance since last August, but only 5 hours away as opposed to the 21 hours that will be when he moves...so we've kind of gotten the hang of dealing with the distance, if that is even possible. But I don't think fear is the problem, but hey, who knows.

Also, I'm planning on moving out to be with him when I'm done with my degree next year, and I'll take a year "off" from school so he can catch up to me so we can apply to the same schools for our PhDs. Our future together is certain, we are going to get married once we're in the same place and financially stable, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Maybe he has doubt that my living situation would change that over the next year, which is absolutely ridiculous.

kygirl, I've looked at moving into a house/apartment with someone else, but unfortunately the pickings are slim where I'm moving. I would hate to get into a bad situation where the other person hasn't been paying their mortgage or decides to kick me out with no notice. It would be so hard to know if that person was a druggie, or a thief, or if they were enemies with the mafia...blowing up the house=no good. I'm kind of a control freak, so I like to be the responsible one because I know myself, so I would rather the lease be in my name, etc. There is only one other guy in my program, and he is married with a kid on the way. My options are waring thin!! Haha

sourpuss, wanna be my girl-boyfriend?? lol

It feels good to put this issue on the table like this and get other opinions about it. Like I said, I would rather live alone and it's not like I WANT to live with my friend, but my finances may force me to consider that option.

[Guest]

no way

I'm a guy and I'll tell you, there is no way I would be able to handle you living with some other guy, even if I knew he was not interested. I guess I am just too insecure. It seems to me that you should be able to find a femal roommate to share an apartment (they are 50% of the population). He's trying to tell you no but feels funny admitting he does not trust you. Use some common sense and find a female roommate.

[jns]

Fish hasn't been back in a long time, but I would have turned this around. Since Fish saw this as a money problem, she should have seen to it that her bf had a female roommate that was attractive and worked closely with him, even carpooled with him. The rent she was paying would be used to ease finances. Once the roommate was in place, she could examine her reaction and find out if she got any anxiety.