[WildChild]

One word comes to mind to describe him, having read this and your other thread: immature.

That doesn't mean he'll stay that way. I dated a guy in college who sounds like your guy - vanishing, heavy drinking, all that. I moved on. He grew up, has been happily married for many years and is a respected professional. But you can't grow him up, he has to do that. You'd probably be happier living separately while he makes his journey.
Why did you decide to live together?

[Kaystrwbry42]

hes confessed to me since that the reason he was drinking this month when we decided to live together is because he needed to escape. He was stressed from lack of money just currently and lack of passion (we haven't had time to make love or have a good dinner) and he was scared about having less freedom than his entire life before we lived together. he's told me he is sorry and everything has been his fault and he doesn't want to escape again. He wants to be happy. Hoping things keep up

[Therapy]

I also drink but not regularly .