I'm new to this forum. I've never once posted on any forum regarding my relationship or anything personal prior to this post. That being said, I think it's time I actually seek other people's perspective on this situation, and I thank you for any advice you can give me.
I have been with my significant other for a little over a year now. We had a rough start to our relationship and that part is my fault. I was drinking a little too much. I was depressed. So one day, I picked myself up and dusted myself off and I got better. I've gone back to school to finish my Masters degree. I volunteer my time to teach art. I attend events for shelter dogs. I've apologized profusely to my significant other for my behavior during that time (there was no infidelity. Just a lot of depression and erratic behavior on my part).
My significant other is becoming a problem in our relationship currently. He lives with his parents (which I understand completely and do not find a problem). He says he wants to take the LSAT to go on to law school, which I find admirable. However, he does not study and becomes wishy-washy by saying sometimes that he is not going to go. He calls me depressed and says he can't find a job and does not want to go to law school. The next day, however, he will assure me that he is doing something with his life and that he wants to go. He demands my support, but if I attempt to say, '_____, you should follow your original plan. You'll do great in law school. You just need to schedule yourself.' he will accuse me of being with him just to be dating a lawyer. If I say (which I have done), 'Alright, I support you not wanting to go to law school. What are your plans now?' he accuses me of not supporting him (and then reaffirms that he will go to law school because 'I would be disappointed in him if he didn't go and he doesn't want to deal with me being angry at him'. And the cycle continues.
He's constantly late. He says he wants to be financially independent from his parents, but upon getting his first paycheck next week, he plans to spend $200 dollars on a phone. When he's depressed we discuss therapy and he replies that he has no money to do therapy. However, he'll immediately go on Amazon and order books.
He detests his mother. If she asks him to do something he gets very, very angry. But he will do it. And if I point out that he has every right to refuse her request, he'll reaffirm that he must do it because if he doesn't she will 'nag him'. He blames things on other people.
Currently, I'm sitting here waiting for him to come in to town. He said last night he would be here by 12. He called me an hour ago to tell me he just left and he'll be there at 2 with no apology.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I love him but...I don't know if I can live with this. I want to be with someone who can take care of themselves. Who accepts responsibility. Who cares about other people's time and feelings. Thank you again for reading this. I know it's a lot. I should have talked to someone about this a long time ago.
I have been with my significant other for a little over a year now. We had a rough start to our relationship and that part is my fault. I was drinking a little too much. I was depressed. So one day, I picked myself up and dusted myself off and I got better. I've gone back to school to finish my Masters degree. I volunteer my time to teach art. I attend events for shelter dogs. I've apologized profusely to my significant other for my behavior during that time (there was no infidelity. Just a lot of depression and erratic behavior on my part).
My significant other is becoming a problem in our relationship currently. He lives with his parents (which I understand completely and do not find a problem). He says he wants to take the LSAT to go on to law school, which I find admirable. However, he does not study and becomes wishy-washy by saying sometimes that he is not going to go. He calls me depressed and says he can't find a job and does not want to go to law school. The next day, however, he will assure me that he is doing something with his life and that he wants to go. He demands my support, but if I attempt to say, '_____, you should follow your original plan. You'll do great in law school. You just need to schedule yourself.' he will accuse me of being with him just to be dating a lawyer. If I say (which I have done), 'Alright, I support you not wanting to go to law school. What are your plans now?' he accuses me of not supporting him (and then reaffirms that he will go to law school because 'I would be disappointed in him if he didn't go and he doesn't want to deal with me being angry at him'. And the cycle continues.
He's constantly late. He says he wants to be financially independent from his parents, but upon getting his first paycheck next week, he plans to spend $200 dollars on a phone. When he's depressed we discuss therapy and he replies that he has no money to do therapy. However, he'll immediately go on Amazon and order books.
He detests his mother. If she asks him to do something he gets very, very angry. But he will do it. And if I point out that he has every right to refuse her request, he'll reaffirm that he must do it because if he doesn't she will 'nag him'. He blames things on other people.
Currently, I'm sitting here waiting for him to come in to town. He said last night he would be here by 12. He called me an hour ago to tell me he just left and he'll be there at 2 with no apology.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I love him but...I don't know if I can live with this. I want to be with someone who can take care of themselves. Who accepts responsibility. Who cares about other people's time and feelings. Thank you again for reading this. I know it's a lot. I should have talked to someone about this a long time ago.
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