[lime_lemur]

I dated someone who I felt was too soft. Not that I expect men to defend women at all times and open doors for them and whatnot, but he was entirely too soft and fragile for me. I know everyone has emotional moments... but this guy must have cried four times for every time I cried, and he was very awkwardly antisocial and afraid all the time, hanging awkwardly in the corner while I would be socializing. He would be practically useless in high stress moments, panicking while I had to work it out. He was a very sweet guy... but kinda too sweet. I also dated a guy who had a bit of a manly complex, and often injured himself just trying to show off. He made me feel like I was totally incapable of doing anything for myself. I couldn't STAND that. I didn't put up with the macho attitude for too long. My current boyfriend never has and probably won't beat someone up over me unless they're physically harming me, but he's the one who manages to take control in stressful situations. I've only seen him shed tears twice in over a year. He'll put himself between me and danger when it's there, he kept composed while carrying me into the ER when I was in extreme pain, and if I'm stressed or panicked he stays VERY calm even if it's stressful for him too, and helps me tackle the situation. Very gentle and caring. I never had to establish any kind of "ground rules" with him, it just seemed to work out. I love his balance... not overbearingly protective but not unreliably soft.

[Texasred]

...But if this is an ongoing problem for you and your guy... you might want to stop and evaluate what signals you may be subconciounsly sending out to the men around you. No matter HOW hot the girl is, or how drunk the onlooker is... going up and petting a stranger in front of her boyfriend is not all that common a practice.

I was sort of thinking the same thing myself; when this kind of thinkg happens more than once, there just might be other reasons for it.
What kind of signals is she sending?
Is she turned on by conflict? By jealousy?