[rcoreyus]

I think it is cleanest to return the ring. It is a clear statement that it is over, that you owe him nothing. Usually jewelery can only be resold for a tiny fraction of its original purchase price.

Is he contesting the divorce, or if not why is it so expensive?

[curlygirl18]

I think someone that replied must've confused you all!

The divorce is not expensive - it is less than $200 and we mutually signed the papers.

However to respond to other commentors, I am the one who decided to end the marriage. There were many reasons for this, some of which include infidelity and anger issues.

But regardless of this and the "right" I may have to sell it because of what our marriage was like, I still feel that it is a sensitive issue and I'm not sure what I will feel comfortable doing.

I have a guilty conscience and will feel guilty or that I was wrong no matter what I choose, I'm afraid, so I don't think it will matter in the end.

I do not think I will give it back to him, but I don't know if I should sell it or keep it. That's my issue, I guess.

[eliz26]

First of all, your rings were a gift to you from him. Having said that, I just recently went through a divorce myself (Jan. 13) and my ex demanded that I return the rings. My lawyer said not to, but to prevent further arguing (it was an ugly divorce), I handed them over. Now since you do not appear to be in that situation (good for you), I would consider having something made from them that you would feel comfortable wearing. Selling would also make me uncomfortable, but you could put them in a safe place until you are ready to make the choice for sure. I think that having something tasteful made is a safe option that might make you most comfortable. When my parents divorced, my mom and dad actually had a necklace made for me with the diamond from my mom's engagement ring. Another idea if you have a child together.

[Guest]

"...but I also love that ring".

Admittedly, I was one of the confused ones about the cost of your divorce...sorry.

That being said, now I am confused based on the statement I quoted from your thread and some of the things you have said above.

Regardless, have you thought about giving it to a charity? How about a domestic abuse shelter or some other charity that might be close to your heart? Every little bit helps....them and you're helping somebody else. You might even get a tax deduction. Just a couple fo thoughts that popped into my head.

[BabyGirl]

oooooh Seeker, you are right up my Alley on that one.
Instead of just Giving it to Charity, as they would have to sell it for scrap.

How about an Auction or a " lottery". Where people pay $1 to enter the Lottery and All proceeds go to a Shelter for Abused or Homeless Women and Children ?

Have the ring Appraised by a trusted Jeweler, post the value and Have a Contest/ Lottery. Have the ring held by a Pastor or Clergy or Bank and the Lottery/ contest be handled by a trusted Source ..

What better Sentimental Value can you have than knowing you have helped others and others have helped too ?

[stressed]

I understand the problem. My ex fiance is returning his ring to me, so I'm going to be left with both rings (he didn't pay for them). I'm considering selling them and giving the money to charity, as I don't want to use any of that money for any personal purpose (even if the money wasn't given by him, it was still given for 'us' and 'we' are no more). I also like the ring and some times miss wearing it, but I don't feel there's a need for it to be around.

It depends on how you feel about it. Some people wear their divorce rings on another hand or another finger. Others sell it, others save it in a box and look at it from time to time, others throw it at lakes. Others wear it under special circumstances (e.g. traveling alone) to avoid unnecessary flirting.

Since you feel you won't avoid guilt no matter what you choose, you can keep it in a box until you are ready to decide. There's no rush.

[stressed]

(double post - what's with the server today-)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You were quick on pressing the button so it posted twice

Not enough sleep.

Well I have his mother's diamonds ,to which he claimed was worth $10k, I don't think so but the clarity is good there are three in the engagement ring.

I decided, to do this.... His Mother is dead, it was her engagement ring he modified, re-did.

One diamond to him, one diamond to his brother for his future wife and one diamond remains with me as he chose me, and his Mother I believe would be happy with that.

I don't wear it, and it's beautiful, I am engaged again and soooo happy, but maybe I would find the best way to make the highest money and give it to the RSPCA, for animals in shelters...I am in Aussie land and so many get destroyed as people just take them on and then can't look after them, having a diabetic dog that I chose to look after and never have a holiday until she dies, that is my desire.

Same story different charity...Sounds like the plan..

CW

[alicat]

an engagement ring, when accepted, becomes a "promise" to marry. if you do not marry the person then imho the ring should be returned. however, wedding sets are a different story and since there is nothing in the divorce stating it needed to be returned then it is yours to do with as you please. I like all the ideas here!

when I divorced my ex gave me his ring and I was going to have his and mine (set) melted and remade into something for our daughter, turns out she needed a dependable vehicle more than a piece of jewelry so I sold them (didn't get anywhere near enough) and used that money toward the down payment.