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  • belinda_davis
    Member
    • May 2011
    • 41

    best friend or not

    my so called best friend and i have had a huge fight. it was about the fact that she never comes to see me or makes an effort when it comes to our friendship. we were friends for about 14yrs.
    it all come out when i asked her to come see me, she can drive and i don't so it seemed fair to me. then she goes on about having a two year old and its so hard blah blah blah. i was going to catch the train and bus with my 6month old to see her.
    anyway i still have no desire to talk to her yet. i am wondering if i should even bother to make up with her. i doubt she'll ever change.
    what do you think i should do?
  • Darling
    Veteran Member
    • Jul 2010
    • 360

    People grow apart when they grow up. Long time friendships change as well. You can't expect to have the same relationship you did years back. You both have children and lives of your own. It's time for a change in your relationship. Talk on the phone or email, keep the relationship alive. Don't force it, that will only put more distance between you. Be there for each other emotionally for now, and understand that making time to see someone when you are stressed, busy, and in a relationship, can be very frustrating.

    Be patient, show support and friendship even if it means not seeing each other. You could be adding more stress to het life by wanting her to drive out and see you.

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      Some friends require you to do the heavy lifting. Sometimes they bring something into our lives that makes it worthwhile. Sometimes not. If you are not getting anything out of the friendship, consider not pursuing it.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • belinda_davis
        Member
        • May 2011
        • 41

        Thanks for the advice guys, I guess I will wait until I'm not angry any more and see how it goes.

        Comment

        • Darling
          Veteran Member
          • Jul 2010
          • 360

          That's a good idea, let the steam fade out before you try to make any big decisions.
          Good luck! I know how it feels in this situation.

          Comment

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